Also I feel like trying to name all your yumes is like trying to rap.......and the only song I've sung at least a little like rapping is rabbit hole and mesmerizer.....so.....yeah..... anyways aziraphel loves you and since I have such a hard time spelling and saying his name I might just call him Azi, stop me if you don't want that twin🥳
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The captain's cabin was surprisingly deserted when Crowley and Aziraphale entered. Aziraphale closed the door behind them and glanced out the window at the remaining crew members being held hostage as Crowley made himself comfortable in the captain's chair in the center of the room and putting his feet up on the desk.
"W-Where's the captain?" Aziraphale asked nervously.
"I don't know. I don't take care of him or any of the hostages for that matter." Crowley shrugged as he began to snoop through the captain's papers and drawers for valuables to steal. Aziraphale was confused as to why Crowley was being so calm over blatantly stealing, then he had to once again remind himself that Crowley was a demon and bad deeds is what they were meant to do. "So tell me, why on earth are you traveling with a cargo ship carrying some of the most valuable booty this side of the atlantic?"
Aziraphale was once again taken aback by Crowley's crude use of terminology.
"Most valuable what?" Aziraphale stuttered just before hearing Crowley groan in annoyance.
"Well there's no need to be so snappy with me! And besides I have no idea what you're talking about- treasure? Please, Crowley this ship doesn't have anything on it except supplies so why don't you and your scary pirate friends go on your merry way-"
"What supplies exactly?" Crowley asked again.
"Oh I don't know! I was just offered a ride by the very kind captain of the ship so I took it. And besides I could ask you a similar thing-" Aziraphale furrowed his eyebrows as Crowley raised his. "What are you doing being the captain to a bunch of pirates?"
Almost instantly Crowley burst out laughing, if Aziraphale wasn't so confused in that moment he probably would have smiled like he always did when he saw Crowley laugh.
"I'm not the captain." Crowley laughed as he continued to look through another drawer of the captain's desk.
"You're not?"
"Nope."
"W-well then what are you if you're not the captain?" Aziraphale asked. "You're other crew mates seem to respect you-"
"They don't respect me." Crowley snapped in a much more agitated way. "They fear me." Aziraphale remembered that fear he saw hidden behind Crowley's glare earlier. "When the captain's not around, I get to be in charge, and if I'm not something to be feared then I'm not going to be listened to. It's not like I care about any of them out there." Crowley pointed towards the cabin door. "I'm just plundering ships until I get bored, if a crew mate dies because they refuse to listen then so be it."
"Oh come on, you don't mean that." Aziraphale replied. Aziraphale knew Crowley, and he knew that he didn't mean a single word of anything that he had just said. "I'm sure deep down, you care for them."
"Angel, I'm a demon." Crowley sneered. "I don't care about anyone and nobody cares about me."
"I care about you." Aziraphale muttered just loud enough for Crowley to hear.
"Nah, you're an angel, you don't count." He sighed. "You care about everyone."
Crowley hoped that even though he knew Aziraphale did care about everyone, maybe he cared about him a little bit more than everyone else, but he also knew the likelihood of that being the case was low enough for Crowley to deem it as unless to fantasize over. His attention was better used thinking about how to open the locked drawer he's been trying to get into for about ten minuets. Aziraphale wondered why Crowley didn't use his miracles to open the drawer, maybe he was waiting for him to do it for Crowley. But Aziraphale would never, he would never help a demon. Although... seeing Crowley struggle as he tried to open the drawer with brute force made Aziraphale wonder if maybe just this once... helping him with a miracle wouldn't be so bad. So with a quick wave of his hands, Aziraphale opened the drawer for Crowley.
"Am I supposed to say thank you?" Crowley raised his eyebrows as the drawer opened.
"Better not." Aziraphale smiled as Crowley rummaged through the drawer until he came across what he was clearly looking for.
"There it is!" Crowley beamed grabbing a golden key from the drawer and holding it up for Aziraphale to see.
"What's that for?" Aziraphale asked.
"For the sugar." Crowley grinned back as Aziraphale's eyes widened at the word sugar. "Sugar? On this ship?"
"Well yeah- you are aware of how valuable sugar is on the high seas."
"Yes- I- I mean no! No why- why would I know anything about that-" Aziraphale stuttered as Crowley's eyebrows were raised again in suspicion. Aziraphale has never been a good liar and Crowley knew this but for some reason Crowley couldn't quite figure out the truth behind Aziraphale's lie this time. "Why don't you just miracle up your own sugar if you want it that badly?"
"Well because that ruins the fun of plundering Angel." Crowley smirked.
"I should have known." Aziraphale scoffed. "Stealing for the love of the game- that's just what you demons do!"
"Well, That's not entirely the truth either." Crowley chuckled again seeing Aziraphale become more and more agitated. "I'm just trying to find the sugar because it'll make the lads out there happy." Aziraphale sighed happily with a smile thinking Crowley was taking over his ship for a genuinely good reason, if Crowley didn't enjoy teasing Aziraphale so much he probably wouldn't have said anything else. However Crowley was neither that polite or humble. "And if they're happy then they'll be more likely to give me an extra bottle of rum tonight."
"Oh for the love of-" Aziraphale turned away from Crowley as he stopped himself from saying anything blasphemous. Crowley grinned at once again successfully irritating Aziraphale, however this time, Aziraphale had a lecture ready to give to him. "Stealing from ships just so you can impress some scallywag p-pirates, or whatever you ruffians call yourselves, all for what? So you can have an extra bottle of rum after you've finished your day of plundering innocent ships?"
"Yeah." Crowley shrugged before getting up from the captain's chair. "And I guarantee half of the stuff we plunder was stolen from the Americans first."
"Well that's-" Aziraphale stuttered trying to think of a possible noble response to that. But even he knew most of the cargo that passes through on ships was stolen, that's one of the main reasons he didn't want to tell anyone why he was really on this ship, he feared it was unbecoming of an angel like him. "That's different."
Crowley knew Aziraphale, he knew the way he always avoided eye contact was a clear sign that he was ashamed of something. He also knew that Aziraphale tends to blame almost every single thing that could have possibly been considered wrong in God's very vague definition of good and bad on himself. Crowley cared about Aziraphale, even if he refused to admit it, so he couldn't let him blame himself for everything that was wrong in the world. Crowley knew that would eventually tear Aziraphale apart as it once had done to him and he couldn't bare to see Aziraphale go through that.
"Surely that can't be your only reason for being here." Aziraphale said as Crowley began to casually stroll towards where Aziraphale was standing on the far side of the room near the door.
"You're right." Crowley sighed as Aziraphale's eyes widened.
"I-I am?" He stuttered. "Then wh-"
Crowley was quick to interrupt Aziraphale, which didn't help the growing annoyance he was still feeling due to Crowley's earlier taunting.
"That's enough of you're questions Angel I want to ask some now." Crowley snapped as Aziraphale began to realize how close they were getting. "What does an angel like yourself want with the sugar that is clearly hidden on board this ship?"
"I- I-" If any other being, either a demon or an angel was asking Aziraphale this, then he would have come up with a horrifically bad lie to try and justify his actions but there was something about Crowley that always made him want to tell the truth no matter how bad it was. Maybe it was the fact that Crowley was so close to him that Aziraphale could feel Crowley's long red hair just grace the top of his shoulders, or maybe it was the fact that Aziraphale was able to see the gorgeous yellow eyes usually hidden behind crowley's shades that always seemed to mesmerize him but he couldn't help but answer Crowley with the truth. "It's for my tea..."
Aziraphale may have whispered his answer but Crowley was able to hear, and yet he still asked Aziraphale to repeat.
"I'm sorry what?" Crowley asked slight not believing what Aziraphale had just said.
"It's for my morning cup of tea!" Aziraphale replied louder this time. "As you know tea is rare in London so when I finally got my hands on some I wanted to have it just the way I like it-" Crowley couldn't help but burst out laughing. "-With a least two spoonfuls of sugar!" Crowley was practically leaning against the captain's desk, bawling with laughter. Crowley couldn't believe an angel like Aziraphale had just gone through so much effort all for something so stupid. "It's not funny Crowley!"
Crowley continued to cackle hysterically. "Oh my God! You decided to travel on a scurvy ridden merchant ship across the channel which you know is infested with pirates just because you wanted some sugar for your morning cup of tea?"
"Yes!" Aziraphale replied to Crowley with such serious and genuine reply to the absurd situation.
"Do you even have any idea where the sugar on this ship is?" Crowley asked before being met with an awkward silence from Aziraphale. "You don't know where it's hidden?" Crowley burst out laughing again, even louder than before.
"Crowley I really don't think now is the time for-"
Suddenly, both Crowley and Aziraphale were startled by a loud yell coming from the main deck followed by the splash of something or someone being thrown overboard. Aziraphale and Crowley shared concerned glances at each other however Crowley quickly hid his concern through a facade of apathy.
"What was that?" Aziraphale asked looking towards the door.
"That was probably the sound of the captain of your ship being thrown overboard." Crowley explained nonchalantly.
Aziraphale was startled by Crowley's apathy. "W-What? What do you mean the captain-"
"I mean I'm guessing it was him." Crowley shrugged again. "Since he would probably refuse to disclose the location of the sugar so in response my crew would have thrown him overboard."
"W-Well tell them to stop!" Aziraphale exclaimed as Crowley raised a single eyebrow at him as he flicked his hair out of his face.
"Well it could have also been your men who threw him overboard." Crowley chuckled slyly. "Maybe they decided to form a coup of sorts while the captain was distracted by the pirate invasion."
Aziraphale was not satisfied with letting a massacre happen on his own ship, but he also knew that his duty as an angel was to remain inconspicuous to the humans. He looked over to Crowley who was starring at him with a curious look of intrigue at what he was going to do next. Crowley wanted Aziraphale to run into battle with that flaming sword he used to own so that he could battle alongside him instead of against him, but Aziraphale just had to be enough of a caring bastard to give that sword away. Thankfully however, Aziraphale didn't need a flaming sword to fight on the decks of a pirate ship with Crowley and it was clear both of them were aware of that.
"You want to go out there don't you?" Crowley grinned, Aziraphale didn't need to answer, his silence was as good as a yes to Crowley. Crowley pushed himself off the captain's desk towards Aziraphale once more, this time pulling out a black flintlock pistol with red accents around the barrel and a golden encrusted snake running down the center from inside his vest. He handed it to Aziraphale. "You're going to need this." Aziraphale was about to take the pistol from Crowley before he hesitated.
"No- I- I can't use that-" He stuttered. "An angel must never use a- a tool to kill-"
"If you don't kill them, they'll kill you Angel." Crowley replied gently placing the pistol in Aziraphale's hands.
"Then so be it!" Aziraphale yelled back in a surprisingly snappy manner as he tried to give the pistol back to Crowley.
Crowley was taken aback initially but understanding of why Aziraphale was so apprehensive to use a gun for the first time, since as far as he could tell Aziraphale had spent his whole existence being taught the fixed way of heaven, they way that taught killing was a sin no matter the circumstances. Crowley knew he needed to try and convince Aziraphale to carry his personal pistol in his own language.
"You don't have to use it..." Crowley began in a softer voice to what he usually spoke with, he only ever used this voice around Aziraphale. "But if a poor innocent sailor is in need to some sort of... I don't know- maybe a miracle of sorts- Then we can't have you with a bullet in your head before you get the chance to do what you do best, help people." Aziraphale felt his face flush red slightly as Crowley handed the pistol out for him once more. "Besides this pistol has never harmed a human soul, I'm sure of that."
"Really?" Aziraphale asked as he took the pistol from Crowley and running his hand down the snake engraved upon it.
"You have my word as a- demon." Crowley grinned.
"Well then- What will you have to defend yourself?" Aziraphale asked realizing Crowley had given him his own pistol. Crowley smirked before miricaling himself a cutlass out of thin air. It was seemingly a normal silver cutlass aside from the handle being shaped like a snake tale and there being an indistinguishable red aura surrounding the blade.
"Don't worry about me Angel." Crowley grinned. "I always preferred the sword anyway." Aziraphale couldn't believe how brave Crowley was being, he's never seen him this eager about anything. He couldn't help but stare at him as he held his cutlass firmly in his right hand and a grin plastered firmly across his face. "Now let's get this over with before my captain shows up, because then we're all in trouble."
"Oh yes." Aziraphale initially was too distracted by Crowley to fully register what he had just said. "W-ait what?"
"Arg!" Crowley suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs while kicking down the door to the captain's cabin with Aziraphale following nervously behind.
And the craziest part is ever since the finale I've barely even thought of Good Omens.
After season two, I was all over it for months and completely in love. I rewatched season one and two nonstop until I managed to move on. I made so many posts on my social medias abouts it.
But the FINALE, the last episode EVER came out two months ago and I barely feel the urge to go back to Good Omens at all. That may be a nihilistic outlook but I feel like I cant really look at the show and find any joy in watching it since I know nothing matters.
And that breaks my heart because I loved Good Omens so much and for so long it was such a prominent queer media in life, yet now I just feel nothing towards it.
I'm probably being dramatic and maybe a sudden spike of intrigue will come along, but the finale managed to just... extinguish a special flame I had with this show.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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