your local dumpster fire

a while ago i was secretly writing batfamily fic on my phone while out and i couldn’t remember the word vinyl for flooring so i had to ask one of my friends and i gestured to a floor nearby and was like ‘what’s the word for that stuff?’ and they told me and i went back to typing on my phone and my other friend looked over at me and full fucking clocked me by asking ‘is batman laying shit flooring?’ and i had to fucking. gather myself for a moment before quietly making eye contact and admitting ‘his neighbour is,’ and i don’t think i’ll ever recover.

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

in my head the star wars equivalent of tswift is some human woman named tay’lor spiff or something and her stans are losing their minds over theories that she’s secretly a jedi singing about the horrors of war, even though she’s from a neutral system that hasn’t seen so much as a moral panic in 50 years

the theories get even more egregious during the imperial era, with people straight up thinking she joined the rebellion in secret and is loading her songs with subliminal rebel propaganda. their main piece of evidence for this is if you play a certain song backwards, it sounds like she’s saying “freedom” in shyriiwook. the fans get really defensive if you point out she’s performed at the yearly empire day celebration thrice now and her family historically owned ewok slaves

happy 100k to this post. this awful awful post

peeling those sour rainbow gummy strips into long thin strings and putting them into cheap energy drink to create something im calling battery acid spaghetti will update once ive finished it

dont do this

it forms a dry skin at the top made of the sour pellets. not a great start.

tastes really good actually. i also feel like i am about to explode.

do not do this.

Rip to y'all, but I'm built different. Trying this tonight

Oh that is a... fascinating smell

Don't do this

Alright now I’m curious

Don't do this

World Heritage Post

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.