kushhh

“You are twenty. You are not dead, although you were dead. The girl who died. And was resurrected. Children. Witches. Magic. Symbols. Remember the illogic of the fantasy. The strange tableau in the closet behind the bathroom: the feast, the beast, and the jelly-bean. Recall, remember: please do not die again. Let there be continuity at least - a core of consistency - even if your philosophy must be always a moving dynamic dialectic. The thesis is the easy time, the happy time. The antithesis threatens annihilation. The synthesis is the consummate problem.”

For you, I let my favourite singer change into something absurd that you love. I adore how I used to pretend that I liked the music just to be a little likeable to you. For you, I let my healing romantic movies and love change into something so distinct from my taste. I adore how I used to screenshot all of your favourite movie dialogues just so we could have similar astes. For you, I let my timings be rearranged so I could just have a glimpse of your presence.

There's this narrative about people that I have in my head every now & then that revovles around me. Never too fond of people and always considered myself as a walking misanthrope yet sometimes I happen to reconsider my assumptions in my head again.