The Sequel to Women

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

big fan of the way moles sit in dirt with their arms out like they’re in a hot tub

can you put that thing on a leash?

I just had sex with hello neighbor.

people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.

"Don't you feel satisfied that your windows are so clean now?" It sucked and it sucked and now I don't care. I just remember the sucking.

1 beer in and i start telling people to surrender