Neither the divine feminine or the damned masculine

🔞THIS IS AN 18+ BLOG ONLY!🔞

I *WILL* block those who are not 18 who try to follow this blog!

I wanted this URL for years and only now after the porn ban do I finally get it. God thinks he's funny like that.

Hellbent/Bentley/Bent, if you must call me anything. 21+.

If the icon of a shopping cart full of tiny Bad Dragon dildos didn't give it away, this is a sideblog for NSFW content (even if site staff and payment processors are damn determined they're stronger than the Almighty Horny).

The kinks are probably tame by Tumblr standards, but this is still a place to be anonymously foul and down bad in peace without normie interference or judgment.

My main is...none of your business. If you do know what my main is, *mind* ya damn business. My exact gender and sexuality is also none of your business, either, you don't need to know my alphabet.

I don't intend to be so abrasive, but I just want to enjoy my horny corner in peace and it's so hard to do that on the modern internet these days.

Anyway, here's some common tags/kinks and also a hard no list. Subject to be changed over time.

HARD NOs: Pregnancy, birthing, or baby-related content of ANY kind (including omegaverse and its tropes), scat/shit/coprophilia, vomiting, DDLG/CGL dynamics (I realize the irony of me saying that, when I have what is basically a daddy issues kink, but those specific dynamics have strong ties to age regression and littlespace, which is *not* my thing, so that's why), father-daughter incest, diapers, bimbofication or other forms of forced feminization, misogyny and patriarchy kink, feederism/feedee/weight loss or gain-based kinks, raceplay, obviously no IRL depictions of bestiality/necrophilia/snuff/gore/incest/pedophilia.

(Note: Some gender play might still go on, but it generally won't be aligned with overt feminization or feminine stuff. Also using derogatory terms like "whore, cunt, bitch, etc." is fine, again, it's only in the specific context of misogyny/patriarchy shit I don't want it.)

#not dragon dicks: Meme shit or other things barely or not even remotely related to horny shit. #get bent bentley: Original posts made by me. #and I still don't like pastels: For reasons that even I can't nail down, lately I keep having various thoughts about my gender. This tag is for those thoughts. Less sexy, more existential. #everyone get more divorced: Posts about aromanticism and being aromantic. Love is in the air? Wrong! Deadly neurotoxin! #tie a hoe down: Usually has to do with traditional BDSM-type stuff, but especially bondage. #forgive me father for I have sinned; I've sinned a lot: Priest and otherwise religious kink. Didn't think this would actually be a frequent one but uh. You learn new things about yourself everyday. #dragon dicks: In case the blogname wasn't obvious, we fuck dragons here. #monstrous lovers: ...Among other, not-dragon creatures and monsters. The non-dragon furry and teratophilia shit, basically. #bark at the moon: This one's specifically for transformation and/or lycanthropy and werewolf tropes. Yes, it's different. #that is not medicine: Various things under the medical kink umbrella. May include gore, snuff, that kind of content. Be wary and make sure to blacklist appropriately. #a bit of the old ultraviolence: Non-medical blood, gore, violent acts such as beatings and cannibalism. Again, be wary and make sure to blacklist appropriately. #I'm a thirsty little flower: Piss kink. Mind the splash zone. #do you want to make love to a sad old man?: The tag for DILFs and a very specific kink that a group of friends and I coined called 'saddy kink.'

What is a saddy, you ask? A saddy should ideally have several traits:

OLDER. A saddy needs to be 30+ at absolute minimum, 35+ preferred, 40+ even better. A 20 year old anime twink is not a saddy.

Miserable. This is the 'sad' part of the saddy. Needs to reek of divorce and alcohol, preferably both.

Fatherly vibes. He doesn't necessarily need to be a GOOD caretaker but he needs to at least be trying when it comes to kids/younger people.

Examples: Joel Miller (The Last of Us), Booker DeWitt (Bioshock Infinite), Shane (Stardew Valley), John Lowe (American Horror Story: Hotel)

"oh you're just sleeping with your professor to get an easy A" sir/madam/marquise, I can assure you that these grades were earned with my own blood sweat and tears, I am sleeping with the professor because I want to fuck that old man, not because I want him to overlook my schoolwork. I'm on the "want him to be grading my essay while I'm under his desk and his dick is actively in my fucking mouth" type of shit. Get on my level.

The Goblin In My Brain, clearly understimulated and wanting to pick a fight: "hey do you think the fact that we hated swimming in public places despite loving swimming in general was because we were fat and constantly made fun of for it, or because we were dysphoric given how much you envied the fact that boys got to swim in shorts and a t-shirt without it causing a fuss"

Me:

it was supposed to be a porn blog but it's not like I have anywhere else I can safely talk about this shit since too many people know and recognize me in other places.

that's the thing that's been bothering me the most lately.

because I keep analyzing and examining and trying to approach this problem from EVERY conceivable other angle, trying to somehow intellectualize myself out of feeling this way. you're not trans, you just have body issues brought on by various poorly-treated medical conditions. you're not trans, you're just autistic and think traditional gender roles are arbitrary and stupid (which they are). you're not trans, you're just over-empathizing with your friends being hurt by current legislation. you're not trans, you're just REALLY tokophobic. you're not trans, you just want to be a contrarian against a certain type of person you find obnoxious and hateful. you're not trans, you're just connecting unrelated memory dots and hoping it adds up when it doesn't.

...none of that's been working, which is how I begrudgingly know that this is probably for real. I don't want it to be real, but wanting ain't getting.

I know I'm going to have to be in the closet IRL, for god knows how long. until my mother dies? until I get out of this state? until I can be safely sterilized? until the country collapses under the weight of its crumbling infrastructure because a dementia-addled pedophile took a sledgehammer to it? who fucking knows.

but everytime I think about coming out online, at least, or even just officially out to my friends (not counting the few I've let some things slip to), I tense up in fear.

because things are so toxic now. radfem rhetoric has poisoned the well so much that the infighting is vile, and plain bigoted homo/transphobia is still the norm pretty much everywhere else. I'm terrified about how my social groups will react, especially as several of those friends frequently mention how much they hate men, find men obnoxious, etc. especially since my ideal presentation and desires aren't something really androgynous or feminine AT ALL

this egg is fucking uncomfortable as shit.