Linus’Clown Town

I couldn’t physically do anything else until I got this idea out of my system. I spent wayyyyyytoo long on this

TW: Flashing lights!!!

Due to the new season coming out, I must say my newest fun silly headcanons so you can all enjoy.

Crowley is banksy and hasn't told aziraphale

Aziraphale had a terrible pun phase that only ended because Crowley told them she wouldn't vist anymore if they didn't stop

Either on purpose or accidentally, Crowley has somehow consumed every single posion, illegal drug, or harmful substance

In most restaurants they go as soon as Crowley walks in it turns into Queen somehow

When aziraphale is in a wonderful mood anyone around him is suddenly very cheerful

The first time Crowley called aziraphale Angel, it slipped out, and aziraphale just never said anything about it ( in hopes that Crowely would keep doing it)

Once halloween became an established thing Crowely became an absolute terror and harbinger of chaos on the holiday ( not for any demonic reasons, shes just like that)

Aziraphale has tried weed once and shrooms on accident . Yes. It was Crowleys fault.

About 75% of the time Crowley is too busy looking at/for aziraphale to actually pay attention to what people say.

He denies it, but Crowley 100% started the French revolution on accident

Princess Anastasia did escape, and it was due to a little miracle by Mr. Fell

Aziraphale (in the cases they actually notice) gets a tad upset whenever people flirt with Crowley

Crowleys response to this is to end up glued to aziraphale the rest of the night, though he doesn't say anything about it

Aziraphale does not notice when people flirt her

Crowley, on the other hand very very very much does notice

Aziraphale prefers to keep his status as an angle underwraps and does so in order to not freak out any humans. Albeit he's not so good at hiding it.

Crowley on the otherhand prefers to do things in such a way that it makes humans slightly uncomfortable to be around him.

His glasses are tinted and you cant see his eyes, but every now and then, in the right lighting, people swear his eyes look like a cat or a snakes.

Canine teeth are a bit sharper than most wouldn't ya say...probably just genetics

Always seems to have just the right thing at just the right time.

Anytime he walks by that church he scoffs or crosses the street.

Not very friendly looking yet anytime he needs a favor from a stranger they always agree.

Don't bad mouth that fella he's always with, it seems like he always knows when ya do it.

never seen him eat once, not even in a restaurant.

Once there came a troupe of people who came to spread the word of god, and bless some people and buildings. I didn't see him for the entire time they were in town or for a few days after.

In fact I think they blessed a restaurant he really liked, but I haven't seen him go in since then.

Everyone gives connor crap for busting the window open as if he was not made to do that, like

A skilled perp: running through a window and shutting it behind him

"Ha he'll have to open now giving me just a bit more time too"

Connor: Swan diving through the damn window and quickly gaining on said perp

Ok so here is my 2 cents for the day

Crowley definitely had something to do with Rasputin

Crowley is really good a playing monopoly

Aziraphale always wins scrabble

Crowley has incredible balance and often perches comfortably on surfaces that are not ment to be perched on when thinking or bored.

Aziraphale keeps track of the most impressive things crowley has balanced himself on, which includes

An upright spoon

An outstretched phone cable

The tip of a stranger's umbrella

Loki and Wade

bastards who don't get along or a chaotic duo who leave nothing but destruction behind.

Personally I think if the had to work together it would be loki in deep existential pain while having to deal with wade being, well... himself.

aziraphale can play most classical instruments, crowley on the other can fucking shred on the guitar.

OR