I'LL BLOG WHAT I WANT

It’s just another day

and once again

I’ve made so many mistakes

I feel my brain

knocking on people

like an unanswered door

with whispers on the inside

clearly evident

and I’m clearly

ignored

We talk

and it’s nice to know

how little we care

for the lines

that will one day

be etched into our faces

~

how rarely we ponder

the days lived

and the time given

to things

not worthy of the vault

we keep in our hearts

~

we save shelves for each other

next to the jewels gathered along the way

and think nothing of currency

~

for this is a friendship that can never be paid for

a delicate merger

pri…

  I have hopes

and dreams

and unfortunately

glued feet

struggling against

the weight of my knees

-stuck

There is a shift in the wind

that spins the centre of my soul

like a windmill

planted between two mountains

suddenly catching the breeze

-inspired and relieved

I’ve fought my nature

for what feels like forever

pressing it into bulletproof glass

and I wonder what might happen

if I let myself fall apart

turning back into sand

-giving every particle to the wind

  I confess

I am not the picture I painted of myself

after the family portrait crumbled around me

and I vowed to paste all the pieces back together

~

-with nothing but a pen

Your words

won’t become stones

in my garden

filled with roses

of every imaginable colour

They hurt when they are cast

and bruise when they land

but they do not stay

Swept away, they are, by the wind of a heart

that knows better than to sink

under the weight of rocks

thrown daily

  -you cannot stay

You were supposed to love us unconditionally

but your love always came with conditions

This life can be a battle

but

it can also be the stillest of streams

depending on where

you choose to rest your eyes

-field of awareness