BEWARE OF EMOTIONS

i don’t mean to be political, but what if everyone had basic human rights

rt if you’re also starting off 2017 as a straightedge virgin

“Wrestle Me for America You Thieving White Shit” will never not be funny.

Seagulls are always willing to risk it for the biscuit.

concept: u and i are on a date, walking through a beautiful forrest. i attempt to impress u by ripping a log in half with my bare hands. u are screaming

concept: instead of hedwig, Harry goes into the pet store and this little snake in the back of the store talks to him, obviously gets his attention more than the other animals, and harry feels sorry for it so he takes it home. Then the snake helps Harry throughout his years at hogwarts as harry carries it wrapped around his hand all like “pssssst, haaarryyy, the dark lord isss coming sss” or just petty shit like “haaaarrryy, now is the time, assskkk out cho chaaannngg”

when i was about 8 (bearing in mind deathly hallows was released when i was about 15) i wrote a harry potter fanfiction where harry and ginny where married and it was the morning of the september 1st and they were taking their 3 kids to the platform to meet ron, hermione, and their kids. i dont remember what the weasley kids were called, but i do remember that harrys kids were called lily, james, and for some reason mercury bob. i dont know why mercury bob, but i do know its still less stupid than albus severus.

math is inherently heterosexual

explain

its boring

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?