Kurz ist der Schmerz

hey i felt you right click me just now. are you seriously viewing my properties? pervert

hey. i heard what the devil on your shoulder just told you to do to me. pervert.

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

When I finish this whale shark lamp all 4 of you are gonna be So I'm pressed

She glows now, just so you know, and she's full of string deliciöusee string

Are you gonna show us the lamp? 👀

A lot more than 4 of us are impressed

God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.

“are you okay?” oh my god no but for the purposes of this conversation yes i’m fine

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

Telling a beautiful woman that she's beautiful is like telling a child you haven't seen for a long time that they've grown since the last time you saw them. You get the urge to say that because this is something you don't see every day, but they live like that every day, and there is simply no polite way for them to say "yes, I am aware. I have no idea who you are, btw."