I know that I know nothing

HERE COME DAT BOI

1) Please do not out anyone (even if you “think you are doing them a favor.” Trust me when I say you aren’t) and make sure you don’t accidentally do so.

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

and why tf shouldn't aro, ace and pan people be a part of it

that doesn't make any sense

like do people just tell themselves "hey, we have enough shit to deal with already so let's start invalidating other parts of the community, yeah, that helps a lot, we'll be taken so seriously if we fight over stupid shit instead of fighting for equality"

“Men are trash” and any variation is also sexist, but “kill all men” is just straight up disgusting, and I see it way too much on this website.

So you’ve tried typing by the letters and by the cognitive functions. Now you’re looking to verify your typing makes sense. What are some key attritubes you should be looking for…?

A real entp is…

Not super Extraverted. Like enfps, their first function isn’t about people, it’s about possibilities.

Able to be mistyped as an Extraverted thinker. They like to ‘think’ out loud, or so it seems. They’re actually just showing off. Alternatively, you’re hearing their Ne. You’ll be able tell the difference if you ask them for their opinion and then realise how much quieter they are.

Afraid of upsetting people. Can be easily manipulated on occasion.

Not sure of what they’re feeling. Able to be convinced they’re feeling anything.

Able to be excited about anything. Tell them they’d make a good doctor and watch them plan their lives as a doctor.

Usually highly intelligent.

Involved in way too many things at once.

Probably stressed because of all the things they’re doing.

Accidentally flirting with everyone. They love banter, so it doesn’t mean they actually like the person they’re flirting with. Unlikely to lead someone on though because it’s obviously playful.

Bad at remembering things. Able to throw a tantrum and then forget they did it.

Annoying. Probably the most annoying of the types in that everyone finds them annoying.

A sticky beak. They have FOMO bad.

Kind hearted. Even when they’re annoying they mean well.

Liked by everyone.

Loyal.

Fond of a good bargain.

Not fussy. Happy to sleep on a bed off the side of the road.

Fussy. Just because their headphones are broken doesn’t mean they’re going to get new ones. They’re still the best headphones ever. Also, their clothes may be all over the floor, but don’t you dare put them back in the wrong spot.

Pretty happy and oblivious as kids. They often get in trouble for arguing, and then make it worse by arguing why they shouldn’t get in trouble.

Rational. They like weighing up pros and cons and using reason to determine the best cause of action (Ti)

Romantic. Entps see so many possibilities and prefer not to filter their dreams through logic. You’ll find that your entp friend probably has hundreds of romantic dreams they’re keeping to themselves, whether it’s running a farm or ruling the world.

Kind of lonely. Like enfps, most people like them, but they don’t really have any close friends.

A dangerous driver. They like to speed and will justify their speeding. Just for my husband’s sake, I would like to point out that it’s not just him. I have another entp friend who likes to drive at 200km/h on Freeways, and another who ruins a car every other month. I actually can’t believe all entps aren’t dead because of their bad driving.

Sadly, a natural lawyer. They will argue about anything as if they’re in a court of law, even personal matters.

Probably not aware that they’re lonely.

Blunt without realising it. May really upset you without trying.

Often not aware of people being mean to them. People often mistakenly think they’re patient when they are just oblivious.

Oblivious. Probably won’t notice they upset you. You’ll need to tell them. They will try to argue it away, so you’ll need to be forthright. When they finally understand how upset you were they’ll probably cry. Tertiary Fe being triggered brings on tears.

Usually pretty easy to calm down if they are stressed or crying. Since they’re still rationals they like advice when they’re upset.

Over defensive. Entps are often oblivious when people are mean to them, but they’re also not good at telling when you’re NOT being mean to them. This leads them to take offence at random things and be overly defensive about it because they feel attacked.

Messy and disorganised. Usually clean. Likely to obsessively organise one drawer when stressed, ignoring the rest of their messy house (inferior Si).

Good at taking constructive criticism. Or just criticism. Entps genuinely want to grow personally.

Argumentative. But more in a bickering kind of style, in that they just LOVE arguing about anything for no good reason. Tip: if an entp starts arguing over something stupid with you, tell them they’re arguing. They will argue they’re not and won’t even realise the irony for a good five minutes. 😂

Usually quiet.

LOUD. there is no in-between for an entp. They get louder as they get more excited and happy.

Always working on some strange puzzle.

Sometimes creating weird puzzles. For example, my husband went through a stage where everything he would put in the calendar was in some code. The only problem was when he forgot one or two of them I had no clue what he had meant either. (and when I say code, it was like, ‘I have the dentist on Monday. The dentist’s name is Gordon, like the tank engine, and Gordon the tank engine is green. Green reminds me of lettuce, which is in the story of rapunzel. So imma write down rapunzel).

Soft. Even if they don’t cry in public, they might tear up easily.

Big criers.

A type that naturally seems to have a bit of adhd.

A good judge of character. Sometimes they can be over optimistic though, because they really want to like everyone.

Suddenly overwhelmed. Entps will take on more and more AND MORE until… MELT DOWN. This looks like tears and losing track of everything all at once. May bring about spectacular failure if damage control doesn’t occur quickly.

Things an entp might say…

'that’s a cute dog. I’d like to get a dog one day. What kind of dog should I get? I don’t know, I don’t know any dog breeds. I think I’d name it Harold though. Only if it was a boy. Otherwise it would be Charlie…’ or any other stream of consciousness monologue (Ne)

Anything that baits you into a debate. Eg, 'isn’t it great how Trump wants to build a wall?’

Anything that baits you into bickering. Eg, 'I didn’t say that’.

'I don’t know’, with regards to their opinion or feelings. This is a bad sign if it is followed by a pause, because it means they do know, they just don’t want to tell you. If they really don’t know it will be followed by a list of potential reasons.

'You say I annoyed you at precisely 2.15 pm. If this is the case, then why did you laugh at my joke at 2.16pm?’ or any other legal speak during a personal argument.

'Do you know Hitler introduced a similar law to the one I’m breaking now? This law is evil and I don’t have to follow it for that reason’ or similar.

An extremely ambitious ambition such as, 'one day I’ll own the moon’

Anything sad said cheerfully. For example, my husband once cheerfully told me about his friend in grade five. He finished with, 'anyway, he’s dead now’.

A story that they’ve started half way through. They forgot the first half was in their head.

Anything annoying.

Something sweet with heart eyes.

I am a typical <insert your MBTI> so of course I <predictive text until a full sentence>.

Mod Contra:

I’m listening to my cousin going on about Fortnite. The kid adores the game and is talking about the battle pass and he how hopes to get it later on today.

My mum just flatly says she doesn’t know what that means and has told him to hurry up as they go through the door, not giving my cousin any wiggle room to explain what it means. Fortnite is special to him, he wants to talk about it, he wants to engage but how can he when at that moment, the adult he’s talking to shuts him down?

Why can’t some people just take a damn minute to listen, REALLY listen to what kids are saying? He’ll now sit in the car in complete silence because his aunt isn’t interested in what he likes.

“I’m not sure what that is, can you explain it to me?”

My niece couldn’t stop talking and asking me questions and my mind was beginning to become very blurry and my ears were hurting. I told her, very simply :

“I’m very very tired right now, but I’d love to talk about it another time.”.

And she got it. She did her own thing and I was able to rest my mind a bit. 

She’s usually very chatty and loud, but since I showed her respect and paid attention to what she said earlier, since I didn’t judge her for being “chatty” or “clumsy” or anything like that, she was more inclined to understand my troubles and to let me rest.

The way you engage children will shape the person they’ll become. It’s important to let them know that what they say, no matter how small it is, matter. 

INTP: really? how did you know?

ISFP: I just can sense it

INTP: Hm, I don’t believe that

ISFP: huh? Why?