chuuni io-resembling robot girl

hi hi, i'm edelorion (edel in short)! i try to write on occasion.

i have a pretty big amount of interests, but i have always been obsessed with phantasy star online (2 mainly, but the original also has a spot in my heart). love io.

things i'm working on:

webcomic: "WARTOWER"

i primarily go by she/her but i will occasionally refer to myself with it/its. it is not carte blanche for anyone to use it, only those i'd consider relatively close to me. (that's you nico and clover!! you're allowed!!)

TERFs, homophobes, racists, and other assorted ilk of such like, get off my blog.

some of the stuff i post may concern nsfw subjects but i don't post many horny things. still, i suggest minors to not interact, at least with those posts in question.

if you need me to tag something so you don't see it send me a message! also feel free to tag me in stuff!

i should note that i am autistic, so i may have a bit of difficulty in... certain social things.

camille is outwardly very uncanny. creepy. you look at her, see her nightmare eyes, and think "she would sacrifice me to the old gods for a boon". and she did do something similar, but she regrets it to all hell.

camille, once you get to break her shell, is very emotional. feels strongly ahout things. wants to do a lot. many drastic things. but she can't. she threatens people and won't follow up because she believes life is precious. she kills several people, one of which in self-defense, and she hates it with all her heart. the first one was out of envy. she got what she wanted. and she's happy, but every time she looks in the mirror she's also reminded of who she killed. and she's happy. and she hates that she can't say that she'd gladly bring evangeline back in a heartbeat.

she feels a lot of things. simultaneous and contradictory. not even to mention the cadaveriguses.

calli, on the other hand, is pretty opposite. she seems pretty sociable and always wears a bit of a smile. and she is happy on average.

but when you get down to it, calli is pretty desensitized. thunderus came after her once and while she freaks the fuck out as it was happening, she took that in stride. "thunderus hates me now, i guess." when she lost her job, she's more agitated than worried. when she loses her second job, she's all "welp. that happened and it sucks." she went through a burning lab to find out what the fuck was going on, made her pokémon worry themselves sick, practically made her girlfriend cry, and she herself is fine enough with just being alive.

she's a worriwart for others. when camille gets unwell in kalos wne passes out when they get home, she worries for her. but when she passed out, unable to control aurora while challenging skyla for the badge, she worried more if she pushed aurora too far rather than herself. she has no regard for her personal safety other than the binary "alive/dead".

she gets angry about small things. but the big things? yeah, she's still pretty angry, she guesses. but in truth, she's chronically unfazed.

they're like opposites of each other, in roundabout ways. dunno. sleepy. i might even bee wrong about my own characters, inagine that.

but sometimes, i wanna make something. i want to show the world the stuff i write. and sometimes i manage - i still love some of the Camille stuff i wrote. A Solstice for Misfits is still one of my favourite, well, things to read on occasion, even with all of the mistakes i made writing Camille.

the thing is, it's hard to make myself write. i only get into a proper writing mood when i'm somewhat sleepy. it's like the ballmer peak - a certain level of intoxication makes some people really good coders. another level makes them really good authors. i'd imagine it's the same with sleepiness in a way.

a certain level of eepy and the words flow from my mind, into my fingers, into the keyboard, onto the screen. it's a volatile state, sadly. forget not, i am sleepy. and i need to go to bed. and i will once i finish this post.

it's not easily reproducible - well, no, it is, but it's difficult to manage. i can't become sleepy with the same ease as someone could get tipsy, in theory. or maybe it is with the same ease, but time being the limiting factor.

furthermore, the writing i'm doing in that state is very much a stream. i can start it, and it'll flow. flow all the way until the end. it takes up other streams into itself, like themes get taken into account when writing. or something. bad analogy, whatever. the thing is, once the stream stops, it stops. i can't continue it easily. i can't leave something to be done later, i have to continue it. and if it's undone, i guess i can make something new. but that something new is something new. and it might end up unfinished.

...as i was writing this, this is where the stream ended. i was going into detail, the difficulty of consciously applying certain things, but i've grown too sleepy. i'll go to bed. maybe someone can make sense of this.

ah right i was gonna answer this earlier

it's a pretty complex answer. i have a lot of music i really like for different moods - i have an entire playlist for when i'm in complete despair or desperation and that has some stuff that hits when i'm feeling like that

but usually, just... stuff from games that i like, or stuff with an unique vibe, stuff that i can hum to.

though my favourites are usually pretty chill, mellow. low-key. melancholic, sometimes. low-energy.

this cover of On Little Cat Feet for instance. or...

this remix of Geothermal.

on the more high-energy end, there's this cover of Night Sakura of Dead Spirits:

or this lovely piece of keygen music called BetaMaster by Andromeda. keygen music generally has my favour.

this cover of "IDOLA" The Strange Fruits is a nice middle-ground.

...i also have a lot of lauren bousfield songs in one of my playlists. a friend of mine introduced me to her a long while back. her music's pretty neat, if unorthodox.