i wasnt ready for that 

[Person: Lookit this fucker. Cat: *muffled meowing* Person: He’s got a cat door - *clicks light* - that he can come in. But nope! He wants to come in the door! Cat: *muffled meow* Person: You wanna come in the door? Y'wanna come in? Alright, watch this - *door squeaks open* WELCOME to the house, Joe! Come on in– Cat: *runs away, jingling* Person: You FUCKER!!]

how do you even think to do something like this

This is literally me and my friends

I FEEL LIKE I WAS JUST SENT BACK IN TIME TO FUCKING MIDDLE SCHOOL

romeo and juliet are ridiculous but i can’t really blame them because i too briefly fall in love with anyone who shows me affection

what if all the scenerios we make up in our head are actually real events happening in an alternative universe and we’re actually connecting with our alternate self’s mind

my alternate self is getting some serious dick 

LMFAOOO

“you will either feel better or worse when you wake up but it’s still better than suffering”

ME AS A WIFE