Crisco

My liege im sorry to break it to you but your advisor that's actually evil and wants you dead turned out to be straight. I know you really wanted to have an enemies to lovers situation with him. Yeah I'm afraid the poisoning didn't hold any romantic intent behind it. The king of the enemy kingdom is bisexual though, I could send him a letter? Yes, I'll make sure to include multiple threats of homoerotic nature. You will have your toxic yaoi, my liege

the swordfish does not know she is named for an instrument of war. we do not know her heart. perhaps she is in truth a creature of peace

arn't swordfish literally predatory fish?

we just can't know that for certain. we don't know

i think its funny how if you imagine something scary enough your brain starts treating it like its real and out to get you. its really cool and not annoying at all

gonna start reblogging this every time i start worrying about about the Scary Getter

you can't come to my birthday party? aw dang, (remembers it's bad to guilt trip people) this doesn't matter to me at all (remembers to demonstrate that i am affected by you to affirm your positive presence in my life) but while you're away i will die (remembers not to guilt trip again) unpreventably. unrelated to you. don't worry about it. (remembers to express care through actions and not just words) you're in the will.

my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person

the best thing a character can be is passively suicidal and the second best thing a character can be is actively suicidal

did not realize joie de vivre was a punishable offense

like to be clear i enjoy many things that are bad. but if they were bad and big, that would be a problem. a bad show/film/book is inoffensive to me. a bad show/film/book that is being given endless accolades makes me feel like there's women in my yellow wallpaper

I'm gonna die in a car crash listening 2 some faggot music and then the emts are gonna fuck my mouth

Am I fundamentally broken as a person, or is it just January.

I’m about 97% sure we’re not seeing the same gif