Not Associated With The Real Dan And Phil

Dan: I think I know a way we can get the money

Phil: I've come to offer you some friendly advice.

Dan: 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses

Phil: I’m in love with you

Phil: Potatoes are actually my unproblematic fave

PJ: Hey what’s up??

Dan: Stop being so weird and annoying or we aren’t going to be friends anymore!

Due to my inability to say non-dumbass things, I will no longer be saying things

Dan: Is there another word for horny but not in a sexual way

Phil: Which country has the most birds?

Phil: What time do you usually go to bed?

Martyn: *arriving unexpectedly* Why are you naked Phil?

Phil: *unbuttoning shirt* bloody hell it’s hot in here

Dan: No

Sometimes Dan will be like "What do you think you're doing?" But that just means stop.