clown college dropout

patrick is short for Patricide and squidward is short for Squealing Edward and spongebob is short because he has little legs

Mommy's going to take you out of the freezer and leave you in a room temperature environment, ok? Awww you're already dripping condensation... There's a puddle gathering at your base, my leaky little condensation slut.

can you put that on a coaster

No. I want her to see all her little circle stains on the table...

okay thats cute and all but this table was my grandmother's so i would really appreciate it if you could stop and actually consider other peoples belongings for 2 fucking seconds

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

imo the term "walkable" in "walkable cities" should be understood to mean "wheelchair accessible" as well, not just literally "possible to walk in". the act of walking in a city doesn't automatically make it walkable

Im giving creepy blowjobs now & they keep telling me they want just the normal ones

New York is out, LA is out, this summer will be all about decadence in Omaha, Nebraska

people act like having breakfast for dinner is weird and special when in fact it's the most widespread and normalised meal identity transgression out there. talk to me when you're having dinner for breakfast, snack for dinner, lunch for brunch,

reblogging this again to bring up that when my grandma said she didn’t understand trans people, and why would they betray the body God gave them, it would have been 0 help to explain to her all the biological and cultural and societal components to the existence of the concept of gender and trans people. You know what did make her pause and reconsider her stance? “Did you ever think that maybe God made trans people on purpose?” And we got to have a conversation about all the interesting things God has made so why wouldn’t God make trans people? And she came out of the conversation with more grace and understanding.