i'm a good writer, and the people i show stuff seem to agree. i like doing this. i have made a bunch of... very unfinished works that i keep to myself.
but sometimes, i wanna make something. i want to show the world the stuff i write. and sometimes i manage - i still love some of the Camille stuff i wrote. A Solstice for Misfits is still one of my favourite, well, things to read on occasion, even with all of the mistakes i made writing Camille.
the thing is, it's hard to make myself write. i only get into a proper writing mood when i'm somewhat sleepy. it's like the ballmer peak - a certain level of intoxication makes some people really good coders. another level makes them really good authors. i'd imagine it's the same with sleepiness in a way.
a certain level of eepy and the words flow from my mind, into my fingers, into the keyboard, onto the screen. it's a volatile state, sadly. forget not, i am sleepy. and i need to go to bed. and i will once i finish this post.
it's not easily reproducible - well, no, it is, but it's difficult to manage. i can't become sleepy with the same ease as someone could get tipsy, in theory. or maybe it is with the same ease, but time being the limiting factor.
furthermore, the writing i'm doing in that state is very much a stream. i can start it, and it'll flow. flow all the way until the end. it takes up other streams into itself, like themes get taken into account when writing. or something. bad analogy, whatever. the thing is, once the stream stops, it stops. i can't continue it easily. i can't leave something to be done later, i have to continue it. and if it's undone, i guess i can make something new. but that something new is something new. and it might end up unfinished.
...as i was writing this, this is where the stream ended. i was going into detail, the difficulty of consciously applying certain things, but i've grown too sleepy. i'll go to bed. maybe someone can make sense of this.
just rambling, anyhow.
