𝔎𝔢𝔢𝔩𝔶

A melancholic dream girl and a creature of contradictions. Water dominant, Scorpio sun, moon, and Venus with a Cancer rising, which is just a poetic way of saying I feel everything deeply and make it everyone else's problem. INFJ, neurodivergent, and proudly outrageous.

The type of girl who will remember the name of your beloved childhood pet, how you take your coffee, and that one embarrassing story that you swore you’d take to the grave. Gentle and patient enough to be your safe person, but ominous and weird enough to make you question what the hell you've gotten yourself into.

I haunt thrift stores and antique malls like a ghost that haunts the dolls I collect, hunting for oddities, trinkets, and anything that would give the estate-loving girlies an aneurysm. I'm devoted to Ashnikko, Ethel Cain, Jazmin Bean, Nicole Dollanganger, and all things that sound sacred, rotten, and perverse at the same time. When I’m not brooding at my vanity or decaying in bed, I’m either playing Resident Evil or Silent Hill, or rewatching one of my comfort movies (probably Ginger Snaps, Jennifer’s Body, The X trilogy, the Twilight series, or anything with Kyle Gallner in it. I support women’s rights, but I also support our wrongs).

Hopelessly enthralled with gothic lolita, kinderwhore, morute, dollette, gyaru, southern gothic, 90s grunge, myspace era emo, alternative fashion, character creation, analog horror, and the liminal/uncanny.

and like super duper random side note but would you ever do a makeup tut?

Hi! My go-to is the Rimmel London Soft Kohl Eyeliner in black!

It works like a dream for a drugstore brand, but it’s best to heat the tip a little with a bit of friction from your palm so you’re not tugging at the delicate skin of your eyelids.

It’s not often I’m torn up over a celebrity’s death, but Oliver’s has my heart aching in a way I never knew it could. While I was more of a casual listener, I couldn’t deny the impact he left in the world, whether it be his sound, his creativity, or his character. As someone who’s neurodivergent and grew up as the weird girl who was too loud and too much, Oliver was a beautiful reminder that, even if those four walls (metaphorically or literally) are too small to hold you, take up that space anyways, and do it unapologetically.

Being a spiritual person, I feel like I’ve gotten signs that Oliver’s still around, even if not physically anymore. While I don’t usually dream about celebrities, after his passing, I had three subsequent dreams about Oliver, the final dream being us shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries. Simple yet so meaningful. Before that, I had a dream of several pink cars passing by (the same shade of pink of his balloons on his “Ugly Is Beautiful” album). I’ve seen pink cars in passing, sure, but it’s once in a blue moon. But not too long after that dream, as I was pulling out of my driveway, a pink Jeep drove past my house. It’s silly, trying to find signs that someone who doesn’t even know I exist and never will is still around in some way, but to me, these little things bring a sense of comfort and peace to my weary heart.