but do not faint

met a guy from saudi arabia last night at a bar, he came here with his sister so she could have surgery. he told me “i love your country for healing my sister. there are many wonderful things here, but there’s one thing you do not have. mercy” and then he asked if that was a boston thing or an overall american quality

I love that heidi klum, international super model and tv personality, was like “I’m going to be a worm for halloween” and went for the most horrifying hyper realistic version possible and was quoted saying (in said worm outfit) ‘I want to put a smile on peoples faces’. ma’am I am gagging but I love that for u

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

“how could you be so stupid” well you know what. its really not that hard