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Toby Fox knows who pjackk is. this means that he walks among us. and yet my salsa lawnmower query remains unanswered. Toby, reveal thineself, and you shall be reincarnated as a beautiful hummingbird, I swear upon my power as a Girlposter

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

groping around for my vape in the dark and I brush up against the tilt rod fuse of the Type 84 anti-tank mine I keep in the bed, killing myself and my wife instantly

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

i hate diet culture so much. i hate how everyone steamrolls over my "i don't like talking about dieting." i hate seeing vibrant, beautiful personalities turn into someone who only talks about their weight loss. i hate when people brag abt how little they've eaten. i hate being expected to fawn over ppl for being on a crash diet. i hate when women go "hahah, i just don't really eat!" i hate when ppl use coffee or cigarettes to suppress their appetite and think that's healthy. i hate when i see the pain in my friend's eyes because someone around them lost weight and they feel Too Fat by comparison. i hate when people assume I'm unhealthy because im fat. i hate that this is something i've had to deal with since i was 7. i hate when fat people, stranded in a culture that villifies every aspect of their being, are asked to clap and cheer for thinness.

u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

men in the 70s were like “I’m so very hairy how sexy of me” and they were right

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

hello, fellow apes

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

wow that really sounds

wow that really sounds

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