How to deal with personal failure
Sometimes you might try as hard as you can and put so much effort into something and you get the results back and they just aren’t what you want. Failure can be under 50% or it could be a personal failure, when you just dont get the result you were hoping for. Recently i experienced my worst personal failure to date and I had to find ways to deal with that. I have a few tips on how to deal with a personal failure:
I know that crying isn’t fun; your eyes get sore, your nose runs and if you’re around other people it just makes you look like a mess. However, sometimes when you have all this emotion built up you just have to let it out. Having a big cry will make you feel better trust me! Remember to drink water or something after you’re finished because crying can be very dehydrating. Also, if your eyes get too sore put some eyedrops in them to help rehydrate them. Try not to continue to strain your eyes by getting too much screen time because that can also dry out your eyes and make you feel worse.
Sometimes, a personal failure can feel like a failure because you’ve built up so much stress and anxiety that can cause you to make a mountain out of a molehill. The mountain of a failure might just be a little molehill. So, after you’ve had a cry (if you need to, no pressure!) don’t immediately jump back into studying or work, just take a breather. You don’t want to straight away built up all the stress again because that will just turn into a horrible cycle. So just sit down, watch a movie, eat an ice-cream, whatever makes you feel relaxed.
3. Dont be afraid to ask for help!
I know more than enough about being to afraid to ask for help, and having so much anxiety that it feels like you cant talk to anyone about your problems. I kept everything inside me for weeks until I finally told my mum how I was feeling but when I did finally tell someone, opening up made everything feel so much easier and smaller. talking about your issues really helps to rationalise them and to find ways to deal with them.
4. If you can’t ask for help, be your own help.
sometimes its too hard to ask for help, or you let your anxiety get the better of you, but thats okay! Don’t be too harsh on yourself about that, it will only worsen the problem. In this case, be your own help. The same way talking about your issues allows you to manifest internalised thoughts and emotions that would have otherwise been left alone into reality in order to work through them, writing things down in a journal or even typing it into your phone works the same way (look up journal therapy). Speaking from an emotional point of view, journaling helps to clear the mind emotionally and mentally, because everything is out on paper so to speak.
5. Try again…when you’re ready
In my case, I wasn’t ready to move out, and I felt like I had failed, but talking through my issues and crying it out made me realise that I hadn’t failed, and that I just simply wasn’t ready. I am in no rush to try again but maybe in another years time i might try again to see if I’ve gained the mental maturity to move out. If I then decide I’m still not ready, so what? Im not ready, ill try again when I am. If you fail, then try again, but don’t feel pressured to try again immediately (unless the task is time sensitive then definitely dont leave it too long). Say you have an essay due in a week that you keep trying to write and you just seem to keep failing at it, take a break and then try again in a few hours, or a few minutes or however long you need in order to regain your strength.
And Finally…just remember that you can get through this! No matter what situation you’re in, remember that It will pass, and you will be a better person for it! Stay strong and persevere!
