Under The Moonlight

During a creative-writing workshop during my undergrad, the professor shared an anecdote about a past workshop where one of the writers shared a first-person short story about a man contemplating having an affair with a married woman. Apparently at the beginning of the workshop, some uptight gal slammed the story on the table in front of him and shouted, "Assholes like YOU are the reason so few marriages last!"

I wish depression were an emergency. I wish someone could take one look at how sick I am and go “oh my god, we need to get you to a hospital!” and then when we get there I get rushed into surgery and the surgeons say “it’s a good thing you brought her here when you did, this is a seriously advanced case” and then they put me under and spend the next ten hours pulling metres of long, sticky black strands of gunk out of my body, throwing it immediately into an incinerator so that it can’t infect anyone else. And then they could stitch me back up and I could rest a few days, and when I leave the hospital everyone can see how much better I am and they congratulate me saying “well done, you’ve been so brave, I’m so glad you’re ok. I love you.”

nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between "things will get better" and "i can't handle this anymore." it's like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day.

so the childhood yearning to live in a fantasy world just never goes away huh

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and i'm losing sense of time