now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead

"i ate too many cookies" is truly an ageless problem. an unlearnable lesson.

free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business

passerbys taking unsolicited pictures of me outdoors and uploading it to r/bonersinpublic even though i'm completely soft

I DON’T RESPECT MY COCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

got kicked out of krispy kreme for fucking the holes

don’t bother me. i’m inserting a floppy dick into my computer.

if my cock grew legs i would send it to the store to get groceries