Writing Blurbs

What I’m talking about is proof of life outside your characters in your world. Not in the sense of ‘talking to the cashier at the checkout’, but things like:

Graffiti etched into a desk your character sits in during an exam

Realising that someone has come along and arranged the cans on the shelf so the labels say something stupid

Dirty vans that have ‘wash me’ written in the dried mud

A coin that has been stuck into a piece of gum on a handrail

Little things that show the world still goes on despite whatever is happening to the characters. 

(Sorry for taking so long to respond to your question!)

I’m sure there are numerous ways to handle this situation, so please keep in mind that my suggestions here are just the way I’d handle things if I were writing such a story, rather than a be-all-end-all answer.

1) Character growth is only meaningful when it is internally motivated. Other characters can be sources of inspiration, can teach your focal character important lessons, and can be support on your main character’s journey, but the changes that a character makes–the growth he or she experiences–really only feel honest and “deep” when they come from within. It’s that old adage: “You can’t force a person to change; they have to want to change.”

Instead of thinking “Character B motivates Character A to change,” I recommend thinking of the situation in terms of “What plot events would it take for Character A to want to change himself?” If the issue is fear of rejection/abandonment, what self-realizations about those fears does your character have to come to in order to reach a point where he can overcome them?

Perhaps Character A is impressed or touched by Character B’s bravery in a situation that isn’t related to their romance. Perhaps Character B’s courage and willingness to connect to others helps solve some of Character A’s plot conflict, teaching Character A the value of interacting others. Maybe Character B’s situation parallels Character A’s dark past, but Character B makes different choices, helping Character A vicariously reflect and then work through his past trauma.

Basically, put yourself into this character’s shoes. What is your most serious, most crippling fear? What would it take for you to overcome that fear? Could another person really overcome that fear for you? Probably not–so think about how love from Character B could support Character A’s quest to grow but not replace Character A’s personal efforts to overcome his past abandonment.

And:

2) Vulnerability isn’t synonymous with intimacy. When you’re writing about a character who fears letting others in, remember that being in a romantic relationship is definitely not the only way for such a person to be vulnerable. Trusting people with secrets about yourself, acting true to yourself without being sure others will accept it, sticking your neck out for someone when you have a lot to lose, going out of your comfort zone, and many other scenarios also allow characters to experience vulnerability on the page without necessarily having anything to do with romance.

Although the romantic plot you create should tie in closely to your character’s major arcs and the main conflict of the story, if the only vulnerability your main character shows is in the context of the romantic relationship, it probably will end up feeling a bit shallow. I would spend time thinking about opportunities for your character to accept vulnerability and openness to others outside of the story’s strictly romantic situations. Even if his willingness to be vulnerable is a result of his relationship in the first place, what other scenarios and situations can you work into your plot that would give your character a chance to practice his slowly-growing openness in other areas of his life?

Mentor characters are common. We all know this. They’re more common in sci fi and fantasy but not limited to those genres. Everyone could use good advice sometimes! Soo here we’re going to talk about a few tips on writing mentor characters well.

(I mean….this post mostly talks about Avatar. Nobody should be surprised at this point.)

Your mentor should be flawed.

Every character is more interesting and engaging when they’re flawed - the mentor is no exception. The wise old sage who’s perfectly wise and zen and knows everything about everything is boring. You might as well just give your main character a manual and send them on their way. Or just send the mentor to do the protagonist’s job for them.

Gandalf is old, tough and wise, but he has a temper (rip Pippin) and he’s incapable of taking the Ring to Mordor. He’s already tempted by the draw of the Ring’s power; this is a flaw he recognises and it’s why he tells Frodo he can’t take the Ring himself. To some, Gandalf might be an example of the generic old wizard who knows everything (and fair enough) but he’s not perfect, and there’s a reason he can’t complete the quest. 

Haymitch from The Hunger Games is an alcoholic; he’s rude and cynical and seems to be fairly unsympathetic towards Katniss and Peeta’s fate. This is because he’s learned not to grow attached to his pupils. They inevitably die in the arena. Haymitch has become the way he is as a result of his trauma; despite his current self, he won his own Games through resourcefulness and determination. He and Katniss have more in common than he would first let on. Underneath his hard exterior are the lessons he teaches Katniss and Peeta.

What does the mentor pass on to the protagonist?

Any generic mentor in a big cloak can teach the protagonist the Lessons of the Magic Thing or something else they need to learn. What’s more interesting is adding a personal element to what the mentor teaches the protagonist; how did they learn these lessons themselves? 

In Avatar: TLA, though Iroh does teach Zuko lightning-bending, most of the lessons he teaches him are life lessons. Iroh teaches Zuko that he alone can control his destiny, and that his honour can only come from his own actions and not what his abusive father thinks of him. 

Iroh has learned this through his own experiences; he once had his own notions of what honour and power were and his priorities were to help the Fire Nation prosper in the 100 year war, specifically to conquer Ba Sing Se. These things stop being important to him when his son is killed in battle. He returns home a failure, loses out on the throne to his younger brother and is viewed by a lot of people as a silly, lazy old man (sometimes even by Zuko himself). But he’s learned from his experience, and when he returns to conquer Ba Sing Se it’s for the Avatar, not the Fire Nation. Iroh once believed the Lie spread by the Fire Nation, and now he’s trying to teach Zuko the Truth behind the Lie.

Another example is Tony and Peter in the MCU, aka Iron Man and Spider-Man. In Iron Man 3, Tony spends time conflicted over what exactly makes him Iron Man. Who is he without his suit? Eventually he realises that the suit may be important, but Iron Man wouldn’t exist without Tony. In Spider-Man: Homecoming, he teaches this lesson to Peter, albeit harshly, by taking his suit away from him. He learns to live without it and see what truly makes Spider-Man isn’t the suit, but the person inside it.

“If you’re nothing without this suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”

The mentor’s lessons should represent something.

When writing a wise old mentor who knows all the Important Things, they should know (and represent) a thematic Truth of the story. If the protagonist believes a Lie about themselves and/or the world they live in, the mentor has to show them the Truth of the world (and the narrative).

We’re talking about Iroh and Zuko again! The episode “The Avatar and the Fire Lord” explores this idea twice; with Zuko and Iroh and with Aang and Roku. Iroh tells Zuko that he must understand the story of his great-grandfather’s demise to understand his own destiny. Similarly, Roku tells Aang that he must understand how the war started to understand how to end it. 

The two lessons are connected to the story of Roku and his closest friend, Fire Lord Sozin, and the themes of morality and balance. Balance is a massive theme in Avatar. Bringing balance to the world is the Avatar’s duty; imbalance means chaos and destruction, while balance means peace and prosperity. Mastering the four elements (and what they represent spiritually) is the key to bringing balance to the nations.

Zuko doesn’t understand the significance of his great-grandfather Sozin’s story, until Iroh tells him that Roku was his great-grandfather as well, and that the conflict of these two men, and the war that followed, are an integral part of him.

“Evil and good are always at war inside you, Zuko. It is your nature, your legacy. […] Because of your legacy, you alone can cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world.”

This represents a big question asked by Avatar; is anyone truly evil or truly good, and what does it mean to balance these elements inside you? Aang asks himself the same question. His friends see Sozin betraying Roku as a sign of Sozin’s evil nature. Aang sees it as a lesson that anyone is capable of great good or great evil. Roku was born in the Fire Nation, just like Sozin, and like Zuko. And it doesn’t define who they are as people.

Give your mentor an arc.

While obviously your main character’s arc should be the most detailed and most relevant to the story, that doesn’t mean other characters shouldn’t develop and have an arc as well. Your mentor is no exception. When it comes to characters that can more easily fall into stereotypes (a love interest is another example; they definitely need an arc as well) an arc is a perfect way to make them feel more original.

A common arc is the cynical, withdrawn mentor picking their sword (or whatever it is) back up and joining in the fight they’d closed themselves off from, or learning to be happy again thanks to their relationship with the protagonist. It’s basic, but it’s an arc nonetheless.

A specific example of a mentor’s character arc is Tenzin’s in The Legend of Korra. Tenzin is Korra’s airbending master and primary mentor; he’s also the son of the previous Avatar. To top it off, he has the responsibility of mentoring his children as a father and a teacher to the last airbenders of the world. These roles combined put massive pressure on Tenzin and his struggles when it comes to connecting with spirits and the spirit world. His inability to connect to the spirits makes him feel like a failure trapped in Aang’s shadow. Tenzin only overcomes this obstacle when he realises that he is not his father, that he can only be himself, and this brings him the spiritual enlightenment he’d been missing all along. He’s more than a manual for Korra; he’s a character with his own struggles to overcome.

The disappearing act.

Why do mentors always die?

The reasons are pretty simple; we need the protagonist to make their own choices without a teacher. We need to see how they stand up to whatever their obstacle is without help. We need to see how they implement the lessons they’ve learned from the mentor.

Even with all these valid reasons, the death of the mentor can feel stale and overdone because it’s so common. Adding further plot relevance to the death of the mentor can make it more meaningful. It shouldn’t just be so the protagonist has to make their own way. The mentor doesn’t have to die either. They can simply go off somewhere for a while; Gandalf just fucks off whenever he pleases because Tolkien needed the other characters to manage without him. His death does add higher stakes to the story, though.

Iroh doesn’t die, but his disappearing act is a result of Zuko betraying him. Zuko returns to his sister’s side and Iroh is locked away in prison. This is powerful because Zuko has to deal with the guilt of betraying his uncle, while also learning to make up his own mind about his destiny without Iroh’s help.

Another effective tool in making a mentor’s disappearing act more meaningful is the post-disappearance narrative. After Dumbledore’s death, Harry learns a lot more about him than he knew when he was alive, a lot of which is a little uncomfortable to hear. It’s difficult to process such truths about a man he was sure he knew well, and adds more impact to his absence.

SPOILERS FOR FFH Similarly in Spider-Man: Far From Home, Peter doesn’t realise how flawed Tony was until after his death. He realises he can’t live up to the image of Iron Man, but not even Tony himself could live up to the heroic image. Happy Hogan tells him as much; that Tony was a mess and couldn’t live up to his own legacy anymore than Peter can. SPOILERS FOR FFH

Because I know many people live in countries without cold winter and I’ve read way too many otherwise amazing fics where the MC faints after an hour in 20 F° (about - 6.5 C°), all this while clad in heavy clothing, sweaters, scarfs and winter coat.

Hypothermia

While everyone reacts differently to different temperatures, there are some rules and symptoms of hypothermia. Symptoms, in order as hypothermia progresses:

Shivering, which may stop as hypothermia progresses

Slow, shallow breathing

Confusion and/or memory loss

Drowsiness or exhaustion

Slurred or mumbled speech

Loss of coordination, fumbling hands, stumbling steps

A slow, weak pulse

In severe hypothermia, a person may be unconscious without obvious signs of breathing or a pulse

Body temperatures of different stages of hypothermia:

Mild: 89-95 F° (31-35 C°)

Moderate: 82-89 F° (27.5-31 C°)

Severe: lower than 82 F° (27.5 C°)

Keep in mind that some people are more sensitive to cold due to their age or physique. People with increased risk of hypothermia include:

The elderly, infants, and children without adequate heating, clothing

Underweight people

People who are outdoors for extended periods

People in cold weather whose judgment is impaired by alcohol or drugs

Treatment

Everyone with hypothermia needs immediate medical assistance, but until that arrives the character can be helped with the following actions:

Moving them to a warm, dry place if possible, or sheltering them from the elements

Removing wet clothing

Covering their whole body and head with blankets, leaving only the face clear

Providing skin-to-skin contact (fanfic material™)

Providing warm drinks if the person is conscious, but never caffeine or alcohol

Carrying out CPR if the breathing stops

If the shivering stops even though the character hasn’t returned to a warmer place, that’s actually a very bad sign and means that the person’s heat regulation systems are shutting off.

The bow is held high, ready to be brought down. Her hands were well calloused from years of this, paired with scars lacing her hands in untold stories.

She was dressed simply, as if just going to the coffee shop. But she didn’t want to go in anything else, her black hoodie and pants would do just fine. So many critiqued her for this choice

Its a day later, the words don’t stop rolling around your head. Their beauty, their grace, their eloquent structure. Why would you ever want to forget them? For after all they seem to give you a meaning to existence you’ve never had. One that makes you smile and laugh as if nothing could ever go wrong, not even here.

Brain: It’s time to start writing.

Me: [checks tumblr]

Brain: Start writing.

Me: [checks twitter]

Brain: Start writing, start writing, start writing–

Me: [checks AO3, checks email, checks tumblr again]

Me: [opens word doc]

Brain: FREEZE. Now… write a word–

Me: [pulls up internet browser]

“Peace and peril are one and the same.”

Fun-fact Friday is here!

WIP: The False Mages

The Arcs, who were the majority race in all of Sentria, were known for being a peaceful people. They were selfless, generous, hospitable. Under their watch, Sentria was a land of prosperity and tranquility. 

Then came the Night of Peril. 

“Brave the trek across the treacherous sands, and you will be rewarded with freedom!”

WIP: The False Mages 

When Kayin Ominira was sixteen, the sands whispered to her. 

They whispered of a life away from the privileged but suffocating upbringing her protective parents had given her. They whispered of a life where she could live amongst whomever she wants, regardless of their social status. 

They whispered of freedom. 

Reverently she took the object, turning it over and over in her hands. “A bone flower,” she said, eyes flicking up to meet Iberis’s. “It’s beautiful, darling. And–so are you.” 

Iberis blushed, her mossy skin deepening, darkening. “You’re just as beautiful,” she said, a soft grin lighting up her features. She lifted up a hand, brushing her thumb over the many jagged points of the bone flower. Mouse ribs and dove wings, that’s all it was. Just a memory of something once alive. And yet, in her hands, it seemed to be more than just an echo of what once was. Death, alive again. 

She spun the flower around on its spine-stem, marveling at the delicateness of it. “No,” she murmured, less a protest and more a confession. “I could never come up with something amazing like this. I–I’m just a warrior, but you–you’re an artist, Iberis. You come up with things no one else even wonders about.” 

“Hush,” Iberis said, cupping a hand around her lover’s neck and drawing her in close. “You protect what needs to be protected. That’s just as important as what I create.” She kissed her gently, then stood there for several long moments, simply content to be together.

Name: Dryad                    

Home Country: Withercrown

Age: older than you

Gender: genderless, she/her pronouns

Sexuality: asexual                   

Hair: Dark brown, almost black, frequently entwined with flowers and twigs–loose but not messy, butt-length

Eyes:  pale green-yellow, like sunlight through leaves                        

Race: Silva   

Build: Average height (relative to humans), chubby

Personality: Grumpy asshole        

Weapon of Choice: carved staff, daggers

Likes: patterns of light on a forest floor, climbing trees, Iberis

Dislikes: Iberis, her own heart, traitors and rule-breakers, people who try to give her comfort and pity, selfless love

Goals: find a place where no Silva has ever been or will ever be (except for herself), own an entire planet she can terraform as she wishes

Magic: healing (best suited to large things, like… entire planets), instantly has knowledge of any landscape she sets foot on, can call on nature to aid her in battle

Subplot: friends-turned-lovers-turned-angst

Hobbies: dedicating centuries to (re-)building the natural land (forests in her case)

Flaws: snobby, selfish, can be cruel just to be cruel

Vague History: (previously) elite warrior of her homeland

Scared Most By: meeting Iberis again, having to confront her

Greatest Accomplishment: realizing her orders do not match her beliefs, and “fucking doing something about it” (her words)

Greatest regret: falling in love with, perhaps, the wrong person

(based on things that yours truly notices as a freelance editor. This list is in no way complete, and will probably be added to as I continue to find repeated mistakes) 

Dialogue

Use beats in your dialogue to break it up. Even “said” can make a very effective beat between lines. 

(No beats: “It’s not lethal. Just highly dangerous with a good chance of being mutilated.” // Beats: “It’s not lethal,” he said. “Just highly dangerous with a good chance of being mutilated.”)

Note how the break allows a bit of a pause for ~dramatic effect 

thinking of dialogue, use punctuation and distinct speech patterns! “Life, uh, finds a way.” is an iconic line anyway, but Jeff Goldblum’s signature verbal tic gives it character. 

It’s okay if characters stutter. Don’t let the condemnation of stuttering characters as “cringey” in fanfic put you off. (and on that note, fuck cringe culture. Seriously. It saps all the fun out of creativity and fun is important.)

Start! A! New! Line! Whenever! Someone! New! Speaks!!

DO NOT FEAR THE WORD “SAID” 

Setting & Blocking

 Use the landscape and settings around your character, and always, always remember a scene’s blocking. Where is everything in relation to your characters? Have you left someone holding a coffee cup for the last three scenes? Did you lose a character somewhere along the way? 

using the contents of a scene is also great for fight sequences. 

Similarly, large character casts are hard to keep track of so don’t be afraid to break them up. Sending someone off somewhere else can create some nifty little subplots. 

Keep a personal note of how time passes. Trust me, it’s incredibly helpful to you as a writer and also for future readers. 

Characters

Character growth does not have to be positive. Sometimes characters fail or suffer or get their motivations twisted up, and they finish the book as a villain rather than a hero. 

All that matters is that a character changes throughout the plot in a way that readers can see; the sort of change they go through is entirely up to you. 

scrap the idea that someone has to deserve a redemption arc. They probably don’t deserve it, which is the whole point. So don’t be afraid to make your villains seem completely irredeemable. 

and you don’t need to redeem your antagonists in order to make them complex, sympathetic villains, anyway. Sometimes people get so stuck in their beliefs that they can’t see another way and it goes too far. Not everyone comes back from that. 

Also, motivations and goals can absolutely change. That’s okay. You just need to have something that drives your character so that your readers are rooting for them. 

Protagonists don’t need to be heroic. How you define the protagonists and antagonists in your story is based entirely on the morality in your story-world, NOT the moral ideas in the real world. What counts as a complex protagonist in a world torn apart by biological warfare will be very different than one living in our world. 

Prose & Grammar

simple prose is just fine and you don’t need to fluff it up for pretty quotes.

Remember to vary your sentence structures and length. Start smaller and build it up, drawing your reader’s attention. 

“And” and “But” are very valid sentence starters that are great for communicating the tone of internal narrative. You’re allowed to tweak grammar if that’s helpful for telling the story, it just needs to be accessible. Test out what you’ve written on other people. 

The more people you have for this game, the better. It has to happen at night. The people get into a straight line, and begin to walk in that line all around the area. They cannot turn around and look at each other, and cannot speak; with the exception of the person at the front of the line.

That persons job is to begin the role call. They simply say, “Role Call!” And their name, then each person down the line says their name in turn.

Here’s the kicker: there’s one person not included in the line. The Taker. They have the job of stealing away the person at the end of the line as silently as possible. The game’s sole purpose is to instill a sense of fear and paranoia in whoever is in front, because as more people get taken, there are less and less people to say their names during the Role Call.

The front person decides when they want to start the Role Call. Obviously, the more often it’s said, the less scary it is. But as more and more people disappear, they become Takers and can then do more damage than just the one.

Some Takers can replace the person they stole, making the person directly in front of them either incredibly paranoid or safe. At least until the Role Call. Takers cannot say anything during it, so it usually ends up more terrifying to know that the person behind you is silent. Again, everyone in the line cannot make a sound except responding to the Role Call.

The game is over when the person in front is taken. There is no winning, only waiting. Waiting for your turn to go. Imagine the fear that person in front has, when they softly announce “Role Call” only to find that everyone behind them is gone.

a list that helps me with writers bloc or editing

shifts in time

is it chronological?

are there flashbacks? how does the reader know its a flashback?

 are there memories as extra information for the reader?

 how does the reader know this part is in the past?

if you’re writing something with many characters and events maybe a fantasy or royalty au it would give a better effect to write chronologically to avoid confusing the reader

if its a short focus on main character work then a powerful effect would be to use flashbacks, memories etc.

shifts in perspective

describing events/scenario from an outsiders perspective

describing events/scenarios from inside the characters head

describing events from an outsiders perspective gives a very clear view on the large scene/context without confusing the reader, its a good effect for scenes with a lot happening or lots of characters

describing events from inside the characters head gives a much more intimate and emotional effect to the reader, its a powerful effect for a emotionally devastating scene

shifts in focus

zooming in on details

zooming out to describe a larger overview or setting

shifts in one or mood

does the tone remain consistent? does it get lighter? darker? is it appropriate to the content/context

change in pace

does the pace speed up with action or dialogue? does it slow down with description? does the pace rely on the scene? is the pace slow on purpose?

change in style of narrative

description, gives the reader a sensory description of the scene

dialogue, tells the reader what the characters are doing