on all levels except physical i am asleep rn

My boss’s first language isn’t English. However, she loves giving inspirational speeches to everyone. I think today she was trying to tell us “don’t just stand around looking pretty”, but what she actually said was “WE DONT HAVE TIME TO BE SEXY”.

It reminds me of my Russian boss at the bakery. I didn’t wrap the bread correctly so she told me to “Snuggle like baby. Bread is your baby, Shelly. It’s sweet and gentle. Fragile, Italian.”

In holland when someone doesn’t close the door behind their backs we say ‘Ben je in de kerk geboren?’ which literally translates to ‘Have you been born in church?’ @useless-netherlandsfacts

In the United States we say, “Were you raised in a barn?” It’s supposed to imply that the person was raised without any manners. But as people who frequently use barns have told me, you would never leave the barn door open because then the animals could get out.

In Italy when someone walks in a room and doesn’t close the door we say “abiti al Colosseo?” (and other variants), which translates to “do you live at the Colosseum?” because the Colosseum hasn’t got doors

In Bulgaria we say ‘Da ne jiveesh v peshtera?’ and it translates as ‘Do you live in a cave?’ and it both implies you were raised mannerless like in the stone ages and that you don’t use use doors b/c caves don’t have any

In my house we say, “What the fuck, dude?” because I live alone and when a door is opened by someone who isn’t me, it’s usually my cat slamming his face into it at maximum velocity before disappearing into the next room.

in sweden we say ”har du en pinne i röven?” which translates to ”do you have a stick in your ass?” because that would physically prevent you from closing the door behind you - yes our language is beautiful thank you for noticing

In Lithuanian we say "gimei autobuse?" which means "were you born on a bus?" because bus doors close by themselves

me when i get my student loan

this is the money cat. reblog in 30 seconds and you will find yourself with more wealth

and it has its right paw up! the correct paw for this. and from the markings on its ears, it looks like it might be a calico cat. which is the luckiest kind!

extremely lucky cat

I don’t even care if it actually works, I’m mostly reblogging because it’s freaking adorable.

cute cat and need money, good post, 10/10

Y’know I reblogged this a bit ago and was saved from financial probation and getting kicked out of school because of it, just mere months from graduation. Got a call from the financial aid advisor telling me that they made a mistake with filing my account (or some other sort of clerical error) and said that, basically, they owe me money. Welp.

Last time I reblogged the money cat, I won two $100 gift cards at work.

Save me, money cat

SWEsvbubimm0mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm0,p-//////////////////////////////////lllllllllllll;uy nubvgjtnjk7ynnm,-p,———–pppopppppppppppppppppp..lplo0

No hair dye strand test we dye like men

people who leave their phones set to military time are fuckin war criminals how do you look at 16:05 and go wow i can understand that . fucking bootlickers whats next? you gonna go join the army??recruit me?

americans be like ok i cant count past 12 actually

Ah yes, military time. Or, as the rest of the world would call it... time.

i’m saving my brain for special occasions. if i use it every day it’ll get dirty

adulthood is carefully writing a two paragraph email that could actually just be reduced completely to “hey, what the fuck”

this guy is from an alternate timeline

“…what”