Dear Diary,

I give up

I give up

I just don’t pick right

I want you all to myself

But you don’t exist.

I’m too clingy 

Lost

Broken

On the floor

Just like the song.

I don’t think I’ll ever fully love myself

I’m a work in progress.

Some days, I have more love than others

Everywhere, that’s what everyone says

love yourself, so someone else can.

But no one loves themselves completely,

Ever.

I just want you to walk in.

And I’ll love you when you can’t love yourself

You never want to say the truth

Just let me slip through

I was never in those hands

What do i have to do

I just want you to see me

Don’t you ever feel me

I never want to say the truth

Heavy hearted tasting skin

I just give it up

What do i have to do

I just want you to see me

Don’t you ever feel me

What are you gonna do

I don’t see you

Just don’t feel you

Dying in these lies

I liked you 

That was my first mistake

I let you come over

That was my second

I let you kiss me

That was my third

My biggest mistake

Was allowing you to make me feel insane

Was letting you make my self-worth waiver 

Was letting you make me question if I was worthy 

You are not the one for me

Because

I tried so hard to make it work 

I had to question what  you told me 

Because

But you looked so right

And somehow what I’ve gotten

Are more qualities I like

I texted you

Because I had a bad day

And I really missed you in my bed

I texted you

Because I love you

And I hardly know you

And now I’m scared

I texted you

Because I’m all alone

And you make me feel better

And somehow I’m whole

But now I feel like crap

I feel like such crap

I texted you

Because you’re still not here

And this stuffed animal

But I’m not alive

I start to think

I cannot sink

Running to the islands

You are steady

And I quiver 

You knew what love was 

And I was new at this 

So here we  stand on the edge 

At the ending 

You try to hold on to me 

But I keep slipping

I’m not ready 

Not when I met you 

But you have been the only person 

 That loves me