emmy

my father mentioned ryan gosling today and i swear i could feel the dopamine receptors in my brain vibrating the moment i heard his name. like fuck it's that serious isn't it???

i never thought that the first multi-chapter fic i'd ever get around to actually posting would be for a sorta kinda niche crossover, but here we are... around 40k words of coltland content i feel like a woman possessed.

i feel like a little kid standing next to my parents' bed in the middle of the night going "i threw up" whenever i ask my mother if she wants to go see project hail mary with me for the nth time.

nothing quite like the fact that i read like the first four or so chapters of the summer hikaru died as it was first coming out (around the time when i was coming to terms with the fact that i was queer) and being like “oh, this makes me uncomfortable because i kinda see myself in this story and idk why the fact that this very obviously gay boy is making me really sad whenever he thinks about his dead best friend who he was probably in love with and is connecting with this new version of him who is actually a monster that Kills People”. and then like a few years later being way more comfortable in my sexuality and out of the small town i grew up in when the anime was released and kinda being like “yeah… yeah, the signs were there and this is actually gut-wrenching and heartbreaking and nearly unbearably relatable oh my god this is peak”. on another note, i need volume 7 to be released like immediately i need to get my hands on it NOW!!!

yoshiki tsujinaka is painfully relatable in a whole lot of ways but all it took for me was the fact that he's a country kid and queer and has stomach issues to boot.

truthfully i have consumed very little naruto content BUT i do know for a fact that naruto and sasuke are in love with each other because why else would they be Like That???

trigun is crazy because why is it making me, an atheist, want to read the bible?

if i think about dick (grayson) for too long i start crying.

i love all the robins, i really really do, but dick grayson... he is so special idk how to describe it. you just can't outdo the doer i fear.

currently thinking about damian wayne, who is a boy raised in violence and blood and death and was taught that pain was absolute, only to have a chance to grow outside of that environment and realize that life is full of warmth and art and beauty and there are things he wants to care for and protect in this world.

seeing yuri dickkori on my dash has reminded me why life is worth living.

i feel like people forget that antilochus was also with achilles and patroclus in the underworld in that one scene the odyssey. like yeah it's great that achilles and patroclus were reunited in death, but their best friend who had to grieve for them both was also able to see them again.

telemachus and pisistratus are THE best friends to me you don't understand. like yeah they got quite a few things in common, but their fathers are both Old Men who are (absent) legends and that's the strongest bond of all.

something about diomedes and achilles, man. both mighty warriors, but one must linger on this earth and endure while the other goes out in an inferno of rage and glory.

should've known i was queer about a decade ago when my favorite book series ever was the leviathan trilogy. the signs were there and i am apparently illiterate!!

waiting to see superman until this weekend has me feeling like i'm walking through a hallway covered in legos and it's pitch black so i can't see shit and every lego is a spoiler. i will die if i step on a lego.