Studying Through Executive Dysfunction

Ok so we’ve all heard of tips involving lists, make a list of everything you need to do, cross it out when you’re done, etc.

Well recently next to each item on my list, I wrote down how to start that task. This can be as simple as “get out my notebook and the assignment” or a little more detailed like “open chemistry textbook to page 235 and review the section on gibbs free energy”

This is an article without the extension. See that messy format, and how the actual article content only takes up a fraction of the page? It's no wonder it took me 7 hours to write that paper.

i’ve had a few conversations with fellow attention-deficit friends lately, about how to read + retain information. here are some tips that i have learned:

don’t be afraid to skim. skimming for information is not “fake reading.” you’re still getting the main idea. sometimes i find it takes skimming a page 3-4 times before i’m ready to either 1) actually slow down and read the page or 2) decide that whatever it is (maybe a detailed description of a wallpaper pattern, something not essential to understanding the text) has been retained enough and i can move on to the next page/section.

for non-fiction essays, medical and legal information, and theory: the main idea is at the beginning and the end. if you like it and/or understand it, then read the middle bits to learn more of the “how” and “why.”

don’t be afraid to only read something partway. you’re still getting new information. you’re still getting new information! even if you don’t read a book cover to cover! you can decide “you know what, i get the point” and then skim the rest. or just chuck the book behind the couch and never look at it again

don’t be afraid to look up wikipedia summaries, reviews and responses. i was always told that cliffnotes / wikipedia was “cheating” so i was afraid of looking those up, and would instead falter somewhere around page 10 of a book, and not get any information at all. look. it’s ok to “spoil” a book. (honestly, if it weren’t for detailed plot descriptions, i wouldn’t have been able to get all the way through jane eyre, or decide that i didn’t have to to finish the last 1/3 of 100 years of solitude.)

it’s OK to spoil anything! do you know how substantially my life got better after i realized i could look up the plot summary to ANY movie, tv show or documentary? allowing me to actually pay attention for the next 40-60 minutes so i could watch how the plot points happen??

don’t be afraid to read multiple things at once! i am queen of the “stack of books” / stack of magazines / many open tabs reading technique. if you get restless halfway through a paragraph, just bounce to something else. know that you will return. know that you will retain the info eventually.

if you doodle while reading or listening to something, or write down words / quotes that stick out to you, it can help you retain information! this is something i have been doing since i was in elementary school, and i used to get comments about it from teachers or classmates. but for me, retaining information is connected to a kinetic + visual understanding. so when i pair an action (moving pen on paper) with a visual (doodle / written-out keywords) then it clicks a lot more than if i had “just” read and/or listened to something.

another tip for kinetic learners: feel free to pace around the house, read upside down, read while cooking dinner, read while doing yoga poses. you don’t have to sit down to read!

related to those last two points: everyone has different kinds of learning styles. for me, and a lot of ADD and ADD-adjacent people i’ve talked to, we have issues with retaining purely auditory information. so the best way to cope with that is to always turn on captions, or to find transcripts for podcasts / documentaries when possible… or to take your own handwritten notes if you’re listening to a lecture where you really want to retain the info. or! maybe you’re someone who struggles with retaining info through strictly written/visual info. then you’d flip it around, and stop and read passages out loud to retain it more; or listen to podcasts, youtubes, radio shows, etc, that explain the information. for scientific concepts, i find it REALLY difficult to wrap my mind around if i’m just reading about it, and i often have to stop and look up videos on youtube to understand. and that’s OK! all of this is OK. none of it is “cheating.”

and if you don’t retain every bit of information that you set out to understand… it’s OK. it’s really, really OK. we are not androids. we cannot retain and understand every single thing. if you’re struggling with something and it’s causing you pain, you can just let it go, and move on to something else. maybe one day, you will return to the concept that you were struggling with, and it will suddenly click and make sense. (or maybe it won’t! someone out there understands it! it’ll be your task to understand & convey something else!)

–

for years and years after graduating college, i was in a rut. i found that my fear of not reading books “perfectly” or “correctly” or “neurotypically” kept me from reading books… for years. literally years. it’s so silly. it’s just a mind trap. 

I have seen a lot of posts on here talking about individual extensions for chrome to help people, but I haven’t seen a place where they’re compiled together. So here you are! font/text

no caps - Makes everything lower case

Open Dyslexic: changes the font to Open Dyslexic and makes it larger. Personal favourite.

Dyslexie: changes the font to dyslexie and allows change to font size and colour (blue). Can be turned off. (Doesn’t seem to work on facebook)

Font Changer: Allows you to change the font on specific website or on everything using a Google Font. I believe you can also upload your own, if there’s a specific font you need.

BeeLine Reader: Uses a gradient so your eye follows along one line to the next

overlays/colour change

Color Overlay - Irlen Filter for Chromebook: Puts a coloured overlay over the screen. can choose colour and opacity. 

Sunglasses: Tints the screen grey to reduce contrast

Desaturate: Removes all colour and makes everything a greyscale

High Contrast: Change contrast or invert colour scheme

Deluminate: Similar to High Contrast, but tries to keep photos in tact

G.lux: Makes the colour of the display change depending on the time of day (also cuts down on blue light so it’s easier to fall asleep)

reduce visual distraction

Readability: Can change things such as margins, colours, etc… as well as reduce visual business

Ad Block Plus: blocks ads. What more needs to be said?

FlashControl: Stops flash animations running by themselves

Hide GIFS: Allows you to keep GIFS from displaying

Text Mode: Loads pages in black/white, covers images, with text only.

audio

SpeakIt!: Reads small section of highlighted text aloud

Chrome Speak: Reads small section of highlighted text aloud

Read the entire question twice to look for tricky wording. If you’re allowed to write on it circle or underline words like NOT or EXCEPT or other things your brain might skip over. This will make it less likely you’ll skip over them.

Read all the answers before answering. Sometimes the wrong answers are so stupid you don’t even have to work out the problem or try to remember the thing.

If the entire test is about the same subject (Colonial America for example) answers might be found in previous questions. Like question #6 might ask who wrote Common Sense. You might remember that back in question one it said “In Common Sense by Thomas Paine” and there’s your answer. This happens a lot more often than you’d think.

If you don’t know the answer cross out the answers you know are incorrect. If there are four answers but you know one of them is wrong your odds of guessing right just went up from 25% to 33%. If you can eliminate two answers then you have a 50/50 chance of getting it right.

If you can’t eliminate any answers at all guess C. The placement of correct answers isn’t completely random and C is the answer slightly more often than other answers. If you guess randomly your odds of getting the answer right actually goes down.

Read study guides and take practice tests. Actually read them. Especially if they’re written by the same person who wrote the test you’ll be taking. You’ll be more likely to pick up on their quirks and what kind of trick questions they write if you use the study material. You’ll also know what to study and what to leave.

For sections where there’s a list of words you have to match to definitions read the words first. You’re probably more likely to know the definition of a word then the word that goes with a definition. (or time period or math method or whatever). Answer the ones you know and leave the ones you don’t until you’re completely done with that section. Then look at your remaining words and definitions and match them to the ones that sound the least ridiculous.

Don’t take a test on an empty stomach unless you’re fasting for religious reasons. I don’t care if you haven’t eaten breakfast in twenty years. You’re gonna eat something before you take that test.

If there are a few answers that are pretty similar in form (such as different only by a decimal place, or equations in the same format but with different coefficients) and then an answer or two that are very different, you can generally rule out the very different answer(s).

However, if there are a couple answers that are very close to each other except for a margin of numerical error, such as 45 and 46, and then some others that are reasonably far apart, you can often rule out the close-together answers.

Unlike many of the tips above, these even work on super-standardized tests like the SAT and APs. Combining these (and getting the hang of which rule to use - practice tests help with this) can get you a decent score on many math tests without ever even reading the questions.

1) When did Napoleon cross the Delaware?

a) 1724

b) 1846

c) 1824

d) 1624

e) 1902

Applying tip 1, we see that answers a, c, and d are in the same format, but b and e are quite different.  That means that probably answers b and e can be ruled out.  So now even though you presumably have no idea what the actual answer is, you’ve now gone from a 20% chance of a right answer to a 60% chance.

2) When did humans make First Contact with Kashyyyk?

a) 3087

b) 3072

c) 3086

d) 3103

Applying tip 2, we see that answers a and c are within rounding error.  Your teacher is probably not enough of a dick to do that to you, so we can rule out a and c.  (And there are other reasons why this works on standardized tests despite them being, indeed, dicks.)  Now you can be pretty sure we make first contact with the Wookiees in either 3072 or 3103.

The entire concept of writing “regularly” like every day or every week is… just not realistic. 

So, instead, i just binge write! I can do like 20 pages in a day and then nothing for weeks. One week I had a deadline and I wrote 178 pages that week. It’s better to make long-term deadlines like “I will finish this book in 5 months.  I will write 100 pages of it this month” and then relish ur time laying around and binge like a bunch of pages in a sitting.

Also!! I put a lot of emphasis on “writing when inspiration strikes”. Like you know how sometimes you’re out in the world and you’re like “oh man i have a good idea. Like.. whip out your phone and do an outline and just jot down your thoughts in an organized way. That way when you next sit down to binge write, you have reference material to help you power through.  If your executive dysfunction isn’t super hardcore/you have the time, you can even write whole pages in the notes section.  I also like to write late at night. I only write in the daytime during deadlines. I get my best natural writing out at 1-3am and there is nothing anyone can do about that so its best to just find the time writing comes easiest to you and only (mostly) do it then!!I also like to create moods with other media. I watched the film Interstellar 8 times while writing The Weight of the Stars. I also create playlists that i listen to Before my writing. I find that listening to music at the same time is too much of a distraction so I force feed myself media (generally before a deadline when i can’t rely on inspiration writing and have to Force the words out) for a while, then sit in complete silence and write with whatever it was i was watching/listening to, echoing in my head. 

You should also figure out a writing style that comes easy to you. I literally just…can’t write regular chapters. I got so much shit from fellow people trying to get published on here when I was like “im just gonna submit this book in a series of posts”. Like more than 8 people were like “that style is unprofessional” and I was like “yeah thats the only style my ADHD will allow me to write in, so like, im going to do my best with it.” and at the end of the day, writing in a style that comes naturally to you works better than forcing yourself to write in styles that dont come as easilly to you (unless you’re trying to teach yourself new skills, in which case, persevere!!!)I also like to have my own passages read back to myself, just so I can hear the rhythm of my own words. I downloaded a text to speech app for my phone and sometimes when I’m settling in to write, I’ll make it read the last few pages back to me so I can quickly get into the headspace of the world I’m making.But the most important thing is not!! to get down on yourself!!! making art is supposed to make you happy. Just because you can’t do writing like neurotypical people do doesn't mean you can’t figure out a schedule that works better for your ADHD and wind up with the same amount of content at the end of the day. 

There is no shame in procrastinating for 3 months and then writing 200 pages in one month when u have a 4-month deadline. So many of my writing friends from my past used to ride my ass about not doing nanowrimo well and succeeding or writing 1,200 words a day or being able to brag that I hit wordcount but 4 years later im literally the only one of us with an agent and a book on shelves. So who is riding who now?  whO IS RIDING WHO NOW JENNIFER?

Put emphasis on Finishing than on anything else. AIts easier to edit than to write tbh. However you write, as long as you finish it, you’ll be fine. <3

at the time, i hadn’t read any book assigned to me. ever. it wasn’t that i didn’t like to read. i loved reading. but homework took place in a function of my brain that i couldn’t access. i would sit in libraries or at my desk and just. not do my homework. i spent hours like this, days like this, years like this. just not doing what was assigned to me, no matter the consequences, no matter how badly i wanted to be doing it. i just wouldn’t. and i wouldn’t go to class because i didn’t want to deal with the fact i didn’t do the homework. and then i wouldn’t get the homework. so i didn’t do it.

i remember realizing while i was doing college applications that i had actually, real-life fucked up. that it was permanent, what i had done. that i had a C- of an average and no future to look rosy at. and i still couldn’t make myself do things. i tried to submit applications only to realize i’d shoved off the date to the very last moment. and i was fucked.

it takes me three years and two transfers and three new starts before i am actually real-life trained how to study, how to read, how to enjoy being assigned things. 

and i watch parents of my students yell at students for being the same person i was six years ago: screaming at an A-, confused at skipped classes, punishing missed homework. and these students don’t have an answer. they just don’t do things. even if they want to. and they look at me, confused and defeated and without an answer for their parents. “i just can’t,” i hear a lot, and i understand.

parents don’t like “executive dysfunction” as a reason. “anxiety” and “depression” are often misdiagnosed as “procrastinating” and “lazy”. kids just learn they’re like this. that they’re always going to be. that it’s their fault, permanently. they are surrounded by books they didn’t read. and it doesn’t feel good. it feels like suffocating.

the truth is, i wanted to write a tip sheet that went with this post but didn’t have the focus for it for a few days. it is really challenging for me to talk about what i learned, because i had to learn so fucking much before i was able to handle my shit. and i still don’t always handle it. no matter how many of these lists i make, there’s always going to be something new i learn or need.

everything i do, everything that helps? it helps me. it isn’t always certain, it isn’t always things everyone has access to. my mental illnesses and how they influence me are mine and as a result, a lot of what helps me is specific to my experiences. i’ve written a few posts about like, how to do schoolwork etc. as someone with mental illness, but this is just… stuff that helped me even start doing all that homework. i just want to say if you read this and try everything and none of it works? we have different bodies and brains. don’t give up.

so, “how the fuck.”

first of all, that part where i said 3 years and 2 transfers? that wasn’t a joke. through the entire 3 years, i was trying to recover. by the end of 3 years, i was recovered enough that i had good coping mechanisms and was ready to keep recovering as i moved forwards. i was not healed. but i did see a therapist and get my *official diagnosis* and like. have enough of a base of mental health that i could start focusing on academics. the truth of the matter is, if you’re just trying to fucking survive, you’re not ever going to have enough executive function to like. do excellently. you can’t. you’re a human person and if you’re fighting a mental illness, it takes a ton of energy. so give yourself a break.

there is such a thing as just bein’ lazy. how do you know if it’s “executive dysfunction” instead? bein’ lazy doesn’t make you feel bad. it might make you feel guilty, but it doesn’t make you feel bad. Exec. dysfunction feels like there’s a goblin in your stomach and your limbs are trapped in barbed wire and your brain is full of electric cotton. it feels physically uncomfortable, and what you end up doing instead of what you want to do is something you don’t want to be doing. when it kind of feels like you’re trapped? like you don’t even want to be distracted but you are? when watching netflix or whatever makes you feel sick? that’s my pal executive dysfunction. 

a basic schedule fucking works and i hate that, i hate that “eat well and get sleep!!!!!” is actually true; but i have found that when my energy level is constant, i have the energy for schoolwork. again, if your body isn’t healthy, your mind can’t spend the extra effort on academics. so like. get one. it sucks. i know it sucks. at one point i needed two hours of exercise plus half a sleeping tab before i could go to sleep. my schedule for the day didn’t have enough time for food, so i had to plan out all 3 meals for the next day, and if i missed one or it got ruined i was shit out of luck. this is a lot of fucking effort for someone who is mentally ill. that’s a ton of self-care. if you can’t do that stuff??? i totally get it. 

write things down. everything. anything. have a list for literally every single small thing you might need to do. i had a rule that i have to “touch” at least half my list. it’s okay if you don’t finish the list. it’s okay if you don’t finish the thing you touched. but touch it.

see a therapist if you can. yes, it’s great if you can talk to your friends, but your friends should be friends and not your therapists. therapists have a degree for a reason. most colleges offer a free therapist. a lot of cities have group meetings or community meetings for mental health. look it up and take it seriously. also, just because your first therapist “doesn’t work” doesn’t mean none will. i know someone who it took her 23 therapists before she found one that really helped her. i had success on my first therapist. this doesn’t mean my friend was more unhealthy or i was less mentally ill; it was just our personalities and where we were in our recovery - i entered therapy basically saying “i’m fucking tired of this and at this point will do anything to end it”, she was forced into it from a young age and found it difficult to trust therapists. both of us are happier now!

don’t… trust tumblr. i know this is ironic bc this is a post i’m asking you to trust but don’t trust tumblr. one post like the one above might help you figure out “oh i have that symptom” but it does not mean you have that disorder. i’m not saying “don’t self-diagnose” i’m saying, do your research. executive dysfunction sucks but it comes from a lot of different mental illnesses. for a long time i thought it was because i have depression. it’s also because i have adhd. i didn’t realize. this is also part of getting help - your conditions might be more complicated than you realize, because you’re too close to the situation. just… think about it like. if you have a fever, you go onto webmd. just bc webmd tells you that you’ve got a second brain doesn’t mean you do - if you add in your other symptoms, if you see a doctor, if you keep track of what helps and doesn’t - it might turn out that fever was actually showing that you have two hearts instead. think of tumblr as a good resource for recognizing potential problems, but not an accurate diagnostic machine. use google scholar. look things up.

try fucking anything and everything. yoga? i actually don’t mind it but i don’t like it as a workout bc it hurts my hands. kale shakes? uh i guess it counts as breakfast. yes, it’s annoying and terrible sometimes. but try it. never stop looking for things to try. it gives you hope, and we live off of hope.

sublimation is the most effective coping mechanism. sublimation is the act of taking a negative emotion or situation and creating something from it. be it ugly art or a poetry blog who gives out unasked for advice on mental health or cooking or acting - find something you can put it “into”. and put it there. stop focusing on perfection and focus on just…. getting it out.

find small projects that make you feel good. a lot of people talk about ‘oh once you’ve started something it works!’ but i mean. find a project that is just for you. like reading the great gatsby. it was a small portion of my day, it wasn’t mentally taxing, it was just. something for me to read once in a while. and finishing it feels good.

starting is always the hardest part. bribery helps. extortion helps. keyboard smashing helps. but start.

recognize what’s helping you and what’s hurting you. yeah, partying might be a lot of fun. but if it’s become a source of anxiety and shame and uncontrolled behavior, it’s not helping. if you’re in the wrong degree program, no amount of good organization will help you. if your heart isn’t in it, your brain won’t be. just because someone swears by bullet journals doesn’t mean that’s how your brain works. figure out how you organize, how much social interaction you need, and what you need to give up to feel balanced and healthy. sometimes the answers surprise you.

don’t skip class just don’t literally so many things are solved when you show up to class, even if you, like me, are the kind of person that hates confrontation and has avoidant anxiety.

i fucking hate working out in a gym how do human beings do that? i really like programs like blogilates or dancing or that kind of workout. yes, i know, i know, how many people tell you “oh working out helps!!!!!” okay cool jan but i can’t get out of bed so step one, failed. but if you don’t have this idea you’re “working out” it feels better and less annoying to show up to. and it does help energy levels and sleep. a lot of colleges have free fitness classes. take them. meet people. 

speaking of which, join clubs. try out for clubs. apply for workstudies. meeting people helps and having a community helps.

i have a “cut the shit” place. a place where i don’t let any distractions in. i also don’t use my bed for anything but sleep. this sounds really organized but i often have to move my bed around and change my “cut the shit” place. 

i personally cannot have free time. if i have free time, i find myself slacking because the idea “i can wait” bangs around in my head. i hyper-schedule myself because if i only have 15 minutes between classes, i’m constantly in a state i just need to get stuff done. you know how you procrastinate until the anxiety gets so strong u gotta just do it? yeah. i don’t give myself time to procrastinate. tbh this isn’t healthy but i used anxiety to balance out my depression. why not use the shitty hand ive been dealt to my benefit. i knew my ocd wanted things to be perfect, but my depression didn’t care. so like. use ocd’s panic to start something, use depression to make sure i don’t obsess about it. it’s kind of like using one poison to cancel out another and it has gone badly before, i just worked until i got good at it.

for some reason, when i realized “it has to get done whether or not i start it now or later” my life got a lot easier. idk why this like. cancelled a lot of procrastination. but realizing i need to do it now bc it will get done and i don’t want to be awake until 6AM doing it…. helped. again, this was having a really tight schedule. but another part of it is having a task/situation that i hated the idea of even more, which worked.

“i can’t fucking get out of bed you bitch”. yeah me neither some days. that’s why i got a note from the doctor confirming a medical condition. i also constantly plan for when this happens. you know that rush of really organized behaviors at the start of the year? i work ahead of myself so when i eventually shut down, i don’t fall as far behind. i also have noticed that the days i take off can make it worse, not better. so i have like. a rule. i spend 1 hour out of bed. that’s enough time for me to shower, get dressed, and put on makeup. a lot of days, that’s enough inertia that i keep moving. some days i literally. just sit on the floor for an hour and then go back to fucking bed. that’s okay.

“no for real your hour rule doesn’t work when i can’t leave my bed” honestly get a plant, a fish, a dog, something living you feel responsible for. i can’t take care of myself. i know that. but i will feel bad if i don’t take care of the things im responsible for. bad enough that i get out of bed. i will say that if your depression + mental illness is so bad that you will let a fish/other living animal die - you need outside help and no tumblr listicle will help you. i don’t mean that to be mean, i don’t mean that to be harsh or like “lmao i can’t help you.” i mean that as someone who has been there, who was so completely unresponsive and shut down that i couldn’t. fucking care. about anything. i really relied on the support i was given. my friends + family picked up the slack i was dragging and basically carried me and my helpless little body until it passed. there’s no shame in that. but there is a point that you need to recognize: i’m not capable of doing this on my own. reach out. you’d be surprised how many people reach up.

you will survive it. like …. more than you realize. and each time you do, each time you walk out of it, each time you hit the bottom? it gets easier. i know everyone says that in a feathery tone, this wispy promise but like. it does? just in the same way the first time you rode a bike you needed help and couldn’t do it without training wheels. just like how it took you a while to learn how to balance. how you can still fall down on your bike if something sudden happens, how sometimes even professional bikers need help. but it does get easier. i’ve been at the bottom so much that if we’re following my bike metaphor i am at the point i’m practically doing stunts on that thing.

do. the. research. i already said it but i’ll say it again. do it. look up what helps. research dbt/cbt. don’t just follow this list, follow self-help books and youtube videos and anything that promises it could help. the worst situation is that you need a different tactic. but more commonly, even 1 little bit of help you get …. is help. and that makes it worth it. 

first of all, and probably most importantly, make that paper about something you actually give a shit about. if you can write an essay on how long shakespeare’s dick is when you’re talking to your friends, that’s a good topic. don’t choose something u don’t care about, you will Want To Die

“okay but the only topics are ones i don’t care about” talk 2 ur teacher 99% of the time if you’re like “here’s a well-thought-out thesis can i talk about this instead” they’re like “sure lmao i just couldn’t think of other paper topics to suggest”

“they said no” cool find the one u hate the least and try to tie it into something u like. for example i really hated this stupid paper i had to write about a stupid book so i ended up writing about the food inside the book and whether or not it was a historically accurate depiction of food. turns out i fucking love talking about food. i also remade some of the old recipes and brought them in as part of the presentation of my project and people went fuckken nuts bc BREAD. basically i thought about “what motivates me? uh food” and followed that. it was a 45-page book about bread and i looked like a really good student when really i just love bread (somewhere, oprah smiles over me)

the 20-pagers are the ones you Actually Cannot Do the night before. i know we all got real fuckken cocky back in hs when we learned how to do 5 pages in one night w/out trying too hard but 1. as a teacher now i can tell u for sure that teachers do know you rushed it, we just Don’t Care bc We’re Not Paid Enough and 2. twenty pages is not the same thing. you need to actually take the time to do it. this is the actual version of “you’re not in hs anymore” DONT lie to yourself and think “it’s fine i’ll do it in one day” you will !! Regret it!!!! 

“raquel. raquel. listen to me. do you actually believe i’m capable of time management. raquel i have depression i barely manage to exist.” same. but the truth is that when i started like?? actually following the rules of timelines and taking my time etc it actually really helps mental illness. you don’t feel pressured all the time by a deadline, so your anxiety chills a little bit. small progress being acceptable means that on depression days, you don’t have to worry you’re fucking it all up. when it’s 15 minutes every day (even if it’s only 1 word a day) it feels a lot better.

ask the teacher what timeline they’d recommend. they actually Know.

always ask if it’s informal or formal (if you can use “I” statements or not). informal essays can rely on personal feelings and are so much easier and trust me if you find out on the day it’s due that you could have written 12 pages about your feelings instead of 12 pages of research, you will Be Very Upset

i lie to myself all the time and move the deadline up. i write it in my agenda as at least 2 days before it’s due. surprise!!! i tricked u, self!!! you can’t procrastinate!! 

agendas/planners need to be what actually works for you. i liked to prioritize w/colors + keep lists. i really love crossing things off lists. it’s like… a balm. for me, i usually say i have to finish the first 2 things, start the 3rd thing, and “touch” at least half the list. if i finish the whole list i get a prize. also i get to cross off everything which is so satisfying i’m sure it’s someone’s idea of a rush. there’s so many “how to” documents on these that i won’t get into it but frankly?? if you don’t write it down you will not remember it. “yes i will” no you won’t greg. just do it. write it down. write it where u can see it. not there, greg. greg, somewhere good. my friend is smart af and uses a post-it on her laptop. that doesn’t work for me bc i can just? use my hand to cover the anxiety? so choose somewhere good greg.

nervous system, skeleton, meat, skin. nervous system is the thesis. skeleton is quotes/data. meat is the analysis of that data. skin is the fancy transitions + beautification.  meat goes on both sides of bone, and skin goes all around. nervous system has to touch everything. do what your teachers have been begging u to do since 3rd grade and start w/an outline. do this while you read/research. i usually have a starter thesis like “lady macbeth is a feminist ICON” then take the quotes i think fit. but if while you’re reading u realize u wanna talk about the use of feminine language and how shakespeare parallels daintiness w/sharpness, u still have a bunch of quotes you can use or not use. this works also w/research papers. just pull what u think is something u wanna talk about. copy-paste it but leave a link to where u got it. then put a bullet point under that says roughly why u mention it

if you just write the outline like you’re keeping notes to yourself you’d be amazed how quickly you write the essay bc we get stuck in academic language but it’s easier to translate “this is why bees are the #bomb” into a paragraph. i mean you just rewrite your notes to yourself in academic speech. “The above passage illustrates the growing necessity of pollinators such as bees in an agricultural environment.”

keep track of your sources + label them. don’t just write “(SOURCE)” instead if you’re using multiple sources use the lazygirl way which is (SA1) or whatever shorthand u have for each source. then when you need to finish your sources you go to your little source document, find the one labelled SA1 and then “Find+replace” w/the actual source.

integrate quotes so it reads w/clarity which means don’t do this but if you’re running late on it and don’t have time to look up the quote u want to fit this situation, technically you can “use any” word you want (56). so yeah “there is” a moral question about it but you “can” make up quotes (79, 90). don’t “actually” do this unless you’re seriously in a crunch. which u shouldn’t be, bc u managed ur time, right?

running late part 2 (which again would never happen bc you followed my advice and made a little time table for yourself but anyway if it does somehow magically happen) i really recommend using school computers to do your work. ur surrounded by people who will hold u accountable + u will focus

running late pt3 on the day of it being due, around 5 PM, be honest w/yourself and see where you are. if you’re like “it needs 2 more hours” okay. but if you’re like “this is……… not started” email the teacher. they’ll be so much more receptive the earlier you do this in the process. it looks like “i’m genuinely struggling and i hope to finish this on time but i’m worried i won’t” instead of “i started this at 11:58PM and am asking for an extension”. please also just… be honest? 

“my teacher won’t accept late work!” they all say that, he probably will, particularly if you have a note from the school therapist being like “lmao she’s got so many mental illnesses idek how to help her”

“no he really doesn’t, he doesn’t care” you can file for disability if you have mental illness, and, in fact, you should if it’s something that often stops you from completing work on time. i didn’t bc i found that it just let me procrastinate for a longer time, but having that on file means you can go to the dean.

“no!!! raquel you’re not listening i have 2 pages and he doesn’t take late work!!!!!!!!!”  okay. yeah that’s bad. but nerves, skeleton, meat, skin. what is it that you’re struggling with? is it that your can’t find any quotes to back up your thesis? impossible, tbh, you need to be more willing to purposefully misuse quotes (don’t do that). but the better option is to just change the thesis. 

“i don’t even have that!!” did you. do the reading? if you even just watched the movie, you probably have an opinion on something even if it’s “this is bad.” you can use that. use why you didn’t like it to write a hate-fueled examination on how whiny the main character is and why u think the author is trying to point out how miserable cis white boys are to deal with. 

“i don’t have enough sources!!!” go to wikipedia’s page about it and look @ the sources. try to like actually read some if you have time but frankly in a hurry a student (me) might be compelled to just slap the source in there. 

“how the fuck do i analyze this”. u know how ppl agonize over why an actor breathed in a scene. melt into that kind of thinking. you can literally force the words to mean whatever you want. i’ve talked about word choice so specific that i based a 12-page essay on three separate uses of the words “my dear”. i talked about the possessive “my” and how it developed for like 5 of those pages. and always repeat the thesis like a million times. after every analysis you should talk about how it links to the thesis. that is like a free 3 sentences every paragraph.

“i did all that and it’s still 3 pages too short” quick ways to Beef Him Up: definitions are great in research papers + essays bc you can talk about either word choice or like the definition of every process used in getting the data. also make the conclusion hella informative (it should answer “what does this mean moving forwards” most of the time, tie it into modern life or into the past). thicken ur intro with “here’s a quote from this guy about it and what he personally felt about acid-base titrations”, use a paragraph to talk about the history of the data/book, use a paragraph to talk about the modern reception of the data/book. also look for where you can use two words instead of one even tho like grammatically don’t do that.

worst comes to worst, brevity is the soul of wit. most teachers prefer concise over rambling and all over the place. if you choose to scoot under the page limit, tho, your writing etc needs to be exceptionally clean. frankly i’ve only done this once and it was terrifying

make computer read it aloud 2 u before u submit. “raquel….. i can’t look at it anymore”. you’re not looking @ it, you’re discovering you wrote “breath” not “breathe” and u need to change it

tutoring centers exist, i worked in one, and this is how i know they actually Help and have Good Ideas

ask about extra credit and do it tbh

“So, what you mean is…” Just a little spoonie student art.

If you are having trouble studying in the traditional way, with flashcards, or reading from the textbook and taking notes, etc. I have a suggestion for you:

I am autistic, and while I can focus on a single thing for a very long period of time, studying takes a lot out of me. It costs a lot of spoons. And that is just studying for one class. This semester I tried a new approach, inspired by my love of podcasts. Instead of reading and re-reading the textbook, or my notes, and or spending hours on making and studying flashcards, I decided to make little “podcasts” for each topic I needed to study for my classes. Here is how it works:

Skim the chapter/reading for the upcoming lecture

Go to the lecture and take notes–put stars next to things that were mentioned both in the textbook and by the professor

If you have time, skim through your notes right after class, just to solidify the ideas in your head

During your study time, use your notes to create a study podcast on the lecture topic. I usually just use the voice memo app on my iphone. If you do not have a smartphone, then you should be able to record on your computer. If you don’t have a computer, your school library should definitely have a computer with free recording software. If you only have use of a library computer, make sure to email the study podcast to yourself, and save the email. Then just open it up on whatever device you have access to and use it to study. 

When recording the podcast, if you can, make your notes more like a story that flows, instead of just one fact after another. It will help you to remember better and learn faster. 

Now, during your study time, just listen to the podcast over again instead of using a lot of time and energy reading and making flashcards and all of that. 

Some issues with the method may be auditory sensory issues. I used to have trouble listening to podcasts in general, and especially listening to a recording of my own voice. I have gotten use to listening to podcasts, and even really enjoy it, though it did take a while. I still have a little trouble with hearing my own voice in a recording, but I am slowly introducing myself to more and more of it, and that seems to help. Also, if you have a good friend or family member who is willing to record the study podcast for you, that could be helpful. You could also type it out on a computer and have the computer read it, and record that. 

I find that the study podcast method takes up a lot less spoons, and is actually a better study tool than the traditional method. I find myself remembering many more of the little facts that other students tend to forget. I also find myself putting ideas together faster and easier from one lecture to the next. It makes test-taking, which is a difficulty in and of itself, much easier. 

So let’s say you’re in the same boat I am (this is a running theme, have you noticed?) and you’ve just got, like, SO MUCH STUFF that HAS to get done YESTERDAY or you will DIE (or fail/get fired/mope). Everything needs to be done yesterday, you’re sick, and for whatever reason you are focusing on the least important stuff first. What to do!

Take a deep breath, because this is a boot camp in prioritization.

Make a 3 by 4 grid. Make it pretty big. The line above your top row goes like this: Due YESTERDAY - due TOMORROW - due LATER. Along the side, write: Takes 5 min - Takes 30 min - Takes hours - Takes DAYS.

Divide ALL your tasks into one of these squares, based on how much work you still have to do. A thank you note for a present you received two weeks ago? That takes 5 minutes and was due YESTERDAY. Put it in that square. A five page paper that’s due tomorrow? That takes an hour/hours, place it appropriately. Tomorrow’s speech you just need to rehearse? Half an hour, due TOMORROW. Do the same for ALL of your tasks

Your priority goes like this:

5 minutes due YESTERDAY

5 minutes due TOMORROW

Half-hour due YESTERDAY

Half-hour due TOMORROW

Hours due YESTERDAY

Hours due TOMORROW

5 minutes due LATER

Half-hour due LATER

Hours due LATER

DAYS due YESTERDAY

DAYS due TOMORROW

DAYS due LATER

At this point you just go down the list in each section. If something feels especially urgent, for whatever reason - a certain professor is hounding you, you’re especially worried about that speech, whatever - you can bump that up to the top of the entire list. However, going through the list like this is what I find most efficient.

Some people do like to save the 5 minute tasks for kind of a break between longer-running tasks. If that’s what you want to try, go for it! You’re the one studying here.

So that’s how to prioritize. Now, how to actually do shit? That’s where the 20/10 method comes in. It’s simple: do stuff like a stuff-doing FIEND for 20 minutes, then take a ten minute break and do whatever you want. Repeat ad infinitum. It’s how I’ve gotten through my to do list, concussed and everything.

STUDY MONDAY #4: Low Energy Study Hacks

I’m a student and I’m a spoonie. In spoon theory of disability and chronic illness, a person who is disabled and/or chronically ill has limited energy, or spoons, to get through the day. It can be caused by symptoms, such as pain, fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, and so on, experiences like sensory overload or a panic attack, or even by the requirement to modify your behavior (for autistic people - having to pass as neurotypical).

As a result, things that may seem simple, like brushing your teeth, making your bed and cooking a breakfast, can require a lot of energy. Most spoonies can only do a limited amount of things in a day and then we get so exhausted, we have to rest or even wait for the next day to get more spoons. And as you can imagine, studying when your energy sources are limited is quite tricky. This is my list of tips and tricks that might make your spoonie student life a bit easier.

1. Get some sleep

I’m putting this first because in my opinion this is the most important advice I can give you. I feel like my energy levels are very dependent on sleep quality. If I am sleep deprived, I barely have any spoons. And I’d guess it is like that for many people. So getting enough sleep should be your number one priority.

I know it might sound like “just don’t be depressed!”. I understand. I have delayed sleep phase disorder and I’ve had it all my life. Melatonin pills are the only treatment that helps me. For you it might be something simple, like turning down blue light on your smartphone and drinking calming herbal tea, or something more complex, like meds and a strict sleep schedule. Not everyone will find their solution, but many will, so don’t give up.

You should be getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep every day. Some people need less, some need much more. If you sleep for more than nine hours and still wake up feeling groggy and tired, you might need to adjust your schedule to not wake up during the REM phase (the one where you dream the most). Experiment with alarm clock time, and find a balance that allows you to wake up without sleep inertia.

And some generic advice: don’t consume caffeine six hours or less before bedtime (yes that includes black/green tea and dark chocolate!), don’t nap for longer than half an hour, keep your bedroom cool (almost cold) and clean and don’t eat a big meal an hour before bedtime.

2. Prioritize

Prioritizing is sometimes the only thing you can do when you have ten important tasks and enough energy to do just five. It starts with being honest about your abilities, as well as responsibilities, and making a realistic plan. In your to do list, the tasks should be arranged from the most important and urgent to the least important and urgent. If something can wait, it can wait - do the assignment that is due in two days.

It might also mean “neglecting” things people feel are essential. You don’t actually need to make your bed in the morning - it only helps the dust mites to breed. You don’t actually need to take a shower every single day - once every 48 hours, or even three times a week, is enough. You won’t get malnutrition if you have frozen pizza for dinner once a week - your body can manage. You can wear the same shirt for an entire week - as long as it’s clean, it’s unlikely people will judge you for it. And so on.

I’m not saying “live like a filthy animal”, but sometimes you have to cut down the amount of tasks in your daily to do list, and it’s better to choose wisely. Sometimes you have to admit you will never be an A only student, and set a goal of learning as much as possible. If you need a certain average grade, calculate how many good grades you actually need and don’t worry about others (as long as you pass). For example last semester I had two “I don’t give a damn” subjects which I barely passed, and my average was still 4.2 out of 5. Pick easy subjects when possible! It’s allowed. Get your As and Bs where you can, but don’t forget to rest and take care of yourself.

3. Make compromises

You will have some days when you will be able to do very little. You will have many such days. On those days, the most important thing is to do /something/. Just a little bit. Just one small thing you can manage. If you can only read ten pages of a book, do it! Ten less pages to read tomorrow. If you can only write two paragraphs of an essay, do it! Two paragraphs less to write tomorrow. Every tiny thing you will manage is an achievement, and it’s progress. Don’t fool yourself into thinking “that’s not enough, so I won’t do it at all”. A tiny bit of work is still work.

You will also have days when you won’t be able to study at all. If you realize that nothing you try is working, it’s okay to stop and take a break. Use such “useless” days to take care of yourself. Watch five episodes of your favorite show. Eat junk food. Stay in the shower for an hour. Talk to your friend (or maybe even to your cat). Listen to some good music. Relax! If you know you can’t do anything today, you can either be miserable about it or enjoy a tiny holiday. I know what I would choose.

4. Waste some time

When you have a lot to do, instead of panicking about it and rushing your work, slow down! Sleep an extra half an hour. Go through your morning routine as usual. Calmly examine your to do list. Prepare your study place. Take a deep breath in. Yes you just “wasted” an hour, or even more. But, you hopefully got into a calm, determined mood, and will be able to deal with stress and do your work much more effectively. Believe me, it is worth it.

5. Find low energy study methods

The best form of studying for me is making study/revision notes using many different sources of information, then reciting them. I can’t do it every day though. On some days my executive dysfunction is bad and I don’t have energy to write study notes. That’s when I use my low energy study methods.

My favorite is YouTube. Crash Course is rather brief, but good when you are unfamiliar with the subject and need an introduction and a great explanation of the basics. Khan Academy is more detailed and has lectures for many different subjects. Just searching YouTube for good videos also works sometimes. For me this is an amazing study method because it is engaging enough but passive - all I need to do is watch and listen. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than doing nothing.

Find a low energy study method that works for you and use it. It will make a huge difference on “low on spoons” days.

6. Feed your brain

Your brains favorite fuel is a simple sugar: glucose. And it needs a lot of it. Human brain consumes around 20% of all calories the body needs, and it weighs less than 10% of the total body mass. When you eat carbohydrates, your body can extract sugar directly from it. When you eat fats or proteins, your body needs to metabolize them to produce sugar. Your diet should contain all kinds of foods, and you shouldn’t eat too much carbs, especially simple carbs. HOWEVER.

When you feel tired and can’t concentrate, sometimes it’s because your glucose levels are low. If you don’t have metabolic issues like diabetes, a sugary snack can help get you back into working mode. Chocolate, fruits and sweet drinks like tea, coffee or juice are all great for giving you a quick sugar boost. Some people say even the taste of sweet in their mouth helps them concentrate and study, and chewing gum with an artificial sweetener is enough for that. So if you do this in moderation, a sugar boost is great for low energy studying. Just don’t abuse it. It loses the effect if overused.

7. Be compassionate to yourself

No matter how hard your try, sometimes life is just difficult. It’s okay. It’s okay to fail a test or an exam, it’s always a learning opportunity. It’s okay to not get the grades you wanted, it can be a totally random thing. It’s okay to miss class sometimes, everyone does it. It’s okay to take breaks, you earned them. It’s okay to ask for help, you deserve it. Measure your success by how hard you tried, not the result you got. And be kind to yourself. If you did your best (which definitely doesn’t mean exhausting yourself to a point of mental breakdown), it’s enough.