undying fidelity

if you’re american and coming to australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100 percent way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here

what does this say in english

“Good sir, if you are a resident of the United States of America and coming to visit the sunny land of Australia, allow me to inform you that you should be rather more concerned about being sucker punched by a gentleman named ‘Dane’ who is likely to be seen wearing a wifebeater with a beer company logo on it than by any of the dangerous spiders that exist on this lovely continent”.

ok so what does it say in american

“You’re more likely to get sucker punched/cold-cocked by an asshole than you are to be bitten by a spider”.

thank you

Well rattle my spoons, that don’t make a lick of sense. Wot in tarnation does this hootenanny say?

“If ya mosey on by Australia, you best be fixin’ to get to some fisticuffs more'n checkin fer spiders.”

This is a Rosetta Stone for a single language

some of you haven’t stayed up late to read a 100k+ word fic even though you had to be up early the next day and it shows

may 2019 bring you your “i’m doing better than i ever was” moment

atreus never was like “it’s weird how my dad can kill a bajillion dudes in battle and lift things five thousand times his weight. also he’s superhumanly strong and durable.” like when you’re a kid you think your dad is the strongest dude on earth. so like he sees kratos like throw a boulder, or fight a whole squad of bad guys, or kill a goddamn DRAGON to protect him and he’s just like “yeah, of course he can do that. that’s just how strong my dad is.”