When he was little, Robby liked lying with his head in his bubbe's lap, as she stroked his hair and told him stories. It quickly became their favourite thing, and even when he got older, she still let him do that, his head in her lap, as he told her about his day, or sometimes they just stayed like that in silence, comfort and reassurance. They did that until she passed.
As an adult, sometimes the sudden urge to feel that again and be comforted, almost takes him out with its intensity. He desperately misses the bond of unconditional love and trust. He'd love to feel that sense of peace and security just once more, with hands in his hair and and a voice promising him that everything will be okay.
But he's not a child anymore and it's just wishful thinking. He should be the one offering that comfort. But it's not like he can. Jake isn't little anymore, and it's not like he'd let him, even if he was speaking to him.
So it's fine. It doesn't matter. Robby is too old to be offered comfort in this way, and he doesn't have anyone to offer it to, so it is what it is. He had never asked any of his short term partners for this, the vulnerability was not something he could afford with them and the trust wasn't there. Even Janey wasn't privy to that part of Robby's needs.
Until the time he comes down with the flu. So bad, that he has to text Jack and ask for some help. Jack turns up to find Robby in the throes of fever, tangled up in sweaty blankets, and looking like he hasn't slept in days.
Jack gets Robby water and medicine. He helps him to change clothes and moves him to the sofa while he changes the bedding. Afterwards, settling Robby back into the bed, he suddenly finds himself with Robby's head on his lap, warm face nosing into his stomach and hears perhaps the most contented sigh he ever heard out of his best friend.
Safe. Jack hears Robby murmur. Safe now. Finally safe.
He wasn't really planning on leaving Robby on his own, but he certainly isn't going anywhere now. Settling against the headboard and cradling Robby closer to him, Jack slides his hand into Robby's hair and is rewarded with another soft sigh as Robby nuzzles even closer.
Jack doesn't move as Robby starts quietly sobbing. He doesn't yet know the importance of what he has the privilege to provide. Robby will tell him one day and Jack will always be the safe space that Robby needs. All he knows now as he leans down to press a kiss to his dearest friend's head, holding him impossibly closer, is that that's where he is supposed to be for as long as Robby needs.
