The Burdens Of My Mortal Coil

I have a question for the goblins, cryptids, and eldritch abominations of tumblr! If you could commit any crime and get away with it what would it be? I would commit arson because fire pretty

I would steal a betta fish from the pet store to give them a better life (I would steal the tank and all the things they need too)

change the laws so lgbtq members would get equal rights and protection, then probably set a homophobes lawn on fire

Eat anyone and everyone who has ever thought racism in any form was okay. Humans are all insignificant beings in the greater cosmos, do you really think you would evolve separate traits? And that the palest ones who get radiation damage after .2 seconds outdoors are the superior ones?

Yknow it belatedly occurs to me that those old ways of “welp, we had a drought, a famine, and a plague so the gods don’t like our king, lets get rid of him” actually make logical sense. If the king didn’t encourage infrastructure like digging wells, or invest in putting money aside to help feed people in times of crisis, or didn’t enact laws to stop the spread of disease….yeah. He needed to go. Not because the gods were angry, but because he was a bad king, and putting a new one in authority who would do those things to fix the problems would at least help weather the storm more effectively.

#in completely unrelated news i think the gods don’t like our king #perhaps we should see if a blood sacrifice of the wealthy will soothe them (tags via @words-writ-in-starlight​)

Consider that “we need to remove the ruler, here is a well thought out argument about his incompetence that lead to the current crisis” is unfortunately not persuasive to enough people to bring about action but “the current ruler has clearly angered the gods” will convince everyone else and the people that understand the first argument will probably read between the lines. 

Hey fellow humans, the  current ruler has clearly angered the gods,

The gods are clearly not happy. Time to remove the ruler

I concur.

Minor deity trapped in a mortal vessel here, can confirm that many of your rulers are pissing us off but one particularly orange one is ESPECIALLY infuriating

@eldritch-dichotomy

Finally, someone else understands! If you were to give apathetic, neutral beings sway over the political realm, rest assured that the earth would be a far more peaceful place. Especially because if you disobey us and our demands for universal healthcare for all individuals, we will not hesitate to banish you to the coldest, cruelest corners of the universe. Ignore the fact that we also may or may not consume your souls’ energies for sustenance that really isn’t important

a dark god speaking all five love languages at once

@eldritch-dichotomy