Probably the longest email I received from Pa, in response to an email sent to him by my clueless, whiny, too idealistic, feeling entitled fresh grad self back in 2008. Reading this again made me realize that my perspective on work has significantly changed since then. Work is both humbling and, for lack of a better word, dignifying (uplifting?).Â
This is for fresh grads and not-so-fresh grads, and people who think that the grass is always greener on the other side (occasionally guilty of this) :)
Date: XX/XX/XXXX 9:26 PM Â Â
Subject: Re: :(
dear aiks,
do not worry. i also felt like that when i was working. kaya palipat lipat ako ng office sa san miguel corporation. give it a little time. meanwhile, actively look for other options. (you might want to help me muna. ha.ha.ha.)
it is too early to tell what you are meant to do. but quitting this early will not be good for you. while you may be unhappy and stressed, there is a better way of coping with it. the more unhappy and discontented you are, the more you will dread everyday you work. as i have said, you are not in the worst place at this stage in your career. sometimes, having too many choices is not that healthy. i think sticking on to your job for a significant amount of time is a good idea. it will test your ability to cope with something you are not too happy doing. the sad reality is that we have to bear it because it is part of the learning process. If i encourage you to quit early, the next time you feel the same discomfort, you will not learn to cope but quit again.
I know of quite a number of people who were as good as you – or who were even better than you, but did not achieve their full potential because they always wanted to be happy with what they were doing. we need not go very far. Person A and Person B had to struggle with Company X because they did not have much choice. It is only now that they can do as they please because they have established themselves already.
I do not think you should lose sight of what you want to do. If you do decide to quit, be responsible enough to find another job before quitting. It will not look good if you quit without any definite job waiting.
i do not suggest that you immediately take the NGO route unless it is the CSR of a prominent company. while it is true that you will study later on, remember that your studying will require you to return back to the real world that you are in right now. burn out ka na, bok. you might want to take a vacation muna. madali naman maghanap ng rason at this point in time. while i am not against you doing social development work, i must say that those who succeeded in this field went through the regular careers that we have gone through. Tony Meloto worked in the private sector for a long time. Manny Pangilinan, etc.
i will always support you in any way you want me to. while the job might not be for you, you might have to grin and bear it while you are looking for a new one (whether corporate or NGO). i have taken less fulfilling jobs in my career but i have looked at them as the dots that connected me to where i am now. the more you despair, the more you will be unhappy. many people would love to take your place, given the opportunity. just look at this stage as the difficult stepping stones in testing your character and patience. probably, later on, with the benefit of hindsight, you will conclude that it was all for the better that you were not too hasty in making the decisions on this matter.
having said what i think, do not be afraid to make the decisions you think that best suit you. lagi lang naman kaming nandito. but as they say, do not make decisions when you are unhappy (or emotional). they tend to be the less logical ones.
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*This post is for Patty, whose undergrad days are numbered. And who has been busy with papers, exams and interviews. One big fight <3
To: LGR, AGR
Date: May 9, 2006, 4:15 PM
Subject; Australia, here I come
Dear labs,
By the time you read this, palaro medalist na si tricia. Sa puso natin, parati siyang may medal. No. 1, ika nga, and the only one. Sino pa naman ang mas mahusay sa kanyang mag swim sa mga robredo. Pinakasexy pa. HUwag kang magalit ma and aiks. Masakit talaga ang katotohanan, ay mali ang malaki ang beywang, ay mali ay katawan dahil masikip ang damit.Â
Tawag ako pagdating ko sa mga kangaroo. Makikipag-inglisan lang naman ako doon. Dito iyong consultant ng ADB, bida na naman ang Naga. Hindi na talaga mapigil. Pera na lang ang kulang. Sarap dito sa lounge. Ganda pa ng sounds. Lulubos-lubusin ko na.
its 1030pm here. 430am diyan. libre internet sa room kaya ito ang libangan ko. when are you leaving for cebu again? i intend to sleep over at your condo before i return to naga on saturday. anyway, kung wala ka, tulog na lang ako. madagdagan ko lang yung electric bill na babayaran mo. ha.ha.ha.
medyo nosebleed na rito bok. nabobore na rin. biro mo lahat ng pictures ko sa cellphone nalagyan ko na ng captions. nakasulat na ko ng ingles na blog. hope to do the tagalog para sa abante tomorrow. mahirap kung ang mga nagtuturo ayaw ng diskusyon. pahinga na lang.
went to cologne cathedral yesterday. hope that someday, i can take all of you to europe. malalayo lang ang lakad pero pang culture naman. bad trip lang kasi mukhang mahal sa kalokohan. pati paggamit ng CR 1 euro, mga P67.
was reading your email. ganyan talaga ang buhay. magmayor ka na lang! ha.ha.ha. now you realize that the long and short of it is, parati may pulitika. everywhere you go. mag goberyno mag private. been there, seen it, done it! ha.ha.ha.
seriously, i hope you find satisfaction in what you do. that is the best motivator to working well. of course, ambition is another. malay mo dumating ang panahon, sinasakay mo na ko sa eroplano ng kumpanya mo.
am packing up. going back day after tomorrow. oks naman ang pahinga rito. kahit naglalakad ako, parang tumaba pa. tindi kasi ng tsibog. buffet at libre pa.
la akong magawa. pasensiya na paantok lang. sagutin mo naman!
 Hi Aiks.
I was trying to call. Baka nasa class ka na. There is a paid lounge here. Matagal pa hintay so i took time out kahit P560 bayad.
You have not written for quite awhile kaya ako na lang. While we are worried that you might lose your momentum if you go on JVP (or if you do not immediately work after you graduate), do not worry should you choose not to. Palagay ko, you have earned the right to decide for yourself. Okay ka naman.
Alalahanin mo na lang yung ad ng Smart. Ganyan kami! Will write Audrey muna. Jack Bauer is leaving again.
we did not have the chance to talk. pareho tayo occupied mag-alaga ng dalawang kids during vacation. i am glad we were able to go to UPENN. that is the kind of exposure that might help you work on what you want to do. do not worry, ipapangutang ko naman ang pang-aral mo kung mag masters ka. mag-umpisa tayo doon sa nakuha sa RM award ko. you are fortunate because you have the option to choose what you want to do. so plan it well. galingan mo. work hard. kahit hindi mo gusto yung ginagawa mo, you are still expected to work hard and excel. i just hope that when you work you will be more enabling.
there is little future in production, aiks, unless you discover and produce the product yourself or you are the brains of the idea like apple and microsoft. the safer way is marketing and finance. as they say, the best business is money. you might not like it so much when you were still in school but anyway that is a must learn in MBA.
huwag kang mag-madali. while i believe you owe it to where you came from to make a contribution, you will get there more comfortably if you succeed in your own career first. you cannot give what you do not have. (unless you want to run for mayor. he.he.he.)
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Hi, Ma. Before you laugh, let me get serious first! Ha.ha.ha. I am at the lounge. I will eat in 10 minutes. I would like to get hungry first so this letter.
I was listening to the radio this morning. The anchor was saying that women should be careful in wearing wide white belts. It is the in thing nowadays. But he said that they better be careful. Otherwise it might look like the parting of the Red Sea --- breaking and showing the bulges instead of the curves. Of course, this hardly applies to you! My idol!
Anyway, I decided to leave early. They cancelled the senate session this afternoon. I called up rene to pick me up. I think the weather in cebu is better.
Hi aiks! The parting of the red sea does not apply to you too! I am just too happy that you are living inside the campus. What a life here (in Manila)! Rains do make and break your day. I was late with my appointment with Arch. Palafox.
Before I forget the wooden tiles inside the room, ma, are slowly peeling off (cant find a better word).
My mother was invited to be the commencement speaker of my high school alma mater. I was not able to attend, but while she was delivering her speech, both of my sisters were messaging me how impressed they were. When we were much younger, my parents’ tutoring assignments were Math for Papa and English for Mama. We (Patty, Jill and I) have always known that Ma writes well and was partly responsible in helping us discover/develop our own writing style, but we are in agreement in saying that it is only now that we realize how underrated her charisma is when speaking in public (hehehe we love you, Mama!).
I may be a bit biased, but I personally think it is because she is such a genuine person (perhaps the most genuine person I know). I hope you’ll enjoy reading this as much as I did. :)
COMMENCEMENT SPEECH - Universidad de Santa Isabel
22 March 2013
(Theme: Go, Be God’s Witnesses of the Faith)
University President Sr. Lourdes L. Albis, BED Principal Simonet A. Barrosa, USI Alumni President Yolanda Beguia, school administrators, teachers, proud and happy parents, Isabelinas—the graduating class of 2013 —how proud I am to be with you on your graduation day.
Thank you for allowing me to be part of such an important occasion. I only have very fond memories of our school, especially of this quadrangle where we are now. It has been witness to some of the most important events in my life – my own grade school and high school graduations, and my two daughters’ high school graduations. Every time I stand on this very spot, I always have the feeling that I am standing on the edge of something really big. Just as all of you are at this very moment.
After this afternoon, you are to take a big step from what is safe and familiar into an unknown and scary territory. You will all be moving to college, perhaps attending a new school, mingling with new classmates, and taking on bigger responsibilities. Everything will just get tougher. But such is life.
After I graduated from High School more than 30 years ago, and had my graduation much like the one you are having now, I went to College, eventually became a lawyer, got married and had children. Everything had been going well. I had a wonderful husband and with him, raised three wonderful children. I had a career I loved and I was living the kind of life that I always wanted.
But lives can change radically in the blink of an eye. Seven months ago, my husband flew home to spend what was supposed to be a happy long weekend with us. His small plane plunged into the seas of Masbate and he never made it home. It was a tragedy like no other and my children and I were devastated beyond compare.
Many people who came to the wake to pay their last respects asked us where we were drawing our strength from at a time when giving up would have been the easiest thing in the world to do and everyone else would have understood if we fell apart.
I guess it was faith that sustained us. It was faith that kept us from questioning the logic behind the tragedy. It was faith that prevented us from putting all the blame on God and on anyone else. We knew that my husband lived a good life and had served and loved without restraint. Even if his passing caught us unprepared, we believe that God called him home in his most perfect time. We realized that while death is so final, love is more powerful than the boundaries of this life.
In school and in your homes, you have been taught with much care for the first 16 years of your life. Your teachers labored to teach you what you ought to know. Your parents, despite working hard all day, may have stayed up with you all night to help you over your projects and homework. They exerted all means to show you the right values that you need to carry with you when you go out into the real world. These sacrifices were made all for you.
Some would say that your parents and your school are tasked to mold you to be a person of value. I disagree. Because as it is, you are already of infinite value. You were born precious, a unique being of the universe, containing all the seeds that God planted in you to be a person of value to the world. All the things your parents and your teachers taught you were only meant to awaken that innate value. All that hard work were only meant to stir up your talents so that you can serve Him and humanity. When we treasure our worth as God’s daughters, we can be better witnesses of the faith.
I do not know if you have read the book or seen the movie The Life of Pi. It is about a boy who survived 227 days at sea with a carnivorous Bengal tiger on a small boat. Remember Pi when you encounter fears and difficulties. The story teaches us that we are often afraid of the wrong things. Some of the things that we think will harm us, in the end, are the things that will transform us. Every difficulty that we encounter is a spiritual journey which gives us a chance to rediscover the very good in ourselves.
I cannot think of a tragedy worse than losing a loved one who has been the center of your life. But my husband’s untimely death gave me and my children life-long lessons.
We realized the value of never letting a moment pass by and treasuring each day. Most young people like you, with your whole life ahead of you, often feel impatient to move, as if compelled to speed through time. Listen to us old people: Don’t measure time with your loved ones by the hours or days. In time, you must learn to measure the golden moments that we hold on to when they are gone; these are the moments that take our breath away. These are the moments that are preserved till eternity.
Don’t sleep angry, because you never know what the new day will bring, or if the subject of your anger will still be there. When saying goodbye, as many of you will today, try to leave a happy, peaceful memory.
In this day and age, when people are consumed by the need to acquire wealth or power, always remember that people are more important than things or money. So guard your words, especially when you are upset. The greatest regret is when we want to take something back, but can’t. Leave nothing unsaid, but speak with kindness. Show affection always.
I hope you make your graduation a time to reflect on the kind of a person you would want to become. Whatever your decision will be, please remember there is much need for individuals who will fearlessly stand for truth and real service. For people who will stay true to who they are. Who will serve this country and our people with passion, excellence, and integrity.
Don’t wait until you’re older to serve and make a difference. Each day that passes brings new ideas and expands our world. You, young as you are, can make a difference. Stand up and make us, clueless adults listen. Bring your ideas out. Let them shine! Serve. Decide to begin today.
Do not be afraid of the future. Only the present moment is guaranteed. Make it a good one. Make every moment count. When you go out of this school, go and be God’s witnesses of faith. Make your school proud.
Thank you very much and have a great year, Batch 2013!
nakahanap ako libre internet. i will be arriving cologne at around 2pm, philippine time tomorrow. mukhang mas alanganin ang oras na ito, buti pa half day ang difference.
my return flight eta in manila is at 8pm on june 12. we will have the kaya natin anniversary on the 13th. i go home after the celebration.
this will be a long flight. sana hindi mabaho ang katabi ko. former senator * was in the same plane as i was. business class siya all the way to cologne. ikaw na ang sikat. kala niya business class din ako. sabi sa counter seatmate daw kami. ha.ha.ha.ha.
mabuti naman mere mortal tayo dito para parati nakaapak sa lupa. pag kinuwenta mo ang dagdag at ang hirap sa economy, oks na rin ang hirap. maiipon naman yan para sa mga anak. makonsensiya sana si aika. ha.ha.ha.
hope everything will be okay sa pasukan. suggest you text me na lang para tipid. i will buy a phone card when i get there. as they say, dont call me, i will call you. got to go.
labs na labs.
pops
 *will not post former senator's name, sorry guys :D
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i hope you are through with your basketball hangover. i do not know if you read that rabeh applied in la salle after he graduated from philippine christian high school but was not considered because his high school grades did not meet the requirement needed to be eligible to take the admission test. oh well, that probably is destiny. maybe God really wants ateneo to win this time. matagal na rin hindi nagchampion. ha.ha.ha. at para sumaya ka. smile ka naman diyan, bok!
i have around 21 months left before i end my term as mayor. i need to find something to do. parang ikaw but in a different and limited way. if i can find work in manila, palagay ko mas mabuti siguro. magkakasama uli tayo. tricia will be in college by then. i need to be able to move on from naga and sort of put it behind me, lahat ng bagay problema, sama ng loob, kasiyahan saka intriga na rin. i’ve always loved naga pero parang mahirap na andito right after I finish my term. baka lumabas na ang natural (ha.ha.ha.) seriously, i do not think i will be happy with that setup (kahit temporary). sana lahat ganoon din para we can move on.
i am even considering leaving the country. of course together with all of you. pag mag-aaral ka na, it would be the best time to do so. medyo mahirap lang maghanap ng gagawin. but at least tahimik na buhay at tahimik na isip na rin.
looking back mahirap din pala na naitulak ka lang ng unos sa ginagawa mo. in a way, you are fortunate that you are seeking what you want to be this early. mahirap yong walang benefit ang talent mo. not so many choices. you take what is given you. yan ang buhay ko. masuwerte na rin. overachieving (depending on who is giving the assessment) pero parang may kulang.
i intend to write something on what would have been para huwag mong gayahin. pero actually kumpleto na rin naman lahat. it is 1159pm. lahat na tulog. magpapaggising daw si jillian ng 6am. bye na ako. baka mapagalitan ako pag di ko siya nagising.
do not read between the lines. i just whiled away the time para antukin ako. saka para naman ma-feel mo na normal yong mga problema mo.
There were two things I couldn’t bring myself to do after August: (1) watch video clips of Papa singing the karaoke, and (2) read emails he sent to me a few years back. Since the funeral, I’ve always wondered if it was ever truly possible to think about him without feeling heartbroken afterwards. But over time, I’ve come to realize (and have resigned to the fact) that when it comes to remembering him, joy and sadness are, indeed, intertwined. So after months of putting it on hold, I finally decided to open my old yahoo mail account and archive his letters.Â
I’ve been spending the past couple of nights reading his emails, and it was like hearing his voice again. Some of them were so corny (!!). But there were also messages full of wisdom that I could only wish I had more “life experience” at the time he sent it because I probably would have appreciated it more.
This is one of the many entries documenting his letters to me. I will be posting them here occasionally and will try to leave them as raw and as unedited as possible (meaning with typo errors and wrong capitalization/punctuation; will only filter out the names of some people he mentioned). Enjoy the first one below :)
(PS: You may click on this link to see all posts containing Papa's letters.)
 -------
To: AGR
Date: November 18, 2008, 1:28 AM
Subject: Balak sa Buhay
 Hi aiks,
Mama left a few hours ago for the airport. Paalis na. Tapos na vacation namin. Thanks for coming home (to babysit). I hope you can do it more often.
Last week, per my request mama submitted our resume to test if we can qualify to move to Canada. It seems that we do. Just one of the things I am considering for my retirement. Anyway, I am no barat obaba. I am just like most na naghahanap ng tahimik na buhay rin.
This is not the reson why I wrote you. I was reading an article in Fortune magazine on what is the most critical element for success. First, the article says, it is not talent. Many people who have more talent than many others did not succeed. Your father did not have much (ha.ha.ha.). Second, it is not education. Sample niya yung dalawang regular students from Harvard and Dartmouth who became COO of Microsoft and GE. Mga ordinary students lang sila like Obama and Bush (kagaya ng tatay mo). Ang sagot, niya it is desire and perseverance and being good at things that you do not want to do. The article coined the term "deliberate practice", meaning working on to be skillful on the things that are difficult and unpleasant to do. Deliberate practice on things you do not want to do before doing what you want to do. This is what distinguishes the ordinary from the extraordinary, like Tiger Woods.
Anyway, my christmas gift to you is a one year subscription of Fortune Magazine. Malay natin, it might inspire you to build your own fortune. Ha.ha.ha. Barat nga!
***Para sa pagod at kulang sa tulog. At para na rin sa mga kapwa ko alipin (at mga amo namin).
"May panahong parang nagkakasalungat ang damdamin at pag-uunawa. Halimbawa, merong isang doktor na sabik na sabik sa medisina. Nararamdaman niyang meron siyang ginagawang mahalaga at nakatutulong sa kapwa. Meron siyang interes, pananabik. Subalit sa paglipas ng panahon, napapagod siya sa trabaho, nawawalan ng gana. Pero nauunawaan niyang maaari pa siyang magtrabaho. Matutulungan pa niya ang kanyang kapwa kahit wala nang sabik na damdamin."
"Meron ding isang inhinyerong gumagawa ng tulay. Sa una ay matindi rin ang kanyang interes, ang kanyang pananabik sa paggawa ng tulay dahil nakatutulong siya. Natutulungan niya ang mga taga-probinsyang madala ang kanilang produkto sa sentro. Pero sa kalaunan ay napapagod din siya. Sa pagkapagod, maaaring maunawaan niyang nakatutulong pa rin siya sa iba, na makabuluhan pa rin ang kanyang ginagawa."
"Samakatuwid, ang pag-uunawa ay ginagamit ng tao para makita ang katotohanan. Hindi ibig sabihin nito'y hindi na mahalaga ang damdamin. Pero kahit mawala ang damdamin, mauunawaan mo pa ring may saysay ang iyong ginagawa."
Padre Roque Ferriols, SJ
Nobyembre 13, 2007
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"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (Nelson Mandela)
So much has happened since the last tumblr post (and I don't know if my friends' accounts are still active). But here is my attempt to bring this site back to life.