good morning starshine, the earth says hello.

So this happened.

omg, this looks so good, like my-favourite-food-ever-good.

#gets better with age #like a fine wine

it's so true.

50% of me wants to be the type of girl who does yoga at night, and drinks green tea, and reads books, and wears cute pyjamas, and stays at home; while the other 50% of me wants to wear my sexiest outfit and go out doing lines of cocaine off strippers racks while dancing to dirty music until I black out. 

If you think about it, the process of singing the birthday song and cutting the cake is extremely satanic

you must be fun at parties

I am a-okay with this.

i hate the saying “apples and oranges” when describing things that are completely different because they are both fruits you should say something like “giraffes and crystal meth”

idk giraffes and crystal meth arent that different they both can get people pretty high

holy jesus

It’s also illegal in most states to keep a giraffe lab in your basement.