So you have probably heard of the concept of a "safe word" even if you're not in the BDSM scene. (It doesn't actually need to be a word, it can be a signal, or even like a buzzer if the person is gagged/tied up or something like that.) But there's also this thing that I've always sort of called a "start word" I don't if anyone else knows what I'm talking about or if it has an actual name, but it's basically a thing that denotes "the scene is starting" and like gets you into that headspace. (Again this doesn't necessarily have to be a word) and I think Shane's is subconsciously the chin grab/look in my eyes thing that Ilya does.

I'm getting ahead of myself, but just keep that in mind moving forward.

Jumping into the bathroom scene. Shane and Ilya haven’t talked in months. Neither of them know where they stand. This is more obvious with Shane because he is the one who tried to reach out both with the text and in person at the Olympics (and Ilya didn’t reciprocate), but Ilya also doesn’t know if his actions have totally pushed Shane away.

Which is why that happens after Ilya says (well…..?) is so telling. He complains that Ilya ignored him and then asks (what the fuck do you actually want from me?) he doesn’t tell Ilya to fuck off or that he’s done with him or anything like that.

So Ilya says (I want you to suck my dick) because that’s the only way they know how to talk at this point. Through intimacy. Not real connection like they both actually want but won’t admit to themselves. But through sex.

This scene was THE scene for me. It sold me on their dom/sub dynamic because it felt very real and raw and emotional.

So back to what I was saying before about the face grab. It acts as an immediate return to their earlier dynamic as well as something to ground Shane.

Ilya grabs him chin and Shane melts.

People talk a lot about this scene. Telling Shane to get up and stand up for himself or whatever but like I think in this moment Shane is getting exactly what he wants. He needs to know that Ilya hasn't forgotten about him. That Ilya still wants him. All he wanted was Ilya’s attention. He was mad that he was being ignored. Does that makes the months of silence okay? No, but this is exactly what both of them need in this moment.

A little more BDSM vocab if you're not familiar: subspace is an altered state of consciousness or a ‘high’ that is physiological (both chemically and emotionally). And because it is caused by literal physical changes in your body it can be followed by something called subdrop: or a ‘crash’ or ‘come down’ after. (More about this later.)

Right when Shane says (please) here reads like textbook subspace to me. I also love Ilya making Shane look him in the eyes when he says (you will have to ask nicer than that) because subspace can be very…I don’t know if disorienting is the right word, but again I think the eye contact can be very grounding and helpful for Shane here.

Then, of course, there is the touching...the forehead touching, the leaning on the shoulder...that drives me crazy because they just NEED the contact. You can feel it.

Ilya saying no here is so important. Because Shane isn’t in his right state of mind. He would do whatever Ilya asked of him in that moment. But they can’t do this here. It’s much too risky and Ilya knows this.

Still, he immediately reassures Shane that he does still want this-wants him. And gives him very clear instructions on what’s going to happen tonight, something Shane desperately needs.

Also, I want to talk about this line (let’s make a deal. If you win MVP tonight I will blow you, fuck you, whatever you want.) because this is SO Ilya service!top Rozanov it kills me.

Something that people often get wrong in dom/sub relationships that I’ve noticed too is related to this. A large part of being a dom is serving your sub. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but a good dom gives their sub what they want. You may have heard people say that the sub is really the one with the power in these dynamics and that is true. (I have more to say about this in the next scene so I’ll save it.)