I Have No Idea What's Going On 100% Of The Time

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

turn your attention to The Character

worry about it kitten daddy fucked up

automated text reply that just says YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON I AM LETTING DOWN

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

i get so scared off that anything

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

The thing about how you will talk like a tumblr user for the rest of your life is that usually people won’t clock it but sometimes you’ll meet someone and you’ll actually be able to see a look of painful recognition in their eyes when you say some tumblypoo bullshit while everyone else just thinks you had an epic original thought. And it’s gonna make you a little bit sorry you were born

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

I see from the notes that we're all havin a normal one 👍