Kalahira be praised.

“Life, uh, uh, finds a way,” Joker… joked. His gaze had landed on the woman in question and had barely wavered since then.

“Okay, then, Lizard Man. Stand back and watch how the humans do it. — Seriously, stand back, I don’t want to have to walk around you. That’s a detour I can’t afford,” he said as he shook out his muscles, almost as if he were preparing for some violent physical confrontation. Battle.

He hobbled walked over to the lady, leaned against her table and began chatting. Though the conversation ended rather abruptly as a Turian immediately joined her. Nervous laughter shook the pilot before hands came up in a defensive posture. That did nothing to quell the insulted anger of the Turian.

“Errr, uh, Thane, buddy. Gonna need an extraction here — hey, man, no touching,” Joker spat out as what he now presumed to be the woman’s boyfriend grabbed at his collar.

Thane did indeed stand back, leaning against the counter as he watched Joker make his move. He had to admit - he was rather amused by this whole ordeal  - all because the both of them found a human woman to be aesthetically appealing. 

A Turian caught his attention for a movement - he noted that the Turian’s posture was definitely that of aggression. It took no more than a few moments of watching the Turian approach for Thane to realize what was happening. Within a second, he was up and headed for the trio, quietly recalling to himself the Turian weaknesses.

As the Turian’s claws approached Joker’s personal space, Thane stepped beside him and grabbed at the aggressor, grip tight and unyielding.

“Sir,” He started, pushing the Turian with gentle force, away from Joker. “I would suggest that you calm down. My friend here meant no harm - he was simply demonstrating human interaction.” His thumb found a pressure point on the Turian’s wrist and he barely pushed against it. 

There was a moment where she just stares at him– not intentionally, but in a dazing manner. She let his words settle, meld in her mind. She thought of all the lives she lost that day. Some of them she knew, and others… – her father. Their losses should not be in vain, and she sure as hell will make sure they haven’t died for nothing. 

And it was then she noticed something faltered in the Drell. Most of the time it was hard to tell what he was thinking, let alone what he was feeling. Tali had always seen him as a reserved, well-composed man. But there was something different, a kind of desolation that was not far from her mind.

“ Did you… lose someone, Thane? ” after she realized what    she blurted out, she quickly shook her head. Her hands flailed    in the air – an embarrassed response. “ S-Sorry! I didn’t mean    to be so direct. ”

He didn’t mean for her to catch onto his slight falter - but it seemed Tali had seen his moment of hesitation. And that made him nervous enough to avoid her face for several long, silent moments.

Really, he hated his memories sometimes - Irikah was so prominent in so many of them and when he’d slip, he’d see her face staring back at him. It took all of his strength every time not to give in.

Thane took a short breath before nodding once, the movement of Tali’s arms forcing him to look at her once more.

“ I... I don’t want to bore you with any details. But, yes. I did. ”

the problem isn’t that people think elaborate formatting is a clever disguise for bad writing; bad writing is bad writing, and no amount of formatting or purple prose will save a person if their writing leaves bad taste in your mouth

the problem is that elaborate formatting has become a hallmark of good writing to the point there is a growing bias against people who don’t format their posts. formatting tells the reader “wow this person must really care about their writing if they take the extra time to craft their replies so their paragraphs are visually stimulating to look at”.

as a result, people who don’t format their posts are brushed off and perceived as bland writers based solely on superficial merits, which leads to them feeling ignored and devalued in the community

“I’m not claiming her, per say. I’m merely making the claim, in front of you, that I get dibs at hitting on her first before you waltz over there with your dense bones and your leather vests and quote some ancient Drell proverb that gets her pregnant before I can even wobble over and smile. DIBS.“

“ Ah, of course. Though you know that what you’ve just stated is unlikely and biologically impossible... ”  He leaned back, raising a brow. 

She only lifted her head slightly, turning her attention back to him. Her glowing eyes didn’t say much–COULDN’T say much behind that tinted glass. But it’s the most subtle and minuscule movements she made that showed her gratitude.

“ I… hadn’t thought of it that way. ” her eyes met his, still fragile but slightly more confident. “ I guess I was just so focused on what I did wrong, I blamed myself for what happened. That lives were lost because of me. I don’t think that’s something I can live with. ”

He nodded slightly at her, acknowledging her subtle movement. His brows furrowed ever so slightly and he folded his hands together, looking at her and - hopefully - meeting her gaze.

“ It is easy to become lost in the wrongdoings in one’s life. The memories hurt more, so they tend to come forth much easier than ones that don’t. But please, Miss Zorah. ” He sighed.  “ Don’t blame yourself. You can live with it - You can learn from it. And the lives lost - It is better to honor them with the knowledge and experience from their deaths than to live with regret and let such experiences mean nothing. ”

“Oh, well, what a relief. Does it also help that I’m definitely Shepard’s favorite? — It’s not bragging if it’s the truth,” Joker added, more than just a little perturbed by Thane’s giggle. It was a giddy giggle as far as he was concerned. The giggle of an assassin.

The smile of an assassin. Joker really ought to keep his mouth shut. When Krogans fly.

“C’mon… Shepard didn’t invite a psychopath aboard the Normandy. — Not that the Commander’s exactly known for inviting Nobel Peace Prize winners either…”

“ Oh, trust me, Mister Moreau. You have my word that I will not so much as invade your personal space, much less hurt the Commander’s favorite. ” He shook his head at the thought - none of his employers previously ever held favorites. But then again, his previous employers only ever needed one person to take care of things.

Okay, if you didn’t include all the ragtag jobs he attempted back on Rakhana, where he definitely was the farthest thing from the boss’ favorite. Then there were no jobs where he ever had to work with anyone, much less a favorite.

“ And I’m not a psychopath - though, I’m also not known for being exceptionally kind. However, I will be on my  absolute best behavior while under Shepard’s orders. I am my employer’s weapon and tool, so it would most likely be in your best interest not to irritate the Commander. ”

He paused once more.

“Right? ———— Dibs, though. Thane, dibs. Thane, look at me—DIBS.”