Skellie

fun fact!! it turns out that now when u make a new blog, tumblr forces you to follow 3-4 people before you can change your icon or modify your blog in any way!! this, of course, means that, yes, some of the "potential bots" many of us have been automatically blocking could have possibly been genuine new users who were only just seconds in to having an account!!! tumblr is literally screwing new users over!!!!

I feel like I can say pretty confidently that if adventure time was still making new episodes that Brian David Gilbert would end up as a guest voice at some point. I don’t know why it just feels true

🧍‍♀️

I FEEL LIKE I CAN ALSO SAY PRETTY CONFIDENTLY THAT FINN IS CANONICALLY BI AND GETS MARRIED TO A CATBOY. IS THIS THING WORKING 🎤

diversity win! this WOMAN thinks with her dick!

listen, as a government regulator, please for the love of god call your city code enforcement on your landlords more often. we often have our hands tied and cannot enforce the law on code and permit violations until a citizen files a formal complaint. use the services available! PLEASE!

[ID: a still from the godfather that has been edited to say "you come to me on the day that i am so sleepy" end ID]

Listen. I wouldn’t just fuck an alien. I’d take an alien out on a date, to their favorite restaurant. I’d marathon an aliens favorite show with them. I’d spoon an alien every night. I’d bring an alien little random tokens and gifts to remind them of my affection. I’d help an alien work through their emotional issues and family baggage. I’d adopt a shelter pet with an alien and raise him as our very own son. I’d grow old with an alien, every blissful year of our union reminding us of how much we cherish each other. I’d make love to an alien.

boobs are good

this one was a hit with the boob community

trans men be like hot and shit like they're just hot as fuck like what the fuck man why are you being so hot god damn

I want a man who ripped his masculine form right out of the hands of God. I'm sorry cis men that you will likely never have the opportunity to do something that metal.

probably the sexiest paragraph I've read in my entire life thank you for making it

the triple burden (housework, childcare AND paid employment) IS a real issue that feminists have been discussing for decades... but the way tiktok tradfem tradwife girlies have twisted that into "it's too much stress for women to take on all the housework AND work full-time, so we should ~nurture our divine femininity~ by quitting our jobs becoming housewives and relying completely on our Strong Men to support us financially!!" rather than "it's too much stress for women to take on all the housework AND work full-time, so maybe men could start pulling their fucking weight around the house more and do the dishes every now and again"

good lord

when you die, all the processes in your body slow down and come to a halt before starting to decay. which means if you were to revive someone from the dead, necromancer-style, you'd potentially have to kickstart their entire system back up from a state of inertia. which means it almost certainly would not be pretty. i'm talking coughing up clots of blood, nauseatingly intense migraines and muscle cramps, and all the sensory overload that would come with firing up the body's engines from frozen cold to fully functioning all guns blazing in the matter of seconds it takes to cast a resurrection spell.

basically: 'resurrection hangovers' should totally be a thing