i was endowed last month in april and it wasā¦something! iāve been told so many times that i need to keep going back to better understand it ā and i assume itās due to the fact that the symbolism and rituals done there are SO out of the ordinary that theyāre scared iāll leave.
letās relax.
when i was first investigating the church i would read all the anti information as well as watch videos about what goes on in the temple. hidden cameras sneaked inside and what not. so i knew exactly what it was going to look like. that being said, i was still so nervous.
i was shaking the whole time. my partner told me that when i got into the celestial room i had a look on my face that said āoh fuck iām in a cult.ā and itās like! yes! im scared! what the hell was that! as a convert, i now see why people think that of us!
but now that itās been well over a month, i feel a bit more as ease with what happened at the temple. iām glad i went through. i have a lot of questions but i know that being someone of faith MEANS that i have to be okay with not having all the answers. itās fine. itās not for me to try and make sense of.
i know that this is a holy place. whether these rituals are down to the T or whether theyāre just what we made sense of based on the scriptures we have ā i feel close to God. isnāt that all that matters?
being told that this isnāt how itās meant to be. that the symbolisms and ordinances are read incorrectly ā doesnāt matter to me. i know theyāre made from the mind of men. the imperfect minds that God has blessed them with. itās the interpretation (or revelation?) that they have received. it will look different to all of us!
still, His way is perfect and this is how i feel close to him.
the temple is such a holy place to me. after i got dressed and was getting ready to leave, i had this feeling of āthings will be okayā and they were. there was some sense of peace there ā and i was too nervous to see that it had been there the whole time. even when i was shaking in the initiatory room. even when the temple worker, towards the end of the ordinance, put his hand on my head TWICE and accidentally slapped me while trying to get me through.
itās a nice reminder that HEY! we are just humans trying to figure out the one thing thatās bigger than us! this is what we got!
i get sealed next saturday on the 6th. everyone pray for me.
happy sabbath everyone.
















