kinda like a modern prometheus idk

re: qifrey's hair turning white. i think its funny to imagine it's naturally black like his eybrows and would start growing back that way if he ever managed to decurse himself. but i also like to think he starts immediately Magic Bleaching his roots(hah) as soon as they grow in because not only does he think it would look bad he also feels kind of cringe for how badly he does not want to ever have to find that out OR let anyone know how badly it bothers him. and this is the new dark secret he cares as a burden for the rest of his life because at this point he just kind of needs one of those to function properly.

this year’s prom theme is… *opens envelope* Great Lakes Invasive Species And What Boaters Can Do To Stop Them

And the subject of tonight’s ecology panel is *turns on powerpoint* Enchantment Under the Sea

craziest thing in the world is how many restaurants have started not including fries or any side whatsoever with their burgers meanwhile the burgers cost the downpayment on a new car. you want $19 for a fucking sandwich and you aint gonna give me even a scoop of coleslaw on the side? you’ve truly lost your fucking mind. i’m filing a class action lawsuit atp

im a fake fan of everything i like because i cant remember anything

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

sometimes when i post on here i feel like that one clip from community where abed is doing a standup routine but it's so specific to him and his life that troy is the only one laughing.

More beer for the sensitive developmentally stunted adult woman

Where's it made? Who brought it here? How much were they paid? Who makes it? Is it made in separate parts and put together? How much were they all paid to do this? Where do they get the materials? Who paid for that? Who brings it there? How much were they paid? Who streamlined the base materials? How much were they paid? Who gathered the base materials? Where? How much were they paid? Is it good for them? Is it good for us? Is it good for the land? Is it necessary? Is it biodegradable? How much does it hurt? Do I need it? Do I even want it?

Dump your boyfriend and master the art of sudoku instead

i keep spending money. i should be killed