Shady Pines, Ma

Use vodka and black underwear like everyone else!

Listen, I have an idea! Why don't you all take turns hitting me with a two-by-four?

If you get Norman's attention it won't be because of what's in that bottle. But if it does, I'll sell my mother for an ounce.

Oh, yes, Rose. But then again, who isn't when he's caught relieving himself and eating dinner at the same time?

Four grown women decide to live with a pig, and he's the one with the mental problem?

Even your money has more fun than I do.

Rose, I know this is a long shot. But, uh, did you take much acid during the 60's?

Rose, we've been over this a hundred times. You cannot get pregnant from using the toilet at the mall.

And it was so sporting of you to share your winnings. With my $10 I got that can opener I always wanted.

How old were you when they dropped the "dancing" part?

Blanche, we are not dancing on our backs.

You remember that, but you don't know that MASH is off the air.

Maybe it's a Jehovah's Witness with a caffeine problem.

We’re gonna eat chicken for the rest of our lives.

A bucket of chicken. I hope you like it extra flat and crispy.

Listen, Daisy, I do not like being intimidated, I do not like being threatened, and frankly, kid, I do not like you. And I am not gonna buy you anything, and I am going to tell your folks what you're doing and then I'm going to call the School for Bad Girls and they will come and pick you up and put you in a sack and take you away… And you will never eat ice cream or play jump rope again.

I understand, Rose. Which, if I thought about it, says something deeply disturbing about me.