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2 years old post and people keep passing this around every April 1st. I’m flattered :D

@auro-bot @dynespark @brandxspandex

*straps 25 flapjacks to my chest* LOOKY HERE BOYS, I GOT THEM HOOTERS

@dynespark

@dynespark

@aliyah-7

@aliyah-7

@aliyah-7

Humans misinterpret Hell as an underground cavern of fire, when in reality, it’s a boiling sea floor stoked by hydrothermal vents and exposed magma.

Dante describes the Ninth circle of hell as being where traitors are crushed in a dark frozen lake, which sounds like deep sea trenches or brine pools

This post is prying open my third eye with a crowbar

The Ellis family had only built the 7-foot-tall menorah… because their sons, ages 5, 7 and 9, had asked their parents if the family could decorate their home like the neighbors did for Christmas. This is America in the 21st century.  Please reblog, even if you’re not Jewish.  Especially if you’re not Jewish.  Spread awareness and let your Jewish followers know that we’re not alone.

Eat this orange. It’s full of FuckScurvium.

@aliyah-7

Weed people and wine people are the same

I’ve never smelled a wine person from across a campus.

A wine person never stiffed me on a tip on a bill

Wine merchant never fucked my girlfriend