* dearest entropy, *

“I got freaks NINE days out of the week — I CAN GET MORE.”

“….—only seven days in a week.”

…

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

“I don’t think you understand physics”: they come back nearly an hour later saying their drink doesn’t taste right anymore and its cus their drink is watered down (melted ice) or flavor has settled (chai spices at the bottom or thick syrups). You ask if they want more of a specific component to make up for the flavor. They don’t give a straight answer. You remake it. 50% chance it happens again or you get a bad review for the store.

Don’t wanna bother: a sweetheart. They stood for thirty minutes waiting for a drink before asking you where it is. Completely understanding and asks for no reimbursement, they just want their drink. Literally makes me wanna upsize them for free because of how nice they are.

No Patience: literally asks when their drink is coming out after you call a name that was before them. No Patience is the entitled version of the above. Doesn’t understand there’s two different drink bars. Wants princess treatment.

“Is this mine?”: their name was just said. You made eye contact before sliding the drink over. They still pick it up and ask ‘is this for [name]?’ Even if you are busy making drinks, you need to TELL THEM even when the name is RIGHT ON THE CUP that its FOR THEM. They NEVER CHEXK THE NAME. THEY ALMOST STEAL A DRINK CUS THEY THINK ITS THEIRS AND IT ‘looks the same’

“Dolphin Show”

Steve as “The Dolphin”