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Malcom in the Middle Ages
Youāre not the lord of me now
Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the small, uncaring ways.
Stephen Vincent BenƩt (b. 22 July 1898)
my requirements for sleeping at night: is the pillow cool enough? are my legs positioned so they donāt put too much weight on each other? are my arms tucked in nicely and not at odd angles? can I stop thinking about the dayās events? is enough of my body out from under the blanket that I wonāt overheat? are my toes safely tucked in to hide them from monsters?
my requirements for sleeping in the morning: is the surface vaguely horizontal and not made entirely out of hornets
Sorry we canāt cbt our way out of the fact that the earth is becoming observably less habitable with each passing year
depends whose cock and balls your torturin', i reckon

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im going to fucking die
This will always be one of my favorite videos.Ā
by 00f100
Now this is a big boi
(via)
Honestly The Gentlemen Bastards sequence
Is kinda like if spongebob and Patrick were conmen.
me barging into every tv studio's headquarters by diving through their windows: LOCKE LAMORA ADAPTATION LOCKE LAMORA ADAPTATION LOCKE

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A (very) short musing about Locke Lamora and Kaz Brekker
The thing I find really interesting about the character Locke Lamora from the Gentleman Bastards series is how incompetent he actually is. Donāt get me wrong, Locke is a good schemer and he knows his way around a scam, but his real skill lies in acting. Locke is rarely competent at anything, but heās really good at pretending he is. Most of the time Locke is entirely reliant on other characters to rescue him once things go wrong. This is especially obvious in nearly every fight scene in the books. When Locke wins a fight itās generally either because he got lucky or because Jean showed up to save him. Heās also incredibly arrogant. He gets overconfident and bites off more than he can chew. He doesnāt back off when heās in over his head. Characters literally die because of this, but he never quite learns.
Compare this to Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows. Kaz is another schemer character who leads a gang (he also happens to be at least a decade younger than Locke, but weāre not discussing that). Kaz encourages the demon mythos that has built up around him because people being afraid of him makes his job easier. Unlike Locke, I do not think Kaz is arrogant. In fact, Iād argue that Kaz has a very realistic understanding of what heās capable of and that he rarely if ever does something thatās over his head. Kaz simply does not allow himself to get into situations he canāt handle. He can be outsmarted, but itās not easy, and heās never completely outmatched.
I find the comparison between hyper-competent Kaz and Locke who is, quite honestly, a little bumbling, very interesting. On the surface, these characters are very similar (they are the same type of characters and perform very similar roles in the story), but the way they are handled is very different. Incidentally, while neither character is traditionally heroic, Kaz reads as far more of an anti-hero than Locke does, probably because of these differences in characterization.
While I ultimately like Kazās version of scheming mastermind better, I find the ways that Lockeās unique characterization influences the narrative fascinating and worth analyzing.
āI have always found the presumptions of others to be the best possible disguiseā
- Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora
āLocke is like a brother to us, and our love for him has no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are āLocke would appreciate it.āā āRivaled only by 'Locke taught me a new trickā"Added Galdo. "The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora gamesāā āāis Locke Lamoraāā āābecause we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot ironsāā āāand fifty thousand cheering spectators.ā
The Lies of Locke Lamora, Chapter One (via hatterandahare)
Has this been done yet ?
im supposed to be writing college essays and i made these gentlemen bastards memes instead enjoy

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Locke Lamora: just leave me here to DIE jean
Jean Tannen:
thatās it. thatās the entire series.
[ Ā A z a Ā G u i l l a Ā ] Ā Ā Ā Also know as the Lady of the Long Silence and the Lady Most Kind, is one of The Twelve, the gods of the Therin people. She is the goddess of death, depicted as wearing a veil. She embraces the dead, cares for them and is said to weigh the souls of the departed once theyāve gone on to the other side.