eli’s writing 𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖

when sirius escaped azkaban, there was only one thing driving him forward - the thought of his godson and his daughter.

harry was barely an infant the last sirius saw him, and you were just a toddler. his heart ached at the thought that he could've been there for you, raising you right, making sure you had a better life than he could have ever dreamed of for himself.

but now, he stormed through the open doors of the castle, ready to reclaim the life that had been stolen from not just him, but you and harry.

he knew that despite his anger he would have to lay low. it pained him, but the quieter he was the likelier he was to see his family again.

sirius felt like he could cry when he locked eyes with harry for the first time in decades. he went up to his godson and explained everything - or as much as he could without overwhelming harry.

as soon as harry understood what was happening, he flung his arms around his godfather and had to hold back tears. sirius rubbed his back so gently and tenderly that his floodgates were forced open and he started to sob into his intended caretaker's clothes.

once they had calmed down and bonded, sirius swallowed thickly and asked harry:

"where's my daughter?"

only to be met with a blank stare. "wh- what?" harry asked, clearly a little bewildered.

"my daughter," sirius repeated, silently praying to whatever god that nothing had happened to his beautiful girl as he rested his tea on the old mahogany table in the astronomy tower. "(deadname) black." he finished.

harry's confusion intensified for a split second, but then his features relaxed. "oh," he mumbled awkwardly, not entirely sure how to tell his godfather the news.

"don't tell me something's happened to her." sirius whispered. his face contorted into an expression of worry as he started to spiral into thoughts of all of the terrible things that might have happened to you.

"well, erm, you know what being trans is, right?" harry asked, somewhat sheepishly.

"yes..?" sirius responded, feeling himself become irritated. he just wanted to see you again, not talk about someone else.

"so, uh... your child, is trans." harry explained. "he's.. he's not your daughter anymore. he's your son." the boy finished, bracing himself for whatever reaction would follow.

sirius felt a tear roll down his cheek, and harry felt panic rise up in his stomach.

should he not have told sirius? was he transphobic? would he disown his son? would he scold him?

but sirius seemed to sense the panic and just shook his head, reaching out to take harry's hand in his and squeeze.

he was mad, that much was true. but not at his son - you, rather at himself, because he wasn't there to guide you through navigating the world as a young queer person. because he wasn't there to help you during your transition, to fund it and reassure you.

but he didn’t have time to linger on the what-ifs and if-onlys. he needed to see his son.

sirius felt like he could die right then and there when he saw you in your dorms. his mind briefly flicked to remus, how he prayed that the three of you could be reunited at a family, but those thoughts faded as quickly as they left when you met his eyes.

you didn’t know him, not really. but your teachers and your friends had spoken of him before; as well as remus. and he was unmistakably your father.

you ran into his arms, and sirius hugged you so tight that it would be painful if it weren’t for the beauty of the moment.

“my son,” he murmured into the crown of your head, gently rubbing your back up and down. “i’m sorry.”

you paused for a moment. what was he sorry for? he was finally there, with you, holding you. what was there to be sorry about?

as if reading your mind, sirius whispered, "i wasn't there for you." there was a pause, and he swallowed, tears pricking his eyes. "but i'm here now. and i'll do everything i can to make it up to you."

♡ if you're on hrt:

dennis is, as we know, a doctor, so he makes sure that you take your hormones both regularly and properly.

if you're scared of needles but use them to take testosterone, he'll use the same tactics he would in the hospital while giving you your shot - offering you a hand to squeeze, reassuring you that it will be okay, and gently peppering kisses on your face and/or injection site while rubbing your back.

ok, maybe he wouldn't do that last one for just any patient in the hospital.

if you take testosterone in pill form, you best believe he'll make sure that you never forget to take them.

he'll buy one of those stupid pill organisers and organise your hormones in it along with any other medication you might take.

finally, if you take testosterone via a roll on gel, dennis will put it on for you in a heartbeat.

somehow, he manages to make the sterile, bright blue of surgical gloves against your skin feel gentle.

♡ if you're not on hrt:

first of all, if you're not on hrt simply because you don't want to be, you'll receive absolutely zero judgement from dennis.

he understands that the side effects and changes can be overwhelming, and has also come to learn that not everyone needs hrt to feel like themselves.

if you're not on hrt because you can't access it for whatever reason, even though you still want to, he'll spend every waking hour he spends with you trying to make you feel more masculine - whatever that means for you.

whether it's buying you gender affirming clothes, giving you verbal reassurance that you're still a man, or calling you 'his boy', 'his man', 'his boyfriend/husband', or even his 'bro': he'll do it, just to see that glimmer in your eye when you feel gender euphoria.

♡ if you're dysphoric:

while getting his doctorate in medicine (and totally not also while doing the mountains of research on trans people when he fell in love with you), dennis did in fact learn about gender dysphoria, and how it can hang around no matter how far you are into your transition.

he knows that it's different for everyone, but slowly starts to pick up on little signs that your dysphoric, and eventually knows the second the thoughts cloud your mind.

he's learnt not to smother you, and rather carefully ask if you're feeling okay and if there's anything he can do to help.

it's admittedly hard for dennis to deal with - he feels overwhelmed by love and worry and such a strong need to make everything better.

♡ if you're recovering from top surgery:

if you're hoping to bend the rules while recovering from surgery, you need to throw that idea out of the window right away.

dennis monitors you like a worried mother, and you best believe he has a list of things you can and can't do both on his phone and laminated around the house.

if you pop a stitch, he'll be furious. and also very upset. (here's a fic by @kingofjohto i recommend with that scenario!)

while you're learning to love your scars, he'll kiss them with so much tenderness that it hurts.

little, tentative pecks that carry nothing but adoration and pure, unadulterated love.

♡ if you bind:

dennis watches you get ready in the morning just so that he can start an eight-hour timer the second that your binder's on.

if he's not at home and/or you don't work together, he'll message you every hour or so asking how your chest is feeling; and will call you when his timer goes off to (lovingly) demand that you take it off.

yes, this started when you first begun dating, no, it does not stop over the years, and no, it never will.

after work he'll tentatively help you remove your binder with such care that it makes your ribcage ache.

he doesn't care that you have breasts - in fact, he loves them. he hates the pain they bring you, but he still loves every part of your body, because it's an extension of you.

he'll research the best stretches for pre and post binding, rub your back, and as previously mentioned, will obsess over making sure you bind safely.

♡ if you're menstruating:

the first time you tell dennis you're on his period he's stunned, because he has a tendency to forget that you have one, especially considering that he doesn't (or does, based on your hcs).

but, once again, he's a doctor, and he knows a fair bit about periods, cramps, hormones, and how to make it better.

he's always understanding of mood swings, which, imo, makes him the best possible boyfriend.

dennis will buy you chocolate (but in moderation - he is still a medical professional after all) and heat up a hot water bottle for you in the blink of an eye.

whatever it takes to make his man happy.