You Are Not Alone

Hi there anon, I’m glad to see you’re getting the help you want!

Unfortunately, I’m fairly sure there is no one medication that can be considered universally good. Different things work for different people, different people have different side effects, etc.

On top of that, I don’t have any personal experience with any medication, so I really wouldn’t feel good just looking up different ones and throwing that info at you.

The best thing would probably be to discuss this with your psychiatrist - they will be able to tell you what exactly which medication does. You should also definitely report any side effects to them.

Hopefully, just explaining your situation to him should be enough. Changes in appetite are pretty common with depression, so if he won’t just believe you, you could simply tell him to look it up. It’s a tried and tested fact.

Really, if he’s been studying psychology, he should reconsider his approach towards your problems as a whole, because blaming you doesn’t do anything but shame you for something you have no control over.

Try checking out this post to get some tips on how to ask a friend for help!

Roughly the same should apply for parents, with addition of asking to see a professional (if that’s what you want).

I hope that post helps some (I made it with you in mind)!

Be prepared: Think about the different reactions, positive and negative, that the person might have so you’re prepared. The person will be thinking about their perception of mental illness, you as a person and how the two fit together.

Choose a good time: Choose a time and place when you feel comfortable and ready to talk.

Be ready for lots of questions…or none: The person you are talking to might have lots of questions or need further formation to help them understand. Or they might feel uncomfortable and try to move the conversation on – if this happens it’s still helpful that the first step has been taken.

An initial reaction might not last: The person might initially react in a way that’s not helpful – maybe changing the subject, using clichés rather than listening. But give them time.

Have some information ready: Sometimes people find it easier to find out more in their own time – why not hand them a leaflet or a printout of some information on what you’re dealing with?

Keep it light: We know that sometimes people are afraid to talk about mental health because they feel they don’t know what to say or how to help. So keeping the conversation light will help make you both feel relaxed.

Take up opportunities to talk: If someone asks you about your mental health, don’t shy away, be yourself and answer honestly if you feel safe doing so.

Courage is contagious: Often once mental health is out in the open, people want to talk. Don’t be surprised if your honesty encourages other people to talk about their own experiences.

Give them time: Some people need to take a little to think about things like this, maybe do their own research before they want to go deeper into the topic. This is not necessarily a bad sign!

Their reaction is not your fault: Unfortunately, there will always be people that do not react well. While that is disappointing, keep in mind that this is not your fault. You can’t be blamed for what you’re dealing with and did nothing wrong - the problem is their attitude, not you.

Let them know what you need: Be open about how you would like them to support you - it can be much easier for people to not feel overwhelmed when they know what is expected of them.

Remember this is about you: Make sure you are comfortable with everything that happens and is discussed. Don’t let them ask questions that make you uncomfortable and don’t just accommodate them.

Do:

Be direct and honest; talk openly

Be positive; encourage your friend

Encourage trust

Listen carefully

Be supportive

Take care of yourself

Be available

Be patient

Express concerns in specific terms

Be aware and non-judgmental

Ask what you can do to help

Respect "no"s

Ask questions, be responsive

Educate yourself on the disorder (if they have one)

Pay attention

Take talk of suicide very seriously

Be natural, be yourself

Invite your friend out for walks, activities and fun

Give them space when they need it

Remind your friend there is hope

Remember that they may not always see that hope

Do not:

Act shocked

Be critical, skeptical or dismissive

Be patronizing or overpowering

Lecture

Take over your friend’s life

Respond negatively

Avoid the concern or issue

Judge your friend

Give up or get discouraged

Get defensive or angry

Tell your friend to ‘snap out of it’

Ignore your friend’s concerns

Suggest you have all the answers

Try to be their therapist

Be afraid of being wrong

Joke about the situation (but let them joke if they want to)

Ask “why”

Overextend yourself

Try to diagnose your friend

Be disappointed if they can't do certain things

Push them past their limits

Push yourself past your limits to help

Hey there, I’m sorry to hear the anticipation is wearing you down so much!

Generally, I’d recommend things mentioned in this post to help keep your anxiety under control and things from this post to help keep you busy. What also really helps me is either sitting down to write something (try some roleplaying if you’re into that!) or going on a google hunt, where I pick out (for example) a certain movie and try to find out as much about it as I can without actually watching it. This article has some more ideas on how to cope with your current situation.

Hi there, anon.

I’m really sorry to hear about your mother. Death in the family is never an easy thing to handle, especially not at a relatively young age like that. Having family that doesn’t try to ensure you’re doing okay only makes it worse.

First of all, I’d like to say that it’s okay for you to be disappointed in how your family handled the situation. It’s okay to wish they would’ve done things differently. Of course, you do also have to acknowledge that they were dealing with the same grief as you, though. Everybody had to deal with this situation in their own way - unfortunately that sometimes makes it hard to look out for others.

Talking to your brother is a big step, being scared is normal. But if you think this is the right thing for you and that it could help you be more at peace, please do so. Make sure you do it in a situation that makes you feel comfortable. There is no rush. You can do it, sooner or later. Hopefully, your brother will understand, since he might've even felt something similar.

I’m afraid I’m not quite sure what the problem here is, anon.

I’ve been in a long distance relationship for over 1 1/2 years now - and my second long distance relationship as is. Talk to the person - if the feeling is mutual or they want some form of relationship, I’m sure the two of you can work something out.

Long distance can be hard - but it’s also potentially very fulfilling, as it is much easier to get the space one might need. With the internet being what it is, staying in contact and seeing each other isn’t hard either.

I seriously recommend talking this out, anon. Communication is really important in this.

Sorry for not being around much! I have now acquired the puppy - and he's a whole lot of work, little sleep and lots of whining included.

I've answered a couple asks and have some more answers I started on in the drafts, but I gotta get back to taking care of the puppy. I'll stop by soon again to keep answering asks. None of you is getting ignored, please don't forget that.

Until then, have some puppy pictures.

Hey there anon. I’m glad to hear you’ve decided to talk to somebody!

I understand that you’re in a tough position now - telling somebody is a big step and being afraid of the outcome is completely normal.

Hopefully, this person will react well - try and help them understand by providing resources and, most importantly, let them know what you’d like them to do. Being open about your needs will help the other person figure out how to act in this situation and, hopefully, encourage them to respond well.

Unfortunately, some people will not react well, which can be terrible, especially if this is the first person you talk to. But, if that happens, please don’t give up. There are always, always other people that will react differently and try their best to support you. Just because one person doesn’t understand, doesn’t have to mean that you’re on your own now. You’re being very brave by talking about it already - sooner or later, it will pay off.

Hey there, anon. I’m sorry this is stressing you out so much.

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with not driving. I’m 18, I can’t drive and I probably never will drive. It’s okay to not be able to drive (for whatever reasons) and/or not to want to drive. You can take your time with getting your license if that’s what you want or need. There is no rush.

Either way, if you really do want to keep driving, just try your best to avoid driving with your dad and sister. Ask your brother instead. If you can, try and think about why driving with them in particular scares you so much - there might be another, underlying issue at hand.

In addition, check out this ask I answered for resources concerning your anxiety.

Puppy pictures please!!

Here's one from when I visited him a week ago - more to follow once he's home tomorrow!

xshunin replied to your post: Absence

A puppy! Congratulations! A pet is like the best help you can ever get if you have mental disabilities!

Hi folks! Just her to let y'all know that replies will be slow in the coming weeks. I'll be getting a puppy and he will probably be a lot of work. Between that and managing my disabilities, I'm unsure how much energy I'll have to devote to this. I will still do my best to check the inbox and reply to anything I can, though!

Also, if y'all would like me to post some puppy pictures, let me know! The pup is an adorable dapple shorthair dachshund!

Also, thank you to the anon who also replied. I guess I really just worry that my friend ISN’T as good a friend as I want her to be. She hasn’t always been & though I forgave her a long time ago, I still don’t trust her as much as I used to. Then I went and blew up at my mom & assumed the worst and she is rightfully upset, but I’m worried I only did that because I didn’t want to (more realistically) assume the worst of my best friend. But you’re right, and it’s good advice. So thank you! :)

In reply to this and this.

Welcome back, anon! And don’t worry about how much you’re writing, I like asks of any length, hahah.

I’m glad to hear back from you and I’m glad you feel somewhat better. I really hope some of the coping strategies in the links I gave you end up working for you.