☀︎

literally just so frustrated by the themes and motifs of my character

glass of water is so epic

glass of water is awesome

i don’t think mordecai and rigby were ever gay for each other but i do think many times rigby would be like dude if i was a girl would you want to fuck me and mordecai is like dude that’s weird. no. and rigby is all bent out of shape about it and in the middle of the night when they’re both trying to sleep he’s like why wouldn’t you fuck me if i was a girl. i’m cute right? or am i ugly and that’s why i’m single… and mordecai is like fine whatever i’d fuck girl you. stop bringing it up now. & the next day rigby is like fuck off muscle man i’m not ugly mordecai said he’d fuck girl me & then a portal opens to an alternate dimension where they’re genderbent like that adventure time episode and the voice of god is like mordecai you must make good on your word. fuck girl rigby.

you guys dont know the absolute comedy of stimming by smacking a bart plushie against your bed repeatedly. and being in a call and wordlessly beating the fuck out of a plushie of a ten year old child and one of your friends just going “jamie. i know you’re hurting bart right now”

will you please take my whimsical ass seriously

i asked my bf if he ran a bar what kind of bar would he have and he said “jungle themed bar. with trees and a dirt floor” i asked what kind of animals he’d have at the jungle bar and he said “the ant with the worlds most painful bite.”

my girl so morally ambiguous idk if i should call her good girl or bad girl in bed

having ethically debatable sex with my morally ambiguous wife

babygirl your enormous eyebags and just barely noticeable tremor have captivated me

listen to me, cause here's what your going to do, okay? your going to smoke this blunt, then you're going to smoke this joint, then, you're going to hit this sspongebob bong, then youre going to his this patrick bong, then youre going t

to be chilling out

[said with such intense autotune that i can barely be understood] my head hurts

his thousand yard stare and aura of tragedy has bewitched me body and soul

any amount of love given will never be love wasted any amount of love given will never be love wasted any amount of love given will never be love wasted

just had implied sex offscreen

A LITTLE BIT OF FEAR AT NEW EXPERIENCE IS A SIGN OF GROWTH. MONOTONY IS DEATH BEFORE DEATH AND THE UNEXPECTED IS A BLESSING. ANYWAY, SORRY I CARBONATED YOUR BLOOD, THE SPELL WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.

ok cool what do you want at wendy's

FROSTY

im like if the sleepiest person in the world was awake

katamari damacy is the game ever .you select a level and your giant father calls you a shithead to your face and then places you onto earth and tells you to go roll up some fish for 10 minutes and then the best song you’ve ever heard starts playing