lone rhapsodist

why are greek mythology adaptations always so gritty when there’s so many weird ridiculous antics to pull from. helen of troy not knowing how to cheer up telemachus so she drugs him to not feel any emotions and calls it a night. athena divinely intervening to curl odysseus’ hair so he looks sexy enough to successfully beg for help. aphrodite trying to help her kid on the battlefield and having to run away immediately because she gets beat up by a random mortal. achilles’ horse prophesying death to him and then never speaking again

Forever thinking about the iteration of the myth where Eurydice doesn’t know about the condition and they walk through the underworld while she begs Orpheus to just look at her, or/and talk to her, & the iteration where he turns because she trips . OUHHHHHHH

The insinuation that Helen willingly flee with Paris is misogyny is funny when favorite blorbo lesbian Sappho believed this to be true despite calling Menelaus a noble husband.

why didnt achilles' mom dip all of the baby in the water? fucking moron i'm glad her son is gay and died

Can you be a self taught classicist these days or do they bonk you on the head with a big stick if you don’t have a doctorate

No this doesn’t say classist I’m not trying to hate the poor I’m trying to study ancient Mediterranean literature

ancient peoples loooved a flood narrative it was kinda like their beatles

Any educator who doesn't feel this on a visceral level has never had to experience the psychic pain of reading the phrase "Unused York City."