the specialest eldritch entity

They hate me for my girlish whimsy and the cannibalism

Hetero Jessica and the wife who filled the house with chintz should fujo our together over espresso martinis

wuh oh guys! Set thrusters to bedtime because I just got a signal from planet Sleepy: they are going to kill us with lasers

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

In the year 1450 a priest rolls over and slams his hand into his candle, burning him and sending wax flying all over the place

your favorite mutuals barely tolerated mutual in law

well i'll just go ahead and get it out of the way : good morning. i know that's what you sick tuesday freaks want to hear..........

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

The first attested cat in Japan was given to a young 9th century emperor and his diary about it includes such gems as 'I affixed a bow about its neck, but it did not remain for long.", "The color of the fur is peerless. None could find the words to describe it, although one said it was reminiscent of the deepest ink.", "When it lies down, it curls in a circle like a coin. You cannot see its feet. It’s as if it were circular Bi disk." and "I am convinced it is superior to all other cats.” Basically posting about how his void is the best little void and so good at getting really round

"rickrolling is mean" rickrolling is the gentle, kind, prosocial descendant of what we used to do on the internet, which was putting a redirect to goatse in every possible misspelling of a url

Lesbian girl named Rock Papers who....well, you'll never guess what she does

people who comment on fics just to say that they are re-reading and still cried/felt emotions/loved it are the greatest people on earth and should be given a thousand dollars. 

addition: people who comment on fics to say that they are not even in this fandom and didn’t know the characters at all but read it anyway and loved it are also the greatest people on earth and should also be given a thousand dollars.  

sometimes it's less like there's masculine and feminine things and gender neutral things, it's more like. there's gendered things and there's ungendered things. masculine things are ungendered feminine things are gendered. masculinity is the default and femininity is the abberation, the Gendered Experience. pants are for everyone skirts are for girls. suits are for everyone dresses are for women. you know

sometimes it's less like there's masculine and feminine things and gender neutral things, it's more like. there's gendered things and there's ungendered things. masculine things are ungendered feminine things are gendered. masculinity is the default and femininity is the abberation, the Gendered Experience. pants are for everyone skirts are for girls. suits are for everyone dresses are for women. you know

sometimes it's less like there's masculine and feminine things and gender neutral things, it's more like. there's gendered things and there's ungendered things. masculine things are ungendered feminine things are gendered. masculinity is the default and femininity is the abberation, the Gendered Experience. pants are for everyone skirts are for girls. suits are for everyone dresses are for women. you know

sometimes it's less like there's masculine and feminine things and gender neutral things, it's more like. there's gendered things and there's ungendered things. masculine things are ungendered feminine things are gendered. masculinity is the default and femininity is the abberation, the Gendered Experience. pants are for everyone skirts are for girls. suits are for everyone dresses are for women. you know

sometimes it's less like there's masculine and feminine things and gender neutral things, it's more like. there's gendered things and there's ungendered things. masculine things are ungendered feminine things are gendered. masculinity is the default and femininity is the abberation, the Gendered Experience. pants are for everyone skirts are for girls. suits are for everyone dresses are for women. you know