Hyrule Dork

hello, i am a dad as a dad there are a large number of things that are socially assumed about me both in general and by specific people throwing them at me that i am very, very sick of and i wish to complain about them

i am immensely tired of people who find out i only have daughters and then say ‘oh im so sorry’ or otherwise imply i am missing out or assume im sad about it. i am often tempted to slap such people

more specifically there was an instance of someone who said that, and as i often ask ‘what could i do with a son that i cant do with a daughter’ which rarely gets an answer, he however said ‘swordfights’- im actually prepared for that as the background image on my phone is a photo of my two oldest daughters in a foam sword duel at a park with a cheering audience. he said ‘no, i meant like *coughcough* ehem’….. you are implying i would drop trousers in front of my son if i had one? fortunately i was being paid to not hit this person

everyone automatically assumes that as a dad i must spend 80% of my free time drinking beer and watching sportsball while ignoring my children. i hate both of those activities with a passion, moreso because of this

everyone automatically assumes i must do zero cooking, cleaning, laundry. i am in fact the only one in the household who does any of them, of my 3 daughters i have changed somewhere above 80% of the diapers involved. im trying to teach my daughters how to cook primarily because i know someday they will be out of the house and need to know how to prepare things that are not ramen or require a knife. i hope to teach them how to make crepes sometime this next month

everyone automatically assumes as a dad i must have zero interest in any of the interests of my children, doubly so if theyre daughters. up yours, we share the majority of our interests- we play videogames together, watch youtube together, and were trying to set up a family D&D campaign once i teach them how. theyre already excited to roll characters and watch videos about wacky game shenannegans

somehow everyone thinks its not only acceptable but actively encouraged to make fun of a dad for balding, being hairy, ecc. to the point half of fathers day cards basically call you an ugly, lazy, drunken slob as though thats the joke of the day. like dads arent supposed to have feelings about their physical appearance being ridiculed in public. please stop, you are being an asshole and if you did this to women youd be punched for it

the automatic assumption that as a dad i must be violent towards my children, have anger issues, be irresponsible and distant, and primarily interact with them by being disappointed and emotionally abusive. while i acknowledge that there are many assholes out there not deserving of being called ‘dad’ that should not be the automatic assumption. there is such a thing as innocent as proven guilty, im all for removing such assholes but please dont throw that at actual decent dads

related to that- i really do not appreciate people accusing me of molesting or hitting my own daughters. STOP, thats not cool, such accusations hurt even if false that people would assume that i must both beat and rape my children. just meet me and assume that, ouch. know me more then casually and still think that? double ouch

casually threatening to take away someones kids by a simple phonecall to the police is also not cool, especially when you admit its a threat and that theres nothing you can do to defend yourself. this is abuse, and also evil, especially when you proudly state you can get away with it. like this is literally an evil villian plot, but somehow its acceptable and excusable as an ‘oops’ in hindsight when someone is angry, like it was the same as breaking a dish

why do people assume dads like steaks? like the second i became a dad i magically started to hunger for large slabs of mostly raw meat? arbitrary but i just find it so werid theres a lineup of ‘manly’ and ‘non-manly’ foods, like by law im not supposed to like yogurt. did king of the hill just make people think grilling steak is a dad-thing?

please stop assuming all dads are hank hill, hes mediocre at best considering hes constantly surprised at the behavior of his son as though he only first met him last week, and primarily responds with disappointment and ignoring anything the kid says. my issues with him go beyond apparently only having a vague knowledge of his own son but just hank hill assumptions in general are the generic checklist of default that irks me

okay the assumption that dads are trolls is spot on, the loud Hawaiian shirts are secretly intentional and many of us practice terrible jokes in secret to be better prepared to inflict them on the unsuspecting. this one ill allow. if a dad isnt an embarrassing goofball they arent trying

Ganondorf: I’m retired.

Link: From meeting people?

babies!!!

IT IS DONE  my hand hurts RIP pls reblog this im so proud of it