The Slytherin Owl

**TRIGGERS FOR EVERYONE, THIS IS A SCENE INVOLVING DAMIEN FROM SEDUCE ME THE OTOME AND YOU IN CHAINS! OKAY?! OKAY.HEADPHONES ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND.

CREDITS: Damien - Jonah Scott ( @jonahscottva ) Script and Mix - Michaela Laws ( @thebunnyofevil )

DOWNLOAD IT HERE <3

SITUATION: You’re with Damien but, because you wanted so desperately for the other brothers to stay in the mansion with you, you’ve been thinking about the guys. Damien… doesn’t like that.

(As you sleep, you hear Damien’s voice echo near your ear, not loud enough to wake you up…) Why do you dream of them? Why not just me? Am I not worth being your dreams, too? All you think of is them… Why not just me? You told me you loved me, yet… I’m not the only one that gets to be in your mind… Why?… Hmm… Then.. I guess I’ll have to make you think of me… 

(You finally wake up to see Damien smile down at you) Ah. You’re awake. Good. I wanted to talk. (Say: Talk? What do you mean?! What’s going on?!) Shhhh, calm down. Calm down. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t have any reason to leave the room during the conversation. That’s all. (You then realize that you are IN CHAINS and struggle!) I know you’re scared and I know you want to get out but I need to make sure I have your complete (Damien grabs the chains to make you look at him.) attention while we talk about this, okay? I want you to focus on me. Talk to me. Think ONLY of me. Only. Of. Me. Understand? (You think about calling our and screaming for help. The others are here, right?) Don’t bother screaming. The others are gone. They went out today when I asked to get some alone time with you. Since you and I are together, you know?

(You finally calm down and try to listen, but you are frightened as hell...) Why are you so hesitant about this? I just want to talk. Is there something wrong with that? Is there something wrong with talking to me? What did I do? (Say: You chained me up!!) I told you! Arg… mm… nevermind. Don’t think about the chains right now. Think about me. You love me, right? Why not think about me? (Say: I only think about you.) You’re lying. I hear your every thought. You don’t think of me. You think of them. Every day I have to hear you think about them, imagining this and that about them.

Am I– Am I just not good enough for you? Are my brothers that much more memorable than me? (Say: That’s not true!! // Damien suddenly gets close to you.) THEN WHY?! Why are you lying to me?! What did I do to make you lie to me?! (You can’t bear this anymore. You struggle again.) You won’t escape from those chains. You won’t escape from me. I’ll be back when you calm down. I will figure out why you don’t think of me.

(Damien crawls over you and whispers in your face)

But still interested in feeding yourself? What if I told you that there’s a woman with a blog who had to feed both herself and her young son…on 10 British pounds ($15/14 Euro) per week?

Let me tell you a thing.

This woman saved my life last year. Actually saved my life. I had a piggy bank full of change and that’s it. Many people in my fandom might remember that dark time as when I had to hock my writing skills in exchange for donations. I cried a lot then. 

This is real talk, people: I marked down exactly what I needed to buy, totaled it, counted out that exact change, and then went to three different stores to buy what I needed so I didn’t have to dump a load of change on just one person. I was already embarrassed, but to feel people staring? Utter shame suffused me. The reasons behind that are another post all together. 

AgirlcalledJack.com is run by a British woman who was on benefits for years. Things got desperate. She had to find a way to feed herself and her son using just the basics that could be found at the supermarket. But the recipes she came up with are amazing. 

You have to consider the differing costs of things between countries, but if you just have three ingredients in your cupboard, this woman will tell you what to do with it. Check what you already have. Chances are you have the basics of a filling meal already. 

Here’s her list of kitchen basics. 

Bake your own bread. It’s easier than you think. Here’s a list of many recipes, each using some variation of just plain flour, yeast, some oil, maybe water or lemon juice. And kneading bread is therapeutic. 

Make your own pasta–gluten free. 

She gets it. She really does. This is the article that started it all. It’s called “Hunger Hurts”.

She has vegan recipes.

A carrot, a can of kidney beans, and some cumin will get you a really filling soup…or throw in some flour for binding and you’ve got yourself a burger. 

Don’t have an oven or the stove isn’t available? She covers that in her Microwave Cooking section. 

She has a book, but many recipes can be found on her blog for free. She prices her recipes down to the cent, and every year she participates in a project called “Living Below the Line” where she has to live on 1 BP per day of food for five days. 

Things improved for me a little, but her website is my go to. I learned how to bake bread (using my crockpot, but that was my own twist), and I have a little cart full of things that saved me back then, just in case I need them again. She gives you the tools to feed yourself, for very little money, and that’s a fabulous feeling. 

Tip: Whenever you have a little extra money, buy a 10 dollar/pound/euro giftcard from your discount grocer. Stash it. That’s your super emergency money. Make sure they don’t charge by the month for lack of use, though.

I don’t care if it sounds like an advertisement–you won’t be buying anything from the site. What I DO care about is your mental, emotional, and physical health–and dammit, food’s right in the center of that. 

Here’s an up to date link

[tweet]

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

keep on not working for startups

sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that's okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don't burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again

it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it'll be

related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you ... well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive

knees are bastards too

don't even get me started on ankles

there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I'm sorry

one day you're gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you

on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about

"loving yourself" is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on

this will happen incrementally - be patient

along those lines, if you haven't started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it

no, shut up. do it. "but it's haaaaard!" don't care. do it.

whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup

stretch regularly - your future self will thank you

at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced

this will be infuriating and annoying

otoh, most other things just... will not matter to you as much

at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like "eh" and deciding to stay in. this is okay.

you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care

but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you'll never be irrelevant

your company still doesn't love you - don't give them more than they pay you for

Find joy, every kind, it's always worth it

I'm talking that massive, never-ending Discord chat with your bestie? The one that makes you giggle through the day? It's not a "waste of time," it's what time was made for

If that's fanfic for your favorite characters who never even met on screen celebrate that!

If that's building a tiny fleet of snake villagers for your snake town and they just cover your mantel hell yes!

If that's collecting pillows and making a fort of them every weekend I'll be right over

Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.

Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼