I'M BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING

we have to thank our brave soldiers in fandom who write gen fics. we have to thank our brave soldiers in fandom who write character studies and stories with no focus on romance or sex. we have to get on our knees and thank the brave soldiers in fandom who write about minor characters and friendship and family with no focus on romance or sex. i know it’s hard to care about characters in a world that seems to only revolve around ships but i see you. and i love you

a funny thing about having a Problematic Blorbo is that you'll periodically come across a post along the lines of "um let's not forget that [Blorbo] is a bad person..." listing their various crimes, and if you have a modicum of intellectual honesty you find yourself nodding along and saying yeah it's true... but it's the greyness of their character that makes them so compelling... At the same time though you have a little Saul Goodman in your ear going "your honor in their defense: who cares like omfgggg who caresssssss like come onnnnnn"

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

I WANT TO WRITE MY STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!! -> continues doing literally Anything Else besides writing

needless to say I am hopelessly dependent on The Character

i bet parasitic insects say shit like “have a lice day🤗” and “you’ve ticked me off😡”

“goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the humans bite!😴”

Cutting my electric bill down to 0.00001% of its current cost by inventing a lightbulb that calculates my position and only produces the exact set of photons which will bounce off all the surfaces and hit my eyes directly

Letting you stumble and flop around my seemingly pitch-black house while I navigate it with ease because I haven’t invented the lightbulb that can do this for two people at once yet

“I’m gonna beat the absolute shit out of a robber one day” I tell you while you trip on my carpet. “I’m gonna go Daredevil on his ass.” You can’t see it but you’re making such the stupidest face right now

i fuckign queued this and forgot abt it and got scared cuz i thought i was hacked or smth. anyways happy june eleventh

reblog while its still true 

wait one fucking second it is June 10th the time police lied to me

there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst

heritage post

come on man

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies